Single Parents Forum - 19 Single With Twins


19 Single With Twins

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Mommy_2_b

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19 Single With Twins Posted: 11-19-03 11:45am


Hey guys, I just wanted to know how any of you got through raising your children being a single parent. Male or female I dont care I just need some opinions and stuff. Im 19 and 20 weeks pregnant with twins. I was supposed to get married a week or so ago but my "husband to be" called from cuba with another girl. Now im raising my little miracles on my own, I have raised my little brother since he was 9 and I was 14. So for 5 years now. I was just hoping on some ideas on how to deal with all this. Thanks so much! Melissa

Suzy

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Posted: 11-24-03 21:50pm


Hey melissa, i actually have a 13 year old daughter, I had her when I was 16 and her father ran off when he found out I was pregnant. So I raised her all by myself, my parents were always helpful but they wanted me to get my own place because with both of them running a fulltime landscaping business, they didn't really feel that they could cope with a baby in the house. So I got my own place and lived by myself. Mum always came over to visit everyday to make sure I was ok. One mistake I feel I made was that I didn't have enough contact with others. I had no friends, I never went anywhere and I always felt kinda down. I really feel now that if I had of joined some kind of mothers club or something of the sort, that maybe I could have kept my spirits up. Raising a child alone I found was incredibly difficult, having someone else to share the load with would have been a hell of a lot easier i'm sure. But...Me and my little girl battled through and finally we have made it. She is now 13, i'm 29 and she is in high school now, and such a well balanced little girl. She is doing so well at school, her grades are great and she has more friends than i've had hot meals. I think the main thing is to just love and support them, even when the going gets real tough, be strong for them and let them know that everything is going to be just fine because they can rely on mum to take care of it. With an attitude like that, it empowered me to do my best, and some how I always pulled through and everything was ok. I'm now married to a beautiful man who I love more than life itself. He treats me and my daughter better than we've ever been treated by anyone ever before. I am now 4 months pregnant after having a miscarriage in may, so we are very excited about the arrival of our bubby next year. Hang in there melissa, it is going to be one hell of a ride for you and your precious little toddlers. Be strong, keep your chin up at all times, because you know dam well in yourself, you can do this. And trust me, you can ! You are going to feel so proud of yourself when the little tackers are off to school each day with their little carry bags on their backs, walking off together with a big smile on their faces and waving "bye mummy" as you drive off in the car. Not forgetting when they are all grown up and recieving their graduations, and they turn around and say "we couldn't have done it without our mum". Forget that mooron who ran off with the cuban bimbo, he is not worth your time. And believe me there are more of him out there to, so you are going to have to be extra special careful not to let some other drongo take you for a ride. You will have 2 beautiful little bubby's to protect aswell, and you sure don't need some time waster messing with their innocent little heads. Take care melissa, I wish you all the best, you are going to be great ! Suzy good luck

Mommy_2_b

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Posted: 12-21-03 21:08pm


Thank you for the support suzy! Im sorry it took me so long to get back on track to ya but i've been a little busy. I have a wonderful man living with me, we grew up together and hes always been around for me, and through high school he was always trying to ask me out. He moved in a week ago or so, and is being a darling, we thought about this for a long long time. So it wasn't rushed or anything. And he loves the twins as much as if they were his own, and they arent even born yet :d anyway thank you again. Much love melissa

Suzy

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Posted: 12-22-03 05:45am


Good for you melissa, i'm sure everything will work out sweet for you, and you are going to be a great mum. Have a great christmas. Suzy

Mommy_2_b

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Posted: 12-22-03 10:55am


Merry christmas to you too suzy!

koa

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Hello Posted: 08-17-06 16:20pm


I just came across your message and I was curious to know how you and your twins are doing? I just had a baby last october and I am recently a single mom and I am doing things on my own its tough but I do have family support...I hope everything is going well for you!

felian

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Single Mom With Twin Girls Posted: 09-21-06 04:11am


Hi melissa, I just saw your posting now. Your babies must be about 3 now. I have two girls, 28 months old. My heart went out to you when I read your message. I just left my husband who I caught cheating on me for the second time. I have been living with my parents but I struggle to get my finances together and to have a place of my own. I am happy you have someone and I hope it is working out. I would love to keep in touch to see how you are coping with your twins. :d

ma_ja

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Mother of Twins With Cheating Husband Posted: 09-23-06 14:43pm


My twins are 16 weeks old, and my husband told me 4 weeks ago that he was having an affair. Although we are now seeking marriage counselling, he is still continuing to see this other woman. I don't quite know how to go forward with this, am terrified of raising these babies on my own, especially when they are difficult (like tonight because of teething). I thought I knew him and that he would never do something like this to me, but obviously I was very wrong. He does come and help most evenings, but tonight he isn't and I am sure this is because he is spending it with her. I feel so hurt, jealous and angry all the time, but can't really break down because my babies need me. My whole life has been turned upside down - for the last 11 years I have been with my husband, and now suddenly I am all on my own every evening, I miss being touched and held by someone and feel very low. A part of me wants to just file for a divorce to end this torture, but another part of me can't quite let go and keeps on hoping that things will go back to how they were even though I know that this will never happen. I am also getting so many mixed messages from him, on the one hand he says that he doesn't know whether he wants to be with me for the rest of his life, but then he is so keen for the counselling and keeps on bringing me chocolates, flowers, etc. Almost as if he is courting me. But then maybe that is just the guilt, or he's trying to keep things civil between us so that he can have as much access to his children as he wants. I have many supportive friends, but worry that everyone is getting fed up with me and my problems. Can anyone share there thoughts or experiences?

louixx

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Posted: 04-12-07 05:15am


hi there melissa I fell pregnant at 18 and was 19 when I had my lovely little girl and was left all on my own to rise her dont get me wrong there will be great times and there will be hard times but when you look at there little faces when there fast a sleep at the end of the day you no that thats what keeps you going the love for them now 12 years on im happly married with a couple more kids and have never been happier and looking at my daughter who is well behaved good manered and lovely i know that that is down to me. wish you all the luck for the future and have fun with them.

Nafisah

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Single Mom Raising 11 Month Old Posted: 10-12-07 21:02pm


Just wanted some advise from the single moms out there. I am 25 years old and raising my daughter alone. I work Fulltime as a nurse and my mom keeps the baby for me while I am working, but other than work I have no outside life. I feel depressed MOST of the time due to my weight gain, no social life and no time away from my baby unless I am at work. It is very overwhelming and fustrating. Me and her dad never really was a committed couple and when I told him I was pregnant...well thats anther story. I am tired of feeling down and out and I don't want to take it out on my child. All of my friends have children,but they also have sitters. I dont feel comfortable leaving her with just anyone and the people I do feel comfortable with are busy with their own lives. I just need some kind of suggestions, some words of encouragment.