About a year ago I started coming on the
internet, but not as me. I used a false
name, a false birthday, and a false
picture. I met a guy, and we instantly
clicked. We talked on the net every day,
and after a couple of months, we started
talking on the phone too. I started to
develop feelings for him, and vice versa.
I'm 16, and so is he. But he doesn't know
the real me. When I first started going
on the internet back then, I hated myself,
and suffered from extremely low self
esteem, and anxiety attacks. I still do.
But as a result of talking to him, it
isn't as bad as it was. My childhood, and
my personal problems are the only true
things he knows about me. We've discussed
meeting, and we'd both really like to
meet. But i'm plagued with guilt every
single day as to what i've done, he
doesn't deserve it, and I know it's beyond
disgusting. I want so much to tell him
the truth, but I know i'll lose him. Who
could forgive someone who lied to them
about everything? Any advice would be
greatly appreciated. Should I just tell
him?..
I don't know if i've posted this in the
right place, sorry if I haven't.
|
damsel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2005 Posts: 69 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Its Tough Babe Posted: 07-04-05 08:05am
Oh its tricky isn't it? Does he like who
he speaks to on the phone, and who he
e-mails? Or have you been lying there
too? Cos if he likes you on the phone and
e-mail hes bound to like you in the flesh.
In the long run, whats a false birthday?
I guess the picture could be an issue, but
if he only chats to you cos of a picture I
guess you've gotta ask your self if hes
worth it. I think you should break it to
him gently and soon or leave it as it is
now and if you dont plan on meeting, tell
him. I hope i've been of some help, but I
dont think its a mental condition-dont
worry! Well maybe the anxiety and low
self esteem part, but not your
relationship with this guy. Best of luck
and keep me filled in! Xoxo
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Empathy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jul 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 07-04-05 16:19pm
Hey, thanks for the reply. :)
yeah, he says he loves my personality, and
on the phone he is speaking to the real
me. But i'm still hiding behind a mask of
lies. I want him to know everything, but
I don't know if he'll understand why I did
lie in the first place, and if he doesn't,
then he'll probably never wanna talk to me
again. I need to tell him though, so I
guess i'm just going to have to do it.
|
down123
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 80
Posted: 07-04-05 17:39pm
Hey empathy,.....Update us on what has
happened! Keep us posted! :)
|
Empathy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jul 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 07-04-05 17:56pm
Hey, I will. :)
and thanks for the advice, it's helped a
lot.
|
damsel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2005 Posts: 69 Location: Melbourne, Australia
More Suggestions Posted: 07-04-05 19:14pm
Does he know your real name? At least if
you've told him that it would be easier to
explain the other lies, just say you did a
typo with your birthday and the picture
you could just say the truth, that you
dont feel or didn't feel very confident
about what you look like and that your
sorry you didn't trust him enough to
accept you for who you are...You never
know it might work :) I hope all goes
well, and I really wanna know whats going
on with you two. Keep me posted! :) xoxo
|
Empathy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jul 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 07-04-05 20:35pm
He doesn't know my real name, when I made
up all those lies I wanted to be anyone
but me, so I made up everything, I regret
it so much now though. I wish I had just
been honest with him from day one, then I
wouldn't be in this mess right now.
Thanks again, I will definitely keep you
posted. :)
|
Empathy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jul 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 07-13-05 20:56pm
Hey guys.
I told him, and he didn't get angry like I
thought he would, but he's saying he fell
in love with the girl in the picture, and
the girl he was talking to, me. Both of
us. He wants to talk to the real girl in
the picture, and I just don't know what to
do. I know what I did was very wrong, but
I feel heartbroken that he's interested in
her. I think maybe him and I should stop
talking...
|
damsel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2005 Posts: 69 Location: Melbourne, Australia
What a person He Is Posted: 07-14-05 07:23am
Puh-lease. How the hell can you fall
inlove with a picture? What a health
questions. I would expect him to be a bit
taken aback by it all. I mean anyone
would be, but in love with the girl in the
picture? That is so wrong, love has
nothing at all to do with looks, lust does
and alot of more shallow emotions, but not
love. I dont think you should stop
talking yet, maybe give him time but if he
continues to judge you about it and talks
about the girl in the picture dump him.
Hopefully all he is is upset and he'll get
over it, but you can never tell with guys.
Sometimes their small brain (aka penis)
takes over and you never know what they're
thinking, or how they're gonna act. I
hope all works out, and keep me in the
loop, ok? Xoxo
|
Empathy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jul 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 07-14-05 14:45pm
Hey, thanks for replying.
I said that to him. How can you fall in
love with a picture? I was the one he was
talking to for the past year, even if I
wasn't being my real self, I was me on the
phone, and I thought it was my personality
he liked, not the picture. I said sorry
for everything countless times, and he
says he understands why I did it, but he
kept asking me where I got the picture
from, and saying "i have to find that
girl, without talking to her I won't be
able to move on with my life." I never
expected this, I thought he'd hate me and
say we can't talk anymore, but not this.
In a way, I wish he'd said he doesn't want
anything to do with me, because this hurts
so much. I know I deserve it though,
after all, it was me that got myself into
this situation. I guess you could say
this is my punishment.
I'm also 16. I think i'm too young to
meet people over the web.
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damsel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2005 Posts: 69 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Hows It All Panning Out?? Posted: 07-22-05 06:12am
Hows it all going? Is he still being a
prick? If he keeps treating you like sh*t
I say you should take the higher ground
and move on. You seem like a really nice,
beautifyl chick, so dont ever be brought
down by him. Sure you shouldn't have
lied, and you know what you did was wrong,
isn't that punishment enough??? Keep
strong xoxo
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