This might sound ridiculous, but I am
totally threatened by this girl my
boyfriend is always talking to on the
internet chat. They've known each other
for ages and have a lot in common, so
they're good friends, but I don't really
know anything else. I just feel like it
might be a control issue, but every time
he mentions her name or I secretly find
out he's talking to her, I feel like going
crazy. Really, I feel like smashing
anything and everything and it takes a lot
for me to keep myself under control.
I've told him i'm jealous but there
doesn't seem like much else I can do.
Any advice?
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Crystal1111
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jul 2005 Posts: 102 Location: Florida
Jealousy Posted: 07-14-05 08:16am
I'm in the same boat. My boyfriend is in
regular contact with his ex and it makes
me crazy sometimes, especially because she
is quite an attractive girl. I wish he
would cut ties with her, but he insists
that it is just friendship. He also has
other female friends, though some have
been past crushes. I have male friends
and am in regular contact with some ex's.
He doesn't seem to care about that. So,
maybe we shouldn't care. I know for me,
it's a self-esteem issue. I have a
pretty low self-esteem, even though i'm
successful and attractive also. I'm sure
you're a great person too, so let's focus
on that. Improving ourselves. Jealousy
can be consuming and overwhelming. Have
you confronted him with your discomfort?
If so, how does he react?
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silver_tigress
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jun 2005 Posts: 15 Location: Australia
Confrontation Posted: 07-14-05 18:04pm
I have confronted him, told him straight
out that it makes me feel like crap to
know that he's talking to her again, but
he just told me not to worry so much, that
he loves me, she's just a friend, all that
stuff. I still can't get over it though.
Haha I feel so pathetic!
I'll tell you something that happened last
night though. He was talking about her
while we were making dinner, how it's her
19th birthday party next weekend (23rd)
and she invited him. He mentioned
something about her being very mature for
her age, being just one year older than
me... And I was straight away like
"what?! Hello, i'm turning 19 on the
31st... She's a week older than me"
what's the deal with that? Like he was
too preoccupied thinking about her or
something.
This might be branching out from my severe
depression at the moment, I don't know,
but I just feel so threatened. It's
kinda of like, I trust him, but I don't
trust them, and then if it goes far enough
I don't know if I trust him not to be
tempted. We went through something
really hard on our relationship about a
year and a half ago but when we came
through it we promised each other complete
honesty. I have totally respected this
pact because I learned the hard way, but I
have "accidentally" found photos and such
of other girls on his computer who he
never told me about beforehand... He's so
secretive. It seems he expects complete
honesty from me but him, he can do
whatever he likes. Ok, rambling now...
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asdfjkl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2005 Posts: 41 Location: British Columbia
Posted: 07-14-05 20:39pm
Im not a huge fan of ex's sticking around
and using the "were just friends" line..
What it means to me is "im going to still
be your friend so when somthing happens
between you and your bf/gf I can jump
right back in there"both me and my
girlfriend have cut ties with our ex's for
eachother. Ya they still try and contact
us but its for our/their own good
