Joined: 05 Jul 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Turlock , CA
I'm Back. Posted: 07-16-05 02:50am
I posted a couple of weeks ago.
And i'm still just as lost as I was
then.
This is getting worse daily.
I never thought I would be depressed.
I never thought that what is happening to
me right now, would ever happen.
I don't eat. And I still want to throw up
when I do.
I haven't yet.
I feel so unhealthy.
I feel like I have an ulcer. My stomach
is in knots constantly.
My life seems to keep filling up with
stress.
I'm still in love with my ex from a year
ago, my uncle just died, I have failed
my emt test 2 times now, I have no money-3
dollars to my name, my car insurance is
due, and my regisration is late, i'm 22
living with my aunt and uncle, I don't
have a job...
I feel like I have nothing worth living
for.
And most of all, I feel helpless and alone
in this fight.
I've told people, but...I feel like i'm
burdening others with my problems.
I can't run from this stuff anymore.
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poetmcc
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 273
Hi Posted: 07-22-05 08:48am
Hey how are you? I am so sorry to hear
all you are going through. You seem to
have problems that you cannot deal with
alone. Your aunt and uncle would be a
good start, seeing you live with them.
Ask them if they can help you find a
job...That would really boost your self-
confidence. Working gives you a sense of
independence...
You are not burdening other people by
asking for help, I know how you feel, I
feel this way too and that's why I often
keep my problmes to myself...How about
talking to a counselor or a Dr. They can
help you so much. Tell your aunt and
uncle that you have a problem and that you
need help. If they care enough about you
to let you stay with them, they will
surely understand.
And never give up hope. I know that
probably makes you mad right now, but its
really a rule of life that helps.
Your not eating sounds like a beginning to
anorexia/ bulimia. This is alike a
downward psiral, oncer you start, you go
down and down and in the end it is just so
hard to face the world again. I
undertsand why you are doing this...Let me
guess...Because you feel like you have no
independence, you are taking control of
food, because you feel that that is the
one thing you are in control of...But soon
the ed will control you and you will feel
even more lost.
I know all this stuff is what people
already told you but I hope I am getting
the message to you.
If you ever want to just pm me, I am there
for you....I am only 16, much younger but
if I can help by talking, feel free to
e-mail me. Most of all take care of
yourself. Have you ever heard "god
doesn't make junk" ? Well it is true, you
have a purpose in life and you will find
it.
You feel that this is the way the rest of
yourlife is going to be and it is not!
This is just a phase and it will phase.
Things get worse before they get better.
By posting on the forums, there is a spark
in you that wants to live your life. Hold
on to that sprak and you will get
through.
Take care and keep me posted on how you
are doing. :)
