Wanting a Girl You Cant Have (cuz Distance Separates You) Posted: 07-17-05 19:33pm
Ok, im new and didnt know where to post
this so I put it here.
I have a really strange problem that I
dont know what to do about so I wanted to
see if I could get some advice: every
year my friends and family all go on
vacation for a week to the same spot at
the same time each year. The past two
years there has been a girl there that I
cannot get over. She is the definition
of my dream girl, looks and personality
wise. Both times we have done nothing
more than talked minimally and traded
looks and smiles with each other for the
entire week. I am attracted to her and
I know she is attracted to me but there is
a big problem. The reason I havent
approached her is because she lives about
7 hours away in a different state. I
have been in the situation before where
ive met a girl on a trip and we fell for
each other and planned on seeing each
other when we got home but ended up never
seeing each other again, and that really
hurt. So when I see this girl for the
week each year I hold it in and prevent
myself from trying to get anywhere with
her as to spare myself the pain that I
have been through in this situation in the
past. Yet, when I get home all I can
think about is her and how she makes me
feel like no woman has ever made me feel
before, like I know she would be perfect
for me.
My question is when I see her next year
should I (assuming I dont find someone
else) forget about what happened in the
past and see if this could work and
approach her, or just forget about it and
spare myself the pain of a failed long
distance relationship.
Any help is greatly appreciated.
Last edited by warned05 on 07-18-05 19:45pm; edited 1 time in total
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Charming
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 5 Location: MD
Posted: 07-18-05 02:25am
Bro, I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but
you should carry on with your life and
stop wasting precious moments thinking
about this girl. If its meant to be,
it'll be. Enjoy dating another females
and having fun with your friends. When
you see her next trip, just think of her
as a bonus to your vacation. Cherish your
moments with her. If you feel like
telling her how you feel next time you see
you then tell her. Just don't tell her in
a way that come across like your
completely obsessive or desperate for her.
Do you have her number or do you two only
converse with each other during your
vacation time?
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warned05
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jul 2005 Posts: 6 Location: MI
Posted: 07-18-05 19:44pm
Hey, thanks for the help. I may have
given the wrong impression from my 1st
post. Its not that I obsess over this
girl its just that I think what if im
passing up a great opportunity because im
being selfish. I dont know, its
complicated and I dont know what to do. I
dont have her number because I never let
myself get that involved, more like
flirting for a week then "bye, see ya in a
year". I basically dont know if its worth
pursuing something that I know will be a
long distance thing after having been
through that before, part of me says its
not worth it but part of me says you could
be passing up on the right one.
Its wierd, each year I see this girl and
she's in the same position each time, no
bf ever and constantly showing interest in
me. If someone has been in a long
distance relationship that could tell me
if I should just keep blowing it off or
take a chance with it that would help a
lot.
Sorry if this is stupid, I think it is,
but I just honestly have no clue what to
do with this.
Thanks
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Charming
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 5 Location: MD
Posted: 07-19-05 01:24am
I've been in a long distance relation. 1
1/2 hours away, if you consider that long.
Far enough for me. But 7 hours away?
Thats rediculous in my book depending on
how old you are. How old are you btw?
I'm 20, so i'm just gonna assume your
younger than me. If not, then correct me.
If my assumption is right and I were you;
the next time I see this girl, I would
tell her how I feel, but not make it too
dramatic. I'll tell her that I feel a
connection with her. (i always assume a
female likes me until she says other
wise).
If she's interested also, the feelings
would be mutual. Girls rarely make the
advancement or pursue a guy. That's our
job. So you won't know until you try. If
she interested, then she's waiting on you
to follow up. Now if the feeling is
mutual, then get her contacts (number,
email, etc). But then that leaves you to
just phone boning, all year round, which I
hate. All in all, i'll tell her how I
feel just to see if the feelings are
mutual, but I wouldn't take it past
friendship level. Besides, if you two
actually do stay in contact for long
while(1yr or more) just by phone and
email, without getting bored of each
other, then I would say its worther
persuing and you'll gain a great best
friend in addition.
