Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Newcastle, UK
Broken Heart Over Women Posted: 06-30-05 17:34pm
Hello everyone.
I'd just like to ask your advise on
something if I may....
I have liked this women for a long time
now (2 years), and I never thought she
liked me back. But one sunday, she came
up to me and said she liked me for 2 years
so I was happy to hear this. So we
kissed and agreed to contact eachother.
We did, and we met up twice in 2 weeks,
because of work and other things
happening.
I texted her saying when should we next
meet, she said sunday at the pub.. I
agreed. But I went out on the friday,
just out to get totally lathered with
drink and make a fool of myself for a good
laugh with my mates, but unfortunatly
things turned sour when I met this girl in
the night club at the end of the night
when my mate and I had been out for 6
hours straight in double vodkaz. I could
barely stand up straight when I saw her.
To be honest I was hoping I didnt bump
into her because I know what im like when
I get that bad. We werent exactly having
a relationship anyways, except thats what
I thought...Untill this happened. We
were talking to eachother having a good
laugh, then all of a sudden she moved away
with her friends to the other sid eof the
night club and left me on the stool
swaying back and forth with my mate. As
soon as they moved accross to the other
sid eof the night club another women came
up to me and smacked the lips on me...
Because I was so drunk I kissed her for
atleast 30 seconds, the I realized what
was actually going on so I pushed the girl
off me, only to find the girl I was
meeting standing behind her. I was
devestated. She ran out of the night
club. I went after her but shed
disappeared... So I thought I may be able
to goto her flat and wait for her there...
So I ran about a mile to her flat to
explai things... But she saw me at her
door whilst walking up the street with her
friends and diverted up a alleyway ... I
went after her but they shouted leave me
alone... Because I knew shed be upset I
left and went home thinking about that
over and over inmy head. I tried to ring
her but she cut me off everytime. I
texted her, she texted back and said
basically leave me alone I dont like to be
made a fool out of, but that wasnt my
intension.
I give it time to cool off... About a
day... I know this isnt long enough...
But I wanted to see her and explain. But
she texted back, stoptexting me, leave me
alone. Since then I have texted her
asking her to let me explain but she wont
have any of it. I care for this women
deeply, and I dont want her out of my
life.
Please if anyone can give me some
information on this, it would really help
me. She hasnt texted me in 3 days now...
I just want to be with her so badly... I
feel so guilty and bad for what has
happened but I was hardly in the state to
stop things. I know drink is a bad
excuse, but in this curcumstance this was
the problem.
Any replies would be appreciated
greatly.
Thankyou
|
Thumbelina
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 May 2005 Posts: 24
Posted: 06-30-05 18:36pm
Hi craig,
as a woman, I can tell you it is not very
appealing when a guy you are interested in
is really into alcohol. The fact is, the
female probably thinks she not only will
have to compete with other females (i.E.
The inhibitions you have regarding kissing
strangers in a bar went away after
drinking) but will have to compete with
alcohol dependency which can be very
strong, seeing as it is a drug. Are you
sure you are ready to give up drinking
with your buddies for a girl? Or maybe
you could drink less, like limit yourself
to a few drinks so you can have fun
without making a fool of yourself. Or
maybe you have a drinking problem and need
help because you shouldn't drink at all.
Either way, if you really want her, you
have some changing to do because she
doesn't want the guy she saw friday night.
Good luck!
|
lostboy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Newcastle, UK
Posted: 06-30-05 18:43pm
Thanks for your suggestions thumberlina.
But I am no real big drinker, its only
when I do, I dont know when to stop...
And this I need to change thats correct.
But if id had the go ahead from her
actually saying we are going out with
eachother... As in seeing eachother, I
wouldnt of gone out on friday to get
thrashed with drink. I'd of waited till
sunday. To see her. But all I ask is,
would you of givin me a second chance
after liking each other for so long?
|
Thumbelina
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 May 2005 Posts: 24
Posted: 06-30-05 18:54pm
Hey lost boy- for me, if a guy asked me
out, even if we were not officially
"together" if I saw him out a few nights
before our date, kissing another girl, it
would be a major turnoff. Maybe this is
because biologically men and women are
different. If I was just casually dating
someone, I didn't want him seeing any
other girls at all. Maybe she is kind of
serious, like I always was, not much of a
party girl, even though I liked a good
time. Maybe she had a certain image of
you, maybe she had even liked you for a
long time and was excited to get together
with you on sunday, and that image was
shattered. Believe it or not, she may
even be crying and feeling brokenhearted.
