Lonely Scared And Confused Posted: 07-26-05 00:53am
Hi all, this is my first time. I have no
one to turn to and thought id try here. I
live with my partner and feel scared all
the time that he will leave me, this makes
me sad and angry and in turn pushes him
further away. I love him but my
paralising fear is destroying our
relationship and I dont know how to get
back to when we were happy. I really hate
myself at the moment and spend most of the
day wishing I were dead yet none of my
family or friends have any idea how I feel
as I hide it so well. My partner knows im
unhappy but he doesnt understand my deep
feelings of self loathing. I cry all the
time - if he doesnt call me or text me
enough if he doesnt want to make love and
touch me all the time. Help please :cry:
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poetmcc
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 273
Hey Posted: 07-29-05 12:36pm
Hey manna, you sound like you are a very
insecure person with anxiety and the
extrme insecurity is leading to your
depression. You show a good example of
this by saying you are always afraid your
bf will leave you.
Also you mentioned that you hide your
depression and I am sure everyone will
tell you...That is the worst thing you can
do. Sometimes even more than meds,
talking can help. Talking to your bf
would be a good start. You say he doesn't
undertsand how u feel, maybe its time you
made him sit down and make him realize the
gravity of the situation here.
Or u can talk to a best friend- someone
who you feel understand you.
The next step might be to see a counselor
or therapist who can either have talking
sessions or give you medicine. This can
really help...Depression can be overcome
and you can do it too.
I was also wondering, do u feel insecure
onyl around you bf or with everyone?
Well, I hope you will talk to a dr about
this to get help and live a hppy life
again. It is possible. Take care and
keep me posted on how u are doing.
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manna
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Posts: 3
Posted: 08-02-05 00:05am
Yes I think I am very insecure. I dont
believe I am worthy of anyone loving me.
I try so hard and give everything I have
yet I dont seem to be able to trust
anyone. I want a normal relationship but
I dont know if I can. Im scared my bf
will leave will cos he has 2 kids from his
last marriage and feels guilty every day
for leaving them. I know he loves me but
what if he cant live without them? He
wont tell his ex wife that he is living
with me cos she hates me so much and he
thinks she might run off with his boys.
How do I overcome my insecurities? I dont
have any close friends and cant talk to my
family as they will just tell me its my bf
making me feel this way, even though I
know its me.
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manna
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Posts: 3
Posted: 08-02-05 00:23am
Yes I think I am very insecure. I dont
believe I am worthy of anyone loving me.
I try so hard and give everything I have
yet I dont seem to be able to trust
anyone. I want a normal relