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Q: I May Be Pregnant But Am Not Ready to Be...
asked by: noodle on July 3rd, 2005
New User
My stomach has been having these weird feelings... Not even pains just annoying crampy feelings in the lower abdomen and hip area. It goes all the way around to my lower back although my upper back has been hurting too. My boyfriend and I had what we call a "slip up" by having sex without a condom. We we're sure if he came. It was a quicky, if you will, and he didnt think he did but it was very.. Wet. He said he was pretty sure he didnt but not positive. We took a pregnancy test two days ago which was eight or nine days after the incident that indicated negative. But i'm not so sure of this because the back pains and abdomen feelings have persisted. My nipples arent extra veiny or sensitive and I dont have a line below my belly button but i've been eating different, less hungry mostly and i've been super tired. For example I slept twelve hours last night (more than ever) and then during my six hour shift hosting and doing nothing, I was very tired. Though this could be due to the fact that my boyfriend and I stay up late nights and sleep every so often during the day. He also has just left to see his sister a few states away for a week.

I'm rather scared because i'm not ready at all whatsoever to be pregnant. My parents are very against pre-marital anything and I still plan to go to college. I also have a lot of hereditary things to pass along such as a very severe case of depression and insomnia etc which has always led me to plan to adopt. I'm really not ready for pregnancy physically or emotionally. But mostly emotionally.

I plan to wait till my boyfriend gets back on saturday to take another pregnancy test but in the mean time i'm dying. I'm sad and my emotions are jumpy and i'm tired and not feeling too hot. This could be because of depression but i'm not sure. Anything anyone could tell me would help.

Thank you so much.
Kt
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nancyms
replied on July 4th, 2005
Experienced User
You could very well be pregnant, usually it takes about 15 days for you to get a positive hpt. Implantation occurs about 9-10 days after ovulation, so if you did have sex during you ovulation time, even if it was before (since sperm can live up to 5 days in the body) you might be pregnant. But you won't get a positive until after implantation so maybe about 3-4 days after implantation.
Have you missed your period yet, and when was you last period, and how long is your cycle.
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noodle
replied on July 4th, 2005
New User
We had sex about three days after my period had ended. My cycle lasts three days and I have not yet gotten to my next cycle to see if i'll miss it. I'm really scared. I'm really against abortion but i'm not sure if I can do this. Anything you can contribute, dates etc would be very helpful.
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nancyms
replied on July 4th, 2005
Experienced User
How long are your cycles. 28 days, 30 or 26? The first day of your period is cycle day #1, and the day before you next period of the last day of your cycle. If you have short cycles you might be pregnant, but if your cycles are like 30-40 days you, are probably not pregnant. When did you say you should get your period?
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noodle
replied on July 4th, 2005
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See, thats the thing. I have never ever kept track of my period. I could always tell the day before that I was about to get it so I would be prepared. All I know is it lasts three days and then I just didnt care. I have absolutely no idea althought I know it ended exactly fifteen days ago. (ps, I know its very bad to not keep track, irresponsible me.) i'm not even sure when I should get it.

