Abortion Debate Forum - Miscarriage
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Miscarriage

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mum2beee

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 99
Miscarriage
Posted: 07-20-05 10:45am

I've had a miscarriage back in feb. I fell pregnant again had a scan on my 7th week and the little heart beat was there on the screen beating away. I went for my 2nd scan yesterday should of been about 9-10 weeks. She put the vaginal scan inside of me and went silent... And said that she is very sorry but the baby has no heart beat. I was hysterical I couldn't stop crying.. I still can't. I've had what they call a silent miscarriage, I haven't had any pains or blood and I had the option of letting it come out naturally or go for a d&c which I have chosen and its this friday. I still have sore boobs and I can't believe its dead and inside of me. I feel so down. People who get the chance to have their baby are so lucky I would of loved to of had the chance to of been a good mum to my baby but it gets taken away just like that. People who have an abortion give up something so special that I wish I hadn't lost.
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paganangel

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Posts: 377
Location: VA

Posted: 07-20-05 17:15pm

Mom2bee-i'm very sorry for you loss.

Don't mind pcforme he/she is the resident troll.

Anyway welcome
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lil_blaze2004

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Joined: 29 Oct 2004
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Posted: 07-20-05 18:16pm

Sheesh no one's posted here in so long and once again it's an argument.

Pcforme she didn't say anything about how others should gestate to please her.
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sandyallen

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Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4580
Mum2beee
Posted: 07-20-05 19:37pm

I am very sorry to hear of your loss, please give yourself time to heal both in body and in mind and spirit a lot of us have been there where you are at and do understand totally what you are going through, sometimes things happens for reasons that we will never understand why but we have to have to keep moving on.


If you feel like you need help, talk to the dr friday, their is a lot of help out their for you, do not be shy, just ask.
Welcome here also.

Please remember that all females are not made out to be good moms.
It is not always special to some , there is a lot of abuse and neglect in this world, for example look at the so called mother that drown her kids and that is just one example, there is a whole heck of a lot more I work with abused and neglected kids, believe me, it is really sad out there.
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fatfamily02

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Joined: 20 Jul 2005
Posts: 3050
Location: Georgia, USA
Miscarriage
Posted: 07-21-05 08:19am

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is a very hard time for most woman. I back in the fertile years miscarried 6 and I sure know how you feel. I do not believe in abortions so just ignore those who love self more than the baby--or even more than god.

I do love god and believe all things work to the good for those who love him, and who are called according to his purpose. All his children are called for his purpose.

I remember many yeaars after my miscarriages--seeing my children in a vision. They were looking over something like a theatre balcony and they were all differnt ages, all cheering me on. "you can do it mom"
that was a comfort to me then, and still is a comfort to me now. God says those who overcome will be with him in heaven, we have to overcome the things in this life to get to the next plane of existance--there you go for all the hard times!! You can and will overcome--i know it might not feel like it right now. I believe he will give back to us all the things we have had stolen from us. That is why I am anxiously awaiting "a miracle baby" since I had a partial hysterectomy in 1986.


God bless to all even the self lovers
me
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mum2beee

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 99

Posted: 07-21-05 09:03am

Yeah thats what I wrote..
'people who have an abortion give up something so special that I wish I hadn't lost'
i know people who have had an abortion and that is totally up to them, but I don't seem to even get the chance to carry a baby full term.

I'm not saying what ever pcforme was comming out with. Just saying mine was an accident but I still would love to be pregnant, actually i'ld give anything to still be pregnant but when I think my life is getting better I just get knocked back down again.

The worst thing is waiting around for tomorrow morning, going under general anastetic (sp?) and waking up knowing that its all gone because at the moment I know its still inside of me.
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mum2beee

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 99

Posted: 07-21-05 09:10am

Thanks for most replys by the way, I do feel down but I got to keep my head up and just try again when we feel ready.

Fatfamily02 I wish you all the luck in the world hun, and the vision you have of the theatre balcony will encourage you more.. Just don't give up on trying to get what you want because you sound like you deserve it more than anyone I know!
Xxx
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amie

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2005
Posts: 6

Posted: 07-21-05 14:54pm

Hey mum2bee. Im very sorry to hear about your loss!

Im almost 18 and my mum misscarried 3 boys, before "taking a break from trying" in which time she fell pregnant with me. I was then born 10 weeks prematurley and was in intensive care for 9 weeks.

So please, take time to heal, but dont give up hope-miracles can happen-im 18 and healthy and living proof that they occur.

I pray that god moves close to you and wish you all the luck in the world, you sound like you will make a great mum!

Ps: I dont agree with abortion, becasue not so long before I was born and survived, I could have been aborted-and to know that as a happy, healthy 18 year old, I cant imagine anything worse. People are entitled to their own opinions and I know that the decision must be very tough-but I feel that when so many people do misscarry, thats its a shame each time a possible miracle is lost!
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sandyallen

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Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4580

Posted: 07-21-05 15:46pm

You will be o.K. In time. He is good to those that waits. Be thankful you are going to be givin general anesthesia in my time after three miscarriages, I received nothing with three of them and I realize it will still be difficult with one or two.

Please, try to understand, their is some difference in a miscarriage and an abortion, and their are times when even an abortion is necessary and try not to judge those that do need one.

I wish you the best keep us posted if you would like to, as said before by most of us you are welcome here if you would like to talk about it. We are here for you.