Shortly before I got married, I bought a
very helpful book called men are from
mars, women are from venus, on a date.
It was so eye-opening and surprising.
Gotta go, my son woke up.
|
winky2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 33
Hi Posted: 06-30-05 19:03pm
Alcoholic confused boyslut, good husband
material!
Not...!
You wouldn't even respect a woman who
picked you knowing what you're really
like...If you just want to get laid, stay
in this primordial state working on liver
atrophy and collecting stds from
self-loathing bar whores until you're too
old and ugly
|
lostboy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Newcastle, UK
Posted: 06-30-05 19:13pm
Lol winky. Obviously you have had some
issues of your own in the past. But I am
not after getting laid. I agree drink
isnt a good reason for this happening, and
this will have to stop as of now if I
seriously want to get into a
relationship.
I guess i've lost out big time with this
girl, and I think this will stay on my
mind for a very long time. I'm shy
usually, but when I drink I get stupid.
I think its time for me to grow up and
actually take responsibility for my
actions.
Thankyou for opening my eyes.
Thanks thumberina. Your views helped a
great deal.
|
winky2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 33
You're Welcome Posted: 06-30-05 23:55pm
:-)
(best defense is a good offense, they
say)...
You need to stop drinking and get real,
but you sound like you realize
yourself...Ask yourself if you would be
someone you would want to have in a
serious relationship if you were a woman?
Good luck
|
lostboy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Newcastle, UK
Posted: 07-01-05 02:01am
Yea I know, I wouldnt go out with myself
either. Is there any way I can make it
up to this women. I've tried sorry, but
I know this wont just magic itself fixed.
I realy wish this hadnt of hapened. I
have also cried about this situation, I
miss her being around, her smile, smell,
touch ... And I know ive only got myself
to blame.
Is there anyway I can rectify this?
|
winky2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2005 Posts: 33
All You Can Do Posted: 07-01-05 20:16pm
They say all one can ever do is the three
magic steps...
Acknowledge
apologize
change
and really change and never slip up, but
once the seeds of doubt are planted it's
hard to uproot them, but fret not you can
only improve from life's hardest lessons
there's an old american saying:
"one 'aw s*it' erases all the
'atta-boys'"...Means it's really easy to
lose trust and very difficult to retain
it...
You can at least learn from this, to keep
your character pristine, it's all that
there is to define a person--i already
sense you're coming out of that "phase" we
all go through, I don't know you at all
but i'd guess you're a male under the age
of 24 and my experience says that's when
they start to figure things out for real ,
sometimes it takes shake-ups to come to a
place of knowing what we really want to be
who we want to be in this life...If
anything your would've been girlfriend
will truly respect your improving yourself
in any way, and you can attribute it to
her, she might be so impressed
that......
Who knows?
|
Thumbelina
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 May 2005 Posts: 24
Posted: 07-02-05 02:08am
Hi lost boy,
don't be too hard on yourself. If what
happened in the club with the drinking and
having the girl you like see you is the
dumbest thing you'll ever do, you will be
a lucky guy indeed! It took me a long
time to learn that "stupid is as stupid
does" but it is a part of growing up. If
you really are in your early 20s, don't
think you are done learning-you have a lot
of wisdom to pick up yet and this episode
with this particular girl has made you a
wiser person. Learn, grow, and move
on.
Regarding this girl, maybe you will bump
into each other in a club again and she
will see you acting more maturely (is that
a word?) maybe you could strike up a
conversation with her and you two could
turn the page. Or, if you want to be
more assertive and not wait for a chance
meeting with her, since she told you to
stop text messaging her, try something new
in a few days or even weeks. Take her
some flowers for example. But try to not
expect anything at all back. If she
wants to talk to you great, otherwise at
least you know you tried. I can tell you
that my own husband did some things I
really disliked when we were engaged and I
still married him.
