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Shadowlove
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 12
Location: Winston Salem, NC
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Pregnant And Boyfriend Wants Time to Think
Posted: 07-22-05 13:41pm
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2 days ago I just told my boyfriend that I
was pregnant. I taken 3 pregnancy tests
and they were positive. Plus I went to
my doctor yesterday and got confirmed.
My boyfriend just moved to washington dc
this past weekend to start his new job.
The transition of new apartment and job is
not going well. I called him on his cell
phone to tell him that my period did not
start and I taken a pregancy test. I
told him it was positive and he told me
that he was at work and he will call me
later. He included that he needs to
think about the situation. 3 hours later
I haven't heard from him and I called him
back. He was on his way home from work.
I asked him what is his thoughts and he
said that he is in shock from all this and
needs time to think about it. I called
him yesterday morning and gave a
suggestion that I can put my furniture in
storage and move up to dc. To find a job
before I start to show. He told me he
haven't thought that far ahead. I asked
him what does he want to do and he said he
didn't know. I expressed to him that I
don't feel any support from him and he
said that he is still shocked and needs
time think about it. I told him that I
feel left out in the murk and he repeated
several times that he is not leaving me.
He told me that he has been working at his
new job for 3 days and he didn't need this
situation dumped on him right now. I
told him that I did not plan this. I
have been taking birth control pills for 3
years and somehow it failed me. He even
seen me take the pills when I spent nights
at his old apartment. Yesterday evening,
he did not call me and I don't know if he
will come to terms of what is going on.
We have been in a relationship for 3
years. We planned to have me moved up to
dc in 6 months after he gets settled with
his job. He told me more than once that
he wants to get married the end of next
year. Right now, I feel like he is
being self-centered and is running away
from the situation. I understand he is
having a hard time in dc but this
pregnancy is just as important as what is
happening around him. I would appreciate
any thoughts.
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 1803
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Posted: 07-22-05 14:56pm
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I say give him the time he needs to think
about it. And when he's ready he will
call u. That is a very shocking thing for
him and he needs to wrap his head around
it. Just give it some time and he will be
ready to talk about it.
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vanessalouanne
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 2268
Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 07-22-05 15:55pm
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I agree.. Give him time to take it all
in, and then if he is still being an ass
then screw him.
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Shadowlove
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 12
Location: Winston Salem, NC
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Re: Pregnant And Boyfriend Wants Time to Think
Posted: 07-22-05 20:27pm
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Thank you for responding to me. I am
pretty scared about what is going to
happen to me/us. I am 32 years old,
never been married and this is my first
pregnancy. My boyfriend is 44 years old
divorced/no kids. It's a huge change for
me and him. I am afraid that he doesn't
want to take responsiblity and also
doesn't want to give up his freedom. I
will be waiting for his call but I am
giving him 2 weeks to let it sink in. It
should not take longer than that. I have
my family/friends love & support here
but it's not the same without his love
& support.
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 1803
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Posted: 07-22-05 21:40pm
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Good luck hun. Let us know how it goes.
:)
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Shadowlove
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 12
Location: Winston Salem, NC
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Posted: 07-22-05 21:48pm
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This is the second night he hasn't called
me. I feel so angry and disappointed in
him. The last conversation I had with
him, I asked him if he cares about me and
he said yes. I also asked him if he loves
me and he said yes. It told him he needs
to act like it. The response I get from
him is that he still shocked and he needs
to think about it.
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 1803
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Posted: 07-22-05 21:54pm
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Well it is a pretty big shock. Just give
him some time :) he'll be alright in a
while.
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Shadowlove
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 12
Location: Winston Salem, NC
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Posted: 07-22-05 22:00pm
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I forgot to add that he cheated on me last
sept. And I caught him out with this
woman. He begged for another chance and
left her alone. This past april she
contacts him to let him know she was
pregnant and is giving the child up for
adoption. She did just that last month
and the dna test confirmed it was his. I
feel that it also added to his hesitation
to communicate with me and show support.
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 1803
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Posted: 07-22-05 22:02pm
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Wow, well that would definitely add to his
shock. Maybe that's why it's taking him
so long to talk to you about it.
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Shadowlove
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 12
Location: Winston Salem, NC
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Posted: 07-22-05 22:14pm
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Still, there a difference between her
since he was seeing her for two weeks and
me which I have been in a relationship for
3 years. He even said to me that it was
a coincidence that I got pregnant when he
moved up to dc. I told him I did not
plan this pregnancy because he was moving
up north.
What really makes me angry is that he
doesn't seem to care enough to check to
see how I am doing as far as my health is
concerned. He could have least emailed me
to show some concern. I have
hypertension. This has been a stressfull
few days for me.
He had shown more concern/support for his
exlover during the adoption procedures
than I am experiencing right now from him.
Ironic isn't it?
Last edited by Shadowlove on 07-22-05 22:22pm; edited 1 time in total
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 1803
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Posted: 07-22-05 22:20pm
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I mean that's it's just a lot for him to
take in just a few months. I mean, two
babies when he used to have none? That's
a big change.
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Shadowlove
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 12
Location: Winston Salem, NC
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Posted: 07-22-05 22:26pm
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What really makes me angry is that he
doesn't seem to care enough to check to
see how I am doing as far as my health is
concerned. He could have least emailed me
to show some concern. I have
hypertension. This has been a stressfull
few days for me.
He had shown more concern/support for his
exlover during the adoption procedures
than I am experiencing right now from him.
Ironic isn't it?
It proves the whole world that he couldn't
keep his peter in his pants. Since the
day I caught him with that woman he has
been on the staight and narrow.
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 1803
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Posted: 07-22-05 22:56pm
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Hopefully things start to look up for u
soon :) good luck
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Shadowlove
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jul 2005
Posts: 12
Location: Winston Salem, NC
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Posted: 07-23-05 18:32pm
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I just got dumped by my boyfriend. I
called him to get some information
regarding his blood type since I am rh
negative. He told me that he had made
his decision of what he wanted to do. He
accused me of setting him up by getting
pregnant on the sly. I told him I was
shocked that he would have such a low
opinion of me. We have been together for
3 years and can't believe he would think I
would do such a thing. I told him that I
spoken to a friend to get hired looking
for a second job. Why would I make plans
to move up to dc and plan a pregancy
(behind his back) at the same time. His
response is that he doesn't know what he
believes. He included as far as he is
concerned there is no us.
I feel so used and discarded. He claimed
to love & care for me and he leaves me
in a blink of an eye. That proves he
never was supportive of me in the first
place. I am heartbroken but I will
survive. He will get what he deserves in
the end. Karma will always catches up.
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 1803
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Posted: 07-23-05 19:35pm
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Awwww hunni i'm so sorry! What a jerk...
I hate how guys assume we do stuff like
that behind their backs. Granted, some
women do, but to just assume that with now
reason? That's insane. I'm sorry u had
to deal with that, but I hope things will
look up for u. It's better not to be with
someone who would think that of u. Good
luck with ur pregnancy.
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concernedmomen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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Posted: 04-27-08 10:11am
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I am going through a similar situation
myself. I told my boyfriend I was pregnant
and he said it scared him, but now he just
wants to be friends
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newmommy07
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 686
Location: Sparks, NV, 89434
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Posted: 04-28-08 02:00am
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Men are wimps and cowards... well a lot of
them I think! I hope he grows up and lives
in reality, seems like he just wants the
easy way out... >< I'm sorry your
going thru this, pm me if you wanna talk.
I have a few friends in your shoes so I
can empathisize a lil. =)
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