Hello,
my ex-girlfriend,35, was abused by
her parents and her 2 ex-husbands.She
moved in back with her mother after her
2nd divorce.She was so afraid of her
mother.I couldn't call her or e-mail her
because her mother was always looking
behind her back.We never went on a
date.The only time I saw her is when we
were at work or when her mother was
gone.She had to get home at a certain time
so her mother wouldn't be suspicious.When
I gave her gifts,she hid them in her purse
so that her mother wouldn't see them.I
even asked her to move in a apartment with
me,but she said no because she said that
she had a obligation to her mother for
letting her move back in with her.I never
abused her in any way,shape or form.She
had a Dr.Jekyll/mr. Hyde personality.One
minute she was kind,the next minute angry.
I understood her situation and accepted
it.I loved her and I thought she loved
me.Then I found out that she was dating
another man behind my back and she was
moving in with him.I felt betrayed and
used.Only after a couple of months of
dating, they got married.I didn't
understand why she did this to me.When I
e-mailed her to tell her that a friend
died,she threatened me with a restraining
order.Then it hit me all of a sudden.I had
a gut feeling that she is being abused
again by her husband.I have no proof,but I
have a bad feeling.Is she drawn to abusive
men and why?
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Staylor
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2005 Posts: 93
I Hate to Say It Posted: 06-18-05 18:41pm
But... It seems to me that she is just
really messed up, probably from prior
abuse but doesnt it seem to you that the
reason she would only see you at work and
she would hide your gifts is because she
was with this other man all along. I
mean why would she have to hide the
relationship with you and not with the
other man. Now she is married to him and
obviously her mother knows about it? I
think maybe she may be prone to abusive
guys but it might be that she just likes
to play games. I would advise giving
this relationship up for your own
well-being move on. I hope this helps.
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seminole
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jun 2005 Posts: 2
Didn't Tell Posted: 06-18-05 18:46pm
She didn't tell her mother about her new
boyfriend either.She didn't invite her
mother to the wedding.The last I heard
that she wasn't talking to her.
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Staylor
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2005 Posts: 93
Wow Posted: 06-25-05 07:42am
Well... I am going to say that I know you
must care for her alot... And you are
probably really concerned. But move on
with your life you can not choose
something for someone that they dont want,
therefore you can not tell her she must
stop being abused and be with you. You
are also not responsible for any other
individual it is her choice to stay with
this man and he may not even be abusive.
She may just have moved on... Sorry dont
mean to be rude.
