Help Me Figure Out My Girlfriend??? Posted: 07-03-05 20:08pm
This will sound so off the wall, but I
need an objective opinion or 5. I have
been dating a woman for about 5 months who
lives overseas. We have seen each other
about 10 days a month for the past 5
months and recently have started hitting a
rough patch. The distance isn't as much
the problem as some other issues. She
was sexually abused as a young child
several times and then raped repeatedly by
her 1st boyfriend. Her family treated
her horribly and she still has big family
problems. She was also a high class
prostitute for several years and has been
out of that for about 3 years now. We
have a fantastic time together much of the
time, the physical relationship is great,
we make each other laugh - but a few
things really trouble me. Her close
friends are 90% men - and she is tight
with most of her exes - not really a
problem for me, except that the most
recent is still supporting her financially
as he was the one who helped her to get
out of the "business" and is still helping
her. So she is dependent for now on him,
as I cannot afford to help her in this
way. It seems to me that therapy would
help her greatly but she becomes livid if
I bring this up. She also tells some
stories and stuff about her life that
seems so unbelievable to me, she is always
winning trips and money and now has told
me was cast on a tv show where she lives.
It bothers me a lot that I am starting to
not trust her, but it all sounds so
fantastical. She is used to a very high
lifestyle and claims that the fact that I
am not a rich guy doesn't matter at all,
but often it seems to. I guess I am just
wondering if people think I am an fool for
trying to have a healthy realtionship with
this woman - she is sweet, funny and
caring, very beautiful, my friends all
adore her - but is this a no win
situation? Lately our communication has
been terrible and we have fought a lot, it
seems to me very passive agressive, but I
am trying to see if it is just nerves or
her being used to men who treat her like
crap or try and control her. Any
opinions appreciated. Thanks.
|
leah23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 42 Location: adelaide
Hang In There Mate Posted: 07-16-05 10:10am
I dont think you are an fool at all... In
fact I think you are fantastic and sound
like a truly wonderful and caring guy that
she is blessed to have in her life.
Although the situation wasnt quite the
same it sounds a lil similar to that of my
fiancee and me. I was in a very abusive
relationship and am still really great
mates with one of my exes but my boyfriend
has really been patient with me and
although at the start I couldnt stand him,
he perciveered? And we have recently got
engaged and I couldnt be happier!
finally I have found my soulmate and
someone who I can trust completely.
I truly hope that this is the case for
you.
As my partner says..." what is in the past
is done and we all have done things we are
not proud of but we will never be able to
change them so we just need to work on the
future because that is what counts now."
