Joined: 05 Jul 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Turlock , CA
So... Posted: 07-05-05 04:57am
Hi. My name is kayla, and i'm 22 years
old. I'm kind of nervous about this...So
bear with me.
I'm not happy with myself.
I used to be ok, and accepted how I
look.
But in the last 8 months, i've become
overly self concious.
I can't stop wishing I looked a different
way, wishing I could afford plastic
surgery, wishing I could lose a lot of
weight, wishing I was pretty, considering
diet pills, and I cannot stop looking in
the mirror hating how I look, i'm always
hungry, but only eat about 1 time a day,
and even then, I feel like puking it up.
I haven't gotten to that point yet,
vomitting, that is.
But I feel like this is quickly turning
into something very unhealthy.
I'm obsessed with my weight, and how I
look.
I feel helpless, and I don't know what to
do.
I don't want it to get out of control...
Can someone please help me?
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damsel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2005 Posts: 69 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted: 07-05-05 09:30am
I'm sorry for you, that you've come into
this horrible place. You sound like your
abit annorexic already, which isn't a
great sign. I hope you dont ever throw
up, becuase it really does take on a life
of its own. Some advice....Talk to
someone, anyone, it truly helps not having
to go through this alone. I really hope
you get out of this, i'm sorry I havn't
been much help, I guess i'm just not in
the right frame of mind...But I am
thinking of you, if that helps...And if
you ever need to chat or whatever pm me or
e-mail me, i'm a good listener...Even if I
cant follow my own advice all the time.
Lots of hugs xoxo
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SGD
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2005 Posts: 5
Posted: 07-06-05 22:03pm
Deleted
Last edited by SGD on 08-27-06 22:59pm; edited 1 time in total
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zbuttrflyzz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jul 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Turlock , CA
Thank You.. Posted: 07-07-05 02:26am
It means a lot that you both have taken
the time to post a response to this.
I'm scared right now.
I keep trying to pretend this isn't
happening to me, because this is unlike
me. I'm normally a strong person.
I'm not sure what to do. I've told 3
people that are close to me about it,
because I don't want to do this alone. I
can't.
I'm afraid that it's just going to keep
getting worse. Tonight, I almost ran to
the bathroom to throw up...
It's affecting me greatly.
I'm always hungry. I'm always tired. I
always feel rundown. I get headaches
frequently...My stomach is constantly in
knots.
I'm embarrassed about this.
I cannot afford to go to the Dr. For it
either. No insurance.
I feel like my mind is playing tricks on
me. Just as soon as I think I can beat
it, I give up...
Ah, I just don't know what to do.
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damsel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2005 Posts: 69 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted: 07-07-05 03:17am
I can tell you right now it doesn't get
any better, its just so hard. I'm not
recovered so I know where you are. You
know what you should check out, maybe they
have some ed support groups in your area,
often they're free or not nearly expensive
as seeing a doctor. I think its really
good that you've got a few close people to
talk to, I think it does make a difference
in the long run. Anytime you wanna throw
up or something like that, you could call
one of those people. I hope you can get
out of this...Admitting you have a problem
is a good sign! Again, if you ever, ever
need to vent about anything, pm me. Big
hugs to you! Xoxo
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metallee
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jul 2005 Posts: 38 Location: ohio
Hi Posted: 07-07-05 09:18am
Hello,
my name is pam, im 18. I know what your
going through. Im going through it too.
Im obsessed with diets, and my weight. Im
pretty overweight. I had weight quite a
bit, and decided to diet, and it got out
of hand, I wouldn't eat at times, and then
I got mad at myself for being hungery and
fat, so I would throw up my food I would
eat.
I got to the point where it was easy to
throw up. So whenever I would over eat I
got so mad and wanted to punish myself so
I would throw up over and over. I lost
over 50 pounds that way. Now im on a diet
again, and im trying slim fast, but I will
drink a slim fast shake then not eat again
the whole day, or after I would drink the
slim fast, I would throw it up, and it
would get to be a routine. And im sick of
it. Im sick of being so obsessed with
losing weight. Cause whenever I look into
the mirror all I see is fatness, and
uglyness, and I want to scatter the
mirror. I hate feeling this way as well,
its so lonely, im so empty inside. Now on
anti depressants to help me not think of
hurting myself, and to help me from
getting so low that I want to hurt myself,
and punish myself. There was times I
would punch myself in the stomic brusie
myself badly, then I would take a needle
and nick myself till I bleed. Its a
obsession that gets out of hand, goes way
too far, and over the edge. I suggest you
get help so you don't end up like me..
Your friend metallee
ps. Im here for you
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Jared
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jul 2005 Posts: 1 Location: NJ
Posted: 07-09-05 09:00am
It takes a lot of courage to reach out the
way you have. Fortunately, there are some
very generous people on this forum, such
as damsel.
I wanted to let you know that many
therapists will reduce their fee on a
sliding scale or may even see you 'pro
bono'. It is worth calling around to
those who specialize in this area.