Additionally i've noticed more signs. My friend told me about veiny nipples. Now, I dont really examine my nipples on a daily basis but ive noticed a large vein that goes through my nipple yesterday and another that goes around it on the other breast. I've been peeing a lot more than usual. Yesterday within seven hours I peed four or five times. Then today ive been awake for about an hour and have peed twice and already hafta pee again. Or i'm not sure, I feel like i'm gunna pee my pants but when I actually pee, its not a long pee. Weird sounding, I know. But i'm nervous and trying to be as blunt as possible so you know whats going on and can help me.
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nancyms
replied on July 4th, 2005
Experienced User
Well the urination could be a bladder infection. Drink lots of water, which of course make you pee even more. Relax, and try to take another test again in about 3-5 days. You can find some for a $1 at the dollar tree, and they are considered pretty accurate. If you want a piece of mind buy several of them and take a test every day. Usually frequent urination is not supposed to be a symptom until about week 6-10 of pregnancy because that is when you placenta is forming and your uterus is changing if you are pregnant. It seems like you got your period about 18 days ago, which if you have a normal cycle means: if you had sex 8-4 days ago you could be pregnant but it will not show yet, you might have to wait at least 5 more days to take another test. Have you had any spotting, or any type of discharge--sorry for the mental image, but discharge that is kinda thick and looks mucousy.
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noodle
replied on July 4th, 2005
New User
More yummy mental images: my vagina is weird. Lol. I'm dischargey a lot and I have experienced some discharge but I just peed and had none but last night I did. I have no been spotting but I also have hemroids so I spot often just not from the same place. I do plan to take another test this saturday when my boyfriend returns, we just got off the phone and I told him what was going on just to keep him updated. He said he loved me and not to worry, that he'd be with me no matter what. I'm not worried of losing him or being alone during this or anything, i'm just scared of what I could pass on to a baby and if I could handle it. I've had depression for as long as I can remember and have been molested and abused more times than I can count. I've been cutting myself for at least six or seven years now. I have scars on my stomach which will stretch and hurt if i'm pregnant as well as on my hips, arms, ankles, knees, breasts and legs. Depression has a long history in my family as well as alcoholism and different kinds of anxieties. I'm a very mentally instable (unstable?) person but very very against abortion. My mother is a recovering alcoholic and has been through depression (supposidly recovered) twice. She cant handle is and has been abusive in the past.
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nancyms
replied on July 4th, 2005
Experienced User
Noodle, I am so sorry to hear about your past. You should really look into joining some online forums. You can find alot of people that can offer support. If you are pregnant now, which actually you just might be especially with the discharge, you are going to need lots of support. I am here for you if you need me. If you are pregnant you should join babycenter.Com--you will find lots of support there. I went through a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy within 3 months of each other, and went through some depression. I also suffer for insomnia too. All I can say is if you can't find support with family find some helpful forums online. My favorite one so far is ghostplace.Com,--i have the same user name there. I am sure you bf is going to be there for you. I know it is hard to do but try not to worry, you'll pull through. I am on the wait right now to find out if I am pregnant, but I just ovulated a few days ago, so I won't know until about 7-10 days from now or even later. If you don't mind me asking how old are you?
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noodle
replied on July 4th, 2005
New User
I'm currently 18 but will be 19 in september. Dont feel sorry for me, most of it's over. I'm just trying to move on. When my grandparents died in ninety-six my mom fell into a really bad and severe depression and since my dad works a full time job building pools for a very prestige pool company bringing in money for me and my younger brother and sister, I raised them. I suppose i'm decently experienced in the field (a little humor tee hee).

I'm just not sure because I have a problem with being subconsciously dramatic. So i'm not sure if my body really does feel weird or if i'm making it up or if its just the depression. I dont have a lot of friends because people think i'm crazy for cutting myself but I do have a few who I love and trust and know will be there for me. My mom isnt a bad person she just has problems and whether or not she gets mad if I am pregnant, I will tell her and shell still love and support me. I just dont wanna mess up her life too. She's worked very hard to get where she is now.

Either way, thank you very much for your email, I will keep in touch. And I do plan to look into those forums just not today, I gotta head out to work in a few hours and I have some laundry to do as well as shower. If you dont mind my asking, how old are you? Additionally, if you have aim, you can reach me at thisiwillbring. I'm usually on and it might be easier for us to chat if you have it. Otherwise, I dont mind keeping in touch through this forum.

Ps, whats an ectopic pregnancy? I know what a miscarriage is but i've never heard of the other.
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noodle
replied on July 4th, 2005
New User
Additionally, I was just wondering what your name is. Mine is kaitie.
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nancyms
replied on July 4th, 2005
Experienced User
Well I am very glad to hear you have moved on. Seems like you had to grow up quick. Well maturity if good. You are right about it also being your own body that is doing it to you. I have gone through that the last several months too. I really want to be pregnant so sometimes I make myself have symptoms, like nasea, and frequent urination, and a flutter in my stomach, which is something I felt during my other 2 pregnancies.

Btw, and ectopic, pregnancy is when the pregnancy begins to develop elsewhere and not in the uterus. For example the cervix, the ovaries, outside the uterus wall or most commonly in the fallopian tubes. Since the pregnancy is not in the correct place it must be terminated. I had to have surgery to have mine removed, it was in my right fallopian tube. The Dr. Said the tube was soo messed up they had to remove it. So now only half my reproductive system works.

Nancyms
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noodle
replied on July 4th, 2005
New User
Good god, i'm very sorry to hear that. That, for lack of a better term, sucks. Do you have any children, are you married? You dont hafta answer these if they're too personal, i'm nosey. ::smiles::


I know I should take this all one step at a time but its hard to not know and just be out of high school and have so much on your plate and not know what to start with. I mean, I plan to go to the local community college for a semester or two to get the required subjects out of the way before going to what I like to all a real college to study forensic psychology. I'm just not sure what I wanna do with my life, i'm actually not sure about anything in my life so I dunno if a baby is a good idea. Just thinking about it makes me feel stupid cause I very well may not even be pregnant and i'm all worried and thinking and planning it like its a definate. Ugh, its nerve-racking.
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nancyms
replied on July 4th, 2005
Experienced User
Hehe, its okay you can be nosey. I am married, and have no children.

