Why Won't He Just Leave Me Alone?? He's Driving Me Crazy.... Posted: 07-08-05 02:06am
I am so stressed out with my ex, it has
been almost 8 months since I finally got
him to leave, but he just won't leave me
alone. I am trying to move on, but not
into another relationship, I am just not
emotionally equipped to deal with the
emotional drama of an intimate
relationship.
He has not moved on either, and he has
told me that he has no intentions of
moving on because there is only one woman
for him. The five year that we were
together, I never got to know who he was,
I just learned to deal with his addictions
and his phony-ness in front of other
people. I tried and tried to make it
work, but I just couldn't do it anymore.
Now, here we are, he moved down the block
from me and is over almost everyday (we
have a son together) saying he just wants
to spend time with our son, but while he
is playing he stares at me. Sometimes I
fear that he will just snap, cause "they"
say it is the quiet ones you have to worry
about. I recently got him to admit that
he has thought of killing me. Why? To
help me understand the way he sometimes
looks at me when he thinks I can't see
him, and he told me that he thinks like
that sometimes because I gave him family,
love and security, and now it is all
gone...Literally.
How can I make him respect my wishes to
just leave us alone. I offered weekends
with his son, cause I work and my son goes
to daycare, and I don't even want child
support...I've been managing on my own all
these years (with him holding down the
couch in case of a tornado), and daycare
is a reliable source of care for my child.
Just recently I moved away from him,
again, and he is here everyday. I don't
want to get mad in front of my child
anymore, and he takes advantage of this by
staying until I have to physically oust
him . Do I have to move again, and not
tell him where I am going? Should I just
move far away? I don't want to run, but
I am tired of being too nice to him for
the sake of our son. I just want to be
happy, on my own terms, and he doesn't
want to give me the space to do so. How
can I get him to just leave me alone????
:?
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nelda
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 33 Location: canada
Posted: 10-27-05 20:42pm
What a terrible situation to be in. Could
you get a restraining order against him?
The restraining order would be registered
with the courts and he would be arrested
if he came around you.
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Pilleus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 10-28-05 06:43am
Gosh that's so terrible. Like nelda said
a restraining order would be a good thing,
but distance would be better. Especially
for your son. You sound like a
responsible and intelligent woman who can
take care of herself. Is there any
opportunity for a transfer with your
employer? Most companies will pay the
moving expenses.
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Jennifer23
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2005 Posts: 76 Location: Texas
Posted: 10-29-05 08:51am
Maybe you should move to a different place
and cover your tracks so he can't figure
out where you live. Then, when it's time
for him to see y'alls child, you can meet
in a public place, like a restaurant or
something (so there's no chance of
anything happening since you guys won't be
alone).
I mean, is he a good father to your son?
If he is, then you don't want to take him
away from your son because it could hurt
him in the future. But, if he's not
really being a good father then it may be
the best thing for your son. Know what I
mean, jellybean?
If all else fails, then I would suggest
getting a restraining order like nelda and
pilleus said. You have to put you and
your son first!
Good luck! I wish you all the best :-)
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lovinmom4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 37
Be Careful Posted: 11-08-05 08:29am
First of all, if he has admitted thoughts
of killing you, I would be extemely
careful. Do not take this lightly. Go to
the police, an attorney, someone and let
them know about his thoughts of killing
you. I do think a restraining order is
what you need. He should only be allowed
what the courts say he is allowed when it
comes to visitation.....And it certainly
is not every day. Your child will
probably not be allowed around him if the
courts knew of is "killing thoughts". Do
something about it, dont wait. It happens
all the time. Best of luck to you and
your child.
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shanti1
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2004 Posts: 87
Speak to a Counselor At a Women's Shelter For Free Advice Posted: 11-13-05 15:54pm
Sounds like you got great advice from
these intelligent people that just posted
here. You do seem intelligent, have self
esteem, independent, working, trying to
include the father in your child's life.
Bless you heart!!!
I would suggest contacting a shelter for
abused women,children
for a threat like that is abuse,
or some organization in your area like
that, in terms of talking to a counselor
there for free, in regards on what to do
and getting some emotional support.
Best wishes!