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warned05
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jul 2005 Posts: 6 Location: MI
Posted: 07-19-05 18:32pm
Hey charming. Im 21 actually. The
problem isnt that I need to see if she's
interested in me because its pretty
obvious that she is. The problem is I
dont let myself pursue her because of the
experience I had before. I can tell she
wants me to make a move but I just dont
let myself do it. At the time I tell
myself to fight the urge and just get over
it, but once its over I look back and
wonder if I made a mistake.
I guess its kinda like seeing an old
friend that you know wants you but you
never really do anything about it, not
becuase I dont want her but becuase im
thinking about the consequences of what
might happen.
Im just wondering if I should just throw
those aprehensions out the window and go
for it.
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angelicaforever
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 12 Location: hayward
Long Distance Love Wors But It''s Hinged On You! Posted: 07-20-05 03:32am
Do long distance relationship work?
Long ago when I was 14 I
would have not believed in this
"long distance relationship"and
now it is just too late to repent
and remorse this relationship
because I have a great affection
for my boyfriend.
The story unexpectedly my beloved
grandfather died on august 6th, 2003 and
so all of my family had catched the
nearest flight to guadalajara, mexico and
from there drive to our ranch. It was a
great loss for all of our family when my
grandpa died and because so much we
respected him, we couldn’t go out to
parties, clubs, or anything; that would be
considered unpoliced and brutal. I stayed
home all day, everyday for 2 weeks just
locked in there with my cousins and for a
forget and to loose all this sorrow and
torment and truly hell that we had, we
were curious to know what was fun all
about in that small ranch so we headed
down to the plaza where all the events
happen. There were guys that approached
me, walking up to me like they knew me,
and from all of them raul was truly devine
in every way. Many guys tried talking to
me and asking me questions and that just
bothered me because I was not like that
nor did I wanted a long distance
relationship. But when I met raul, it had
all changed and I had changed and I had
hold anything possible. I didn’t get to
talk to him ever because I had to leave to
the u.S. The next day early in the
morning.
Then I went back on december of 2003 and I
wanted to take advantage of time and place
unfortunately I couldn’t because I have
3 older overprotective brothers and of
course my father which they didn’t let
me date. We had left a week earlier than
expected when my family had found out
about raul.
Anything is possible and nothing was going
to stop me. We kept in contact over the
internet and over the phone and he had
asked me out the week after I arrived to
u.S. My boyfriend and I have been going
out since january 7, 2004 and it has been
more of me bringing in this relationship
love, trust, communication, and
encouragement through the good times and
the bad times. I did have doubts that he
cheated on me but I taught that I was
going to find out sooner or later. If he
had ever cheated on me without me knowing,
it was ok because I can’t do anything
about it and if he was being faithful he
was being grateful. I believed in myself
and in him and I knew that there were 4
bases to prolong this relationship; love,
trust, communication, and encouragement
through the good times and the bad times.
It was not like I wanted to date anybody
else or like I needed a boyfriend anyways.
I didn’t know what was love and with
him I learned the definition of love, but
did i? I was confused because I didn’t
understand how I discovered love on the
phone and on the internet when we barely
saw each other. I know I truly love him
because you don’t necessarily need to
look at the person you love right in the
eye everyday to love. I talked to him and
his personality astonished me everyday and
I have 8 months doing the l.D.R. He
actually came to visit me last month to
santa cruz and that gave us a chance to
fill up and love each other even more.
Being together brought us even closer than
we already were. I believe that long
distance relatonships work because min is
working and I hate it when I listen to my
fiends storied that thye brake up with
their boyfiends just cause they are far
away, that is just pathetic and it is
obvious that they are playing around. I
am serous of my relationship and I will
with my future ones. L.D.R do work it is
just hinged on who and your partner feel
and how you are planning to keep in touch.