I know what you mean about the nerves, this is my 3rd month trying to concieve after the surgery, which was back in jan. I hate playing this waiting game to see if I got it this month or what. That's why I spend most of my time on the internet. I have my own insurance agency, so I am infront of a computer all the time. Hehe

i am actually going back to school myself next semester. I will be finishing up my basic classes at the local community college, then transferring hopefully this time next year. I am also going for psychology. Have you filled out your fafsa, financial aid can help you in so many ways. If you are pregnant you can still go to school, you can take classes on line, and apply for financial aide, and it will pay for you to take your child to daycare. You probably won't have to use any type of government aide except for the financial aide. There are so many possibilities. Don't worry if you are pregnant, you will be fine either way. Even though, we don't have any children my husband and I both qualified for financial aide and will have 2 semesters completely paid for including books and everything. And I still own my own business, there is so much out there.
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noodle
replied on July 4th, 2005
New User
Wow, my boyfriend will turn 20 a few days before I turn 19 and he wants to go to college but didnt make the dead line for application turn ins. Neither did I hence the community college. I still live at home and have just about no money to my name. I did fill out my fafsa but have heard nothing yet. Will I hafta refill it it out if I am pregnant? Will I get more financial aide if I am pregnant? I'm really scared about where i'll live and such. I cant even make enough money to get an apartment let alone support a child.

Do you have aim? My aim is thisiwillbring

my name is kaitie. My boyfriend's name is eric. We're young and stupid.

I know there is a lot out there, i'm just scared. I wanna get the hell out of this house and into the real world but the real world is such a scary place. I've been in this sheltered (well kinda sheltered) place called high school and mom's house and this little town my whole life and now suddenly I have this whole world in front of me and I can do anything I want with it. I mean what if I do the wrong thing? The wrong college, the wrong guy, the wrong place? I know i'm young and I shouldnt worry about these things yet but I cant help it. I've always had to keep my eye on two feet in front of me and now I feel so behind. I feel like i'm twenty two and not even close to where I should be. And not even where I should be but where I want to be.
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nancyms
replied on July 4th, 2005
Experienced User
Katie, you'll be alright. When you filled out your fafsa did you choose what schools you wanted to go to. I would suggest to try it again online this time. Request a pin, that way you can do all transactions online. Add the schools of you choice even the one that had the deadlines for the applications. They are the ones that will send you information on financial aid. You will have to resend fafsa information if you do have a baby, because then you will have a dependent, or if you move out. Or if you get married. The first time my husband and I qualified for financial aide, was when we filed married, we were just common law at the time. There are many ways to qualify for it. Let me know if you have any questions. I can help, I have been through so much. I left my house my last semester in high school. It has been crazy since then, but we have been able to get ahead. We are now buying our house, and I have my own business and my husband has a good job. There is ways to get ahead even if you have a child. My sister had a baby right after she graduated high school, she was going to get her schooling for free.
Let me know what I can do to help.
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noodle
replied on July 4th, 2005
New User
What should I look for within the first week to two weeks of being pregnant. What are the signs, what should I watch out for. As far as discharge, is it a lot? Is it like goupy on the panties kind of discharge or here and there not a lot on the panties? How soon does that start? What about spotting, how soon? As far as veins in the breasts, are they little veins around the nipples or big veins that can or do not even go through the nipples? How do you tell if your breasts are getting bigger, I would swear my breasts get bigger everyday they're so annoying. How soon does that start? What if i'm not even pregnant at all? Id feel like such an fool for making such a big deal about it.

My boyfriend wants to have an abortion, he doesnt think we're ready nor would we produce a healthy baby. He wants to go with whatever I wanna do but i'm not sure. All this talking we've been doing and all this reading i've been doing almost has me excited. But I think i'm too young. I dont know if it would be better for me or harder on the baby. I dont know if there even is a baby. My boyfriend wants me to wait till he gets back to take a pregnancy test but its killing me to wait. At the same time I dont wanna take one and find out i'm pregnant with him states away. I just dont know what to do and waiting is a bad idea for me. But so is finding out the truth. I almost hope that I am pregnant but at the same time, if I am, i'll have no idea what to do. I still have the weird feeling in my lower abdomen/hip area. I told my mom about it but didnt say anything about pregnancy as i'm sure she thinks we arent having sex. She thinks I may be ovulating and thats what the feeling is, my eggs moving through my fallopian tubes. But for three or four days now?

