Im new here so I just thought id share
what im going through right now. Im an
addict. I start using about 8 years ago,
then it was mostly pot and booze...We will
just skip ahead here. I have a severe
drug addiction. I had a wife, kids, a
home, even a dog. A perfect little life
that I ruined. 2 years ago I was high on
pot, coke and booze and was driving with
my family, I crashed and rolled over the
side of cliff. A tree broke the fall but
also killed everyone in the car except me.
The story is a little more twisted then
that but I feel like ive givin you enough
horrible details. After that I didnt
have much to live for so I just started
using more and more untill I had overdosed
4 times and brought back to life once.
Why am I still here? I dont know....I
wouldnt mind being gone, but it seems
like it just isnt my time.
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DivineIntervention
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jun 2005 Posts: 30 Location: Remote cave in Iraq
Posted: 08-18-05 02:07am
Thats deep man. Do you goto church?
Thats where I would go.
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shadowalker164
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 175 Location: Tampa, FL
Posted: 08-18-05 09:25am
The way I see it, you have two choices.
Choice #1…
you go on as you have, blotting out the
guilt you feel as best you can with
alcohol and dope until the end. Now
understand that that end may be years and
years in the future. You may have a lot
of blotting to do before you die.
That is without a doubt the hard way to go
about dealing with your life. It is also
in the same breath the easiest way, you
already know how to get and stay stoned.
In fact before your family died, before
you were wracked with guilt about the car
accident, you were already stoned. In
fact, you had been getting drunk and
stoned on a regular basic for a long time
before the accident. Your problem isn’t
your families death, as tragic as it is,
your problem predates that terrible event.
Stoned is the go to position for a guy
like you or me. I understand that getting
stoned just because my eyes are open
feeling very well. That’s what we do.
But here’s the rub with that. It
doesn’t work! You are going to feel
like crap about who you are and what you
have done, every hour of every day until
you die. You’ll never be free of it.
But there is choice #2…
if you have spent any time at all haunting
recovery sites, you have been exposed to a
solution for all your troubles. But the
problem with that approach is that it
requires that you want to get clean and
sober more than you want to get drunk and
stoned. And only you can do that.
Your friend on this long strange trip,
richard
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SuziON
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Sep 2005 Posts: 25 Location: Welland
I Agree Posted: 09-09-05 07:15am
Also, when you're ready, use all the
experience that you have to help other
with additions. You can save many lives
and it's very rewarding. Use what you
have, it'll help you to heal and you can
start your life over.
I'm sorry about what happened, I really
am.
I also go to church, without that I would
have no hope or strength.
I wish you the best.
Suzi
