Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 2 Location: Chester County
Help Me..i Want My Life Back!! Posted: 11-14-03 09:22am
Hi my name is sarah. I am 20 years old
and I have 3 children (all by the same
father). I have two boys and one girl
ranging from ages 14 months to 4 years
old. I had my first child when I was
16...My first son, his name is damen. He
is my little heart and he looks just like
his father. My second child, (my second
son) donnell, is 2 years old.(well, he'll
be two in january). Then my thrid, my
little angel. Daniella. She is 14
months, my little baby. Now myself and
my fathers children, are in a interracial
relationship. He is black. My children
are mixed. My family disowns my children
because of their race. My father won't
touch them or even see them. I love my
children, and I work and fulltime job..I
just want my dad to love my kids the way
he loved me. How can I slowly push him
away from the racism? I don't know what
to do. The holidays are coming up and my
father refuses to invite my fiancee and my
children. Does that mean I don't
go!?!?!?!? Please help!
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glitter8370
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Nov 2003 Posts: 135 Location: bc canada
Hey Posted: 12-21-03 23:59pm
Hey
my family is a somewhat similar
situation.. Where one family members
opinion is tearing the family apart.. My
situation is my mom had me and my brother
with my father who later seperated then
she married my stepdad and had a daughter
with my half sister who is now 5. Lally
and terry( my stepgrandparents) treated me
and andrew like a member of the
family..But when chantelle came alone that
all stopped.. My mom noticed it and
talked to my stepdad about and he agreed .
When they confronted lally and terry
about they say nothing wrong with what
they were doing.. My mom feels because of
them our family is being torn apart..
This christmas has been hard... My mom
doesnt want to see lally and terry and do
the regular christmas stuff... My stepdad
was very upset about this but realized
that the most important thing to do was to
keep his immediat family happy,, meaning
me my brother my sister and my mom ...
All I can say to you is keep your family
happy.. Keep your children happy... And
hopefully your father will come around..
Lgood luck
christina
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saturn24
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Nov 2003 Posts: 205 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa
Posted: 12-22-03 21:04pm
Mybabiesandme... That is a tough one. I
am sorry that your father feels that way.
Racism is a tough thing for some people
for some reason. I personally am
colorblind. The sad truth is that a lot
of people your dad's age refuse to change
their opinions on racism. He is
obviously wrong, especially since you have
three beautiful children and a loving
relationship. I hate to say this, but it
may take him a very long time to come
around, if ever. And in my opinion, I
would not go for christmas. If you go,
you are letting him not accept your
family. That would hurt your man and
your children. You may just have to move
on with your new family and forget about
your old family. It sucks, but you don't
want to end up losing both. Those kids
are half you and half your man. If your
father won't accept your children, then
you need to quit talking to him. If he
loves you as much as he should, he will
eventually come around.
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 12-23-03 10:53am
Send pics, and letters of what he is
missing. This may give him a lift. In
your letters, mention that they are a part
of him...This is what I did with my uncle,
because he would not see his
grandchildren. Unfortuanetly, it took a
tragic time in our family for him to
realize it. My grandmother had fallen
fatally ill, and I mentioned to him
several times that he should let his
daughters know that their grandmother was
sick, and wasn't going to make it. He
would agree with me, but never took the
step to call them. They found out by my
grandmother's obituary, that she had
passed. It hurt him that they had to
find out that way. Now they don't talk
everyday, but he has made an effort to
keep them informed in what is going on.
And I beleive they are getting closer.
So in a way, you have to push it on him.
Good luck,
jennifer
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honeycoco
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2003 Posts: 375 Location: georgia
Posted: 01-02-04 10:48am
I know its tearing you apart that your
father doesnt want to have anything to do
with your children but if you try to make
an effort for him to get to know them and
he stills refuses its his lost. Your
children come first I feel so sorry for
your father that he is missing out on
wonderful children because of racism
issues. I wouldnt worry myself to death
over it just pray about it and put it in
god's hand.