I super hope youre online now though i'm sure youre not. I'll wait up a little, otherwise I hope to talk to you tomorrow

ps, my mom insisted on filling out my fafsa so I have no idea whats on it and its past the deadline to have it in so if I did need to refill it out, it wouldnt be good for this semester of college. Additionally, I dont really want to. In truth, my depression makes me think that id rather rot in my room then go to college and make something of myself.
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nancyms
replied on July 4th, 2005
Experienced User
Katie, school will help you alot. Please don't feel that you should rot in your room. If you are pregnant, please know that things happen for a reason. I won't think you are an fool for feeling pregnant right now, I have been there several times. I feel like I am pregnant then I get my period. My husband would literally kill me if he knew how much money I have spent on hpt's.

Usually the first symptoms you will get, are the full breast, discharge, (although you mom is right about the discharge and hurting in the lower abdomen being ovulation---that's how I know I am ovulating, but it did continue to hurt for several more days when I first got pregnant). Some women, me included say they have a flutter in there stomach, not the baby moving but probably the placenta forming or your uterus preparing itself. You may also feel nasea, but I believe that actually happens closer to 6 weeks after your last period, then the frequent urination also around the same time. I don't really remember about the veins in the breast--its probably different for every woman. Try searching babycenter.Com to see if I missed anything. I know alot about this because I want to be able to have a healthy pregnancy and know immediately when I am pregnant that way the Dr. Can keep an eye on me.

I really hope you bf if being supportive, he is right about it being your decision. Just remember that you have alot of options. Not just 2 choices. If you are pregnant don't do something you will later regret. If you want to take another hpt, I would suggest going to dollar tree, they have the $1 ones they and they are accurate.

Don't stress, I know exactly how you feel. We felt the same way during our first pregnancy, that one was an accident, but then both of us got used to the idea of me being pregnant and we loved it. Unfortunatley it didn't work out.

I know it is hard but try to relax, and go to www.Fafsa.Ed.Gov and redo your fafsa, I just submitted mine less then a week ago, and it's not too late. If you don't feel up to going this semester, then it will be ready for you for next. If you have any questions regarding that let me know. I have been through it all.


Ps. You aren't making a big deal.

Nancyms
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noodle
replied on July 5th, 2005
New User
I dont feel that I should rot in my room because of my possible pregnancy but because of everything. My whole life, I hate it. I'm always just so sad. I've never believed that things happen for a reason.

I dont know how to tell if my breasts are any bigger or if i'm just exagerating (sp?). As far as the discharge, which is very little currently, and lower abdomen pains, they've never happened before so i'm not sure. Abdomen has never happened before though discharge has. Though this time it has no smell. There isnt a lot of it, sometimes theres none and sometimes there is a little but I just started noticing it. Additionally, I have peed at least ten times today which is very, very unusual for me. I pee three times at the most on an average day. I havent noticed any fluttering though i'm not sure what that would feel like exactly. I am also naseaus and have head and backaches but im not sure if ive always had them. My head is literally throbbing.

My boyfriend is definately supportive. He will love and support me no matter what my final decision is (his exact words) but he thinks it would be better for us to have an abortion (because I would never be able to have and give away my baby). I know I will regret having an abortion or giving my baby up for adoption (i feel stupid refering to it as my baby because it may not even be there and I could just be being dramatic) and I know I would never regret (or admit to regretting) having my child. I dont know, i'm just so confused. I dont know what to think half of the time, whether I would regret it or not. I also have two more hpts with me though i'm not sure I wanna take them without my boyfriend in case I am pregnant because I would freak out and do something stupid or if i'm not pregnant because I may actually want this in which case id... Probably do something stupid.

I wont do the fafsa tonight, I think i'll actually wait till eric gets home and we see if i'm pregnant or not. Also, I still think i'm making this out to be more than it is...
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noodle
replied on July 5th, 2005
New User
So I went to one of those sites you told me to go to and into a chat room where all the women made fun of me for using "his head instead of mine".

Now i'm just in tears, where are you?
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nancyms
replied on July 5th, 2005
Experienced User
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry, which site did you got to? They were idiots. I am terribly sorry, let me know what site it was. I can't believe they did that to you. Let me know. I really don't understand why they would do something like that, crazy health forum.
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