Last edited by sandyallen on 07-21-05 16:33pm; edited 1 time in total
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mum2beee

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 99

Posted: 07-21-05 15:48pm

Hey thanks for your kind words. I'm healthy and the doctor said there is no reason why I couldn't go onto having a healthy pregnancy, maybe i'm the same and can't carry a certain sex.
I think well I hope that I will make a great mum I do love kids.
Got to go into hospital tomorrow I know I wont be able to sleep tonight i'm quite scared.
Glad you wasn't aborted you seem like a really nice girl and would make a great mate caring and willing to listen and help with problems. X
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sandyallen

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Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4580

Posted: 07-21-05 15:49pm

You will be o.K. In time. He is good to those that waits. Be thankful you are going to be givin general anesthesia in my time after four. Miscarriages, I received nothing with four of them and I realize it will still be difficult with one or two.
Please, try to understand, their is some difference in a miscarriage and an abortion, and their are times when even an abortion is necessary and try not to judge those that do need one.
I wish you the best keep us posted if you would like to, as said before by most of us you are welcome here if you would like to talk about it. We are here for you.
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mum2beee

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 99

Posted: 07-21-05 16:00pm

Oh thats horrible not being able to go under general anastetic (sp?) do you have children now if you don't mind me asking? I have a friend who had an abortion and it was the best option for her, her life was terrible before she got pregnant I really felt for her she is one of my best mates. But then I know another girl (we fell out ages ago over something) and she was planning for a baby she came off the pill. She got pregnant and decided she didn't want it and had an abortion and to me thats wrong it wasn't an accident that was well and truely planned. Altho i'm not totally against abortions.
Thank you for being kind I will let you know how tomorrow goes. X
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paganangel

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Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Posts: 377
Location: VA

Posted: 07-22-05 11:56am

Did you not read her post pcforme?

She is replying to sandyallen by saying that it was horrible that she wasn't able to have an anestetic.

Think before you post.
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sandyallen

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Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4580

Posted: 07-23-05 16:29pm

It is generally between the patient and the dr but more so the pt. Things are done a lot differently now then what they used to be.
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PhillyCheeseHead

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 34
Location: Pennsylvania

Posted: 07-24-05 02:11am

I learned in health class last year never to say "you can always have another one." because parents wanted that one.

However my mom had a miscarriage a few years before I was born. She said that it was really hard. They already had plans for him, planned out names and such.

However if he would have been born I would not be here. My parents said at the time it was the worst thing that had ever happend to them. But looking back they said they wouldn't trade me for anyone else.

Of course that was 19 years ago, and you are just going through this now.

I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason.

I'm only a teen, I recomend you get help from a professional.
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mum2beee

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 99

Posted: 07-25-05 10:36am

Pcforme.. Yes I do know what a miscarriage is.. Well I should know i've had 2 now. I could of gone without anestetic and let it come out naturally. But as I had all the pain and blood the first time round when I lost one in feb I didn't want all that again.

I had the d&c done friday had to be there for 7:30 but didn't get taken down will 12 so it made it harder sitting in the hospital waiting for my name to be called... When I finally got taken down the woman/girl that was part of the team said she was in the same position as me 2 weeks ago, told me to be strong. I haven't had no pains and only a little blood on friday. Me and leon are going to wait a bit till we try again as I think I have been through enough for this year!
But when I do have a child I would never wish it were one of the ones I had lost. Because like people say 'things happen for a reason'.
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sandyallen

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Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4580

Posted: 07-25-05 20:04pm

I am sorry it took sooo long for the d&c to take place, I never have liked to hurry up and wait, especially having a procedure or a surgery done, it is horrible, I hope they at least gave you a relaxer at least before they gave you the anesthetic. I do hope you are doing a little better now, I know it is heck! Myfeelings are is that there is nothing that could have been done , we could not have turned it around and allowed it to be us and now I know their are some little ones watching out for me above and in time you might have some that love you just as much here on earth, but don't rush it, allow your body, mind and spirit get better 1st, like I did.
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mum2beee

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 99

Posted: 07-26-05 11:33am

Hey ya, thanks. I'm feeling better now, apart from last night I thought I needed the toilet but when I got in there a load of blood just rushed out of me like a period all in one it might of been where I was walking round town yesterday but not returning to work till monday as I do alot of heavy lifting. Applying for a new job at the council I need something to look forward to.
How many miscarriages did you have sandyallen? And by reading your post I take it you have a child now? X
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sandyallen

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Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4580
Mum2be
Posted: 07-26-05 22:29pm

I am soooo glad you are doing better! I have 2 children both grown I know I should not call them children but they will always be my daughter who is living with sort of a dead beat guy but she always calls with her problems as I am very open I am her best friend as well as her mom(as she says) I try not to get in their business too much but I tell her that if she wants to come home that she can. My son is in iraq for the 3rd time, which is horrible.
I noticed in one of my posts I said that I had three misscarriages actually their was four, the one I tried to save so much after being kicked in the stomach at 5.5 months along, it could not be saved, no way shape or form, it was so messed up. This is why I totally understand where you are coming from.
I also have 100's of other children as that is my job to help those that are abused neglected, etc. This is why I am pro-choice and believe in choice.
You would not believe what is out there!
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christy_babe

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 26
Location: US
Re: Mum2be
Posted: 07-29-05 17:49pm

jlee77 wrote:
i'm a little confused on how someone with children could be for abortion. Hmmm......
popping a kid out from between your legs does not mean that you magically become prolife. My mom planned and had 3 kids. She's still prochoice. She told me that it was my choice because she wouldn't force anyone to go through the hell that is childbirth when they don't want to.
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