I've recently began having sex with my
boyfriend. We were both virgins. It
hurt very bad the first time but I didn't
bleed until the second time. Every time
we have sex it hurts like i'm still a
virgin. Is it normal for it to still
hurt? I know every woman is different,
but is there any way to know when sex will
stop being painful? I'm almost
discouraged to have sex because I know
it's going to hurt and I know won't orgasm
because of the pain. We tried using more
and more lube and it helps a little but
not much. Are there other ways to reduce
the pain? Or is this something I just
have to wait out?
Responses are very much appreciated.
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Pilleus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-11-05 11:14am
I remember (way back when) the first two
times hurt very much but it felt better
the 3rd time. My first guy was very big
too. Probably 9+ inches.
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snownix
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jul 2005 Posts: 21
Posted: 07-11-05 14:12pm
I'm still a virgin myself, but obviously
it's gonna hurt the first few times, my
friends say it hurts until after the first
5-6 times trying it... Why not just
first try foreplay to get more
lubrication? It would seem easier that
if you made him use a smaller dildo or
fingers on you to get you more loose, and
gradually increase in size to where it
fits him
Last edited by snownix on 07-11-05 16:29pm; edited 1 time in total
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x0x011
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jul 2005 Posts: 294 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-11-05 15:11pm
The first time I had sex it only hurt for
the first maybe 10 mintues, then after it
was fine and never hurt again. It all
depends on how relaxed you are when it is
happening. If you are nervous you tend to
clench up the muscles down there making it
tighter for him to get into. Just make
sure you relax. Foreplay helps in
relaxation as well as getting you
lubricated. Some girls say that it hurts
less if you have used tampons a lot before
losing your virginity as well. Also when
you are just starting out, wait a few days
to a week before having sex again. That
way your vagina can "heal" up for a couple
of days. When you have sex too soon after
its re-stretching it making it hurt even
more.
Hope this helps
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steph8992
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jul 2005 Posts: 4
Posted: 07-11-05 18:11pm
I think its perfectly normal. The first
about six times I had sex it hurt. Not
enough to be crying or anything, but too
much pain to orgasm for sure, and it hurt
to move around afterwards. But the pain
gradually decreased and made it so that it
was fun. Don't wait to long before having
sex again because then it will be almost
like starting out from the beginning
again. Hope this helps, steph
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ashes
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2004 Posts: 62
Posted: 07-12-05 01:13am
Thanks for the replies! I told him I
want to do more foreplay next time to see
if that helps. We always use a lot of
lube but it gets sticky and makes it
worse. It's ky, any suggestions as to
what lubes are better?
We usually have to wait a week before
having sex again because we only get to on
the weekends. Like steph8992 said, it's
like starting from the beginning again.
I think I might try snownix's dildo idea
when we don't have sex, so that when we
do, it might not hurt as much.
Thanks again for replying!
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* cheryl *
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jun 2005 Posts: 38
Hey Posted: 07-23-05 10:53am
Hey,
the best lube in my opinion is tlc. Its
great! Lol. Honestly, its just right,
not too slippy where ur sliding off! Just
perfect. :)
cheryl x
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dreamerin2003
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2005 Posts: 13 Location: TX
Posted: 07-26-05 01:14am
I was in a similar situation, we would
have sex so infrequently, that when we did
get around to it, it just hurt, then,
later I got used to the sex, but
afterwords I would be so sore! Take a hot
back or shower right afterwards to help
ease the pain, trim your pubic hairs, that
helps,and dont worry! The pain will
eventually stop.
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Glamorgirli
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 193 Location: Michigan
Posted: 07-26-05 01:25am
It might hurt if your tensing up during
sex. And if your discouraged and tense
your never gonig to have an orgasm and is
always going to hurt! Just lay back relax
and enjoy, and experiment with different
positons that make it better and more
comfortable for you! Girl on top is
usually a great
positon works every time! As for lube, ky
always makes me itch and gave me an
infection down there. My advice just have
more foreplay plus its more fun!
It hurt like the first 10 times I had sex!
But it gets way better, I promise. Just
use lube (waterbased only. I like ky
liquid. Works a lot better than the
jelly) and relax. Remember to breathe.
It's when you get all tense that it really
starts to hurt. Also remember...
Foreplay! And lots of it! Lol
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BonnieH
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Posts: 54 Location: North Carolina
Posted: 07-26-05 18:41pm
I think its great that yall were both
virgins that doesn't happen much these
days.
Sex will get better. You will start to
enjoy it. It is painful at first
though.
I know its hard to believe, but I had a
rocky start at first too, but now I find
it extremely pleasurable.
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BonnieH
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Posts: 54 Location: North Carolina
Posted: 07-26-05 18:43pm
You just gotta relax too. Doesn't matter
if you are a virgin or not if you are
tense when it goes in its gonna be a lil
painful. Just relax and it will start to
feel better. Oh yea and foreplay will
get you worked up and will also make sex
more enjoyable and less painful.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-26-05 20:07pm
Lots of foreplay! Besides, foreplay is
fun!
I don't know; I guess I was just very
relaxed with my bf the first time I had
sex with him (and he's not tiny, either!).
I didn't make any noise, actually... But
that's becuase there were 2 clueless
people sleeping in the room 0.O heheh xd
i guess I feel a little pain, but just as
he's geting inside of me, once that's done
it doesn't hurt; and even then the pain
isn't that bad. Maybe my tolerance for
pain is just really high, or I guess I
like it or somehting...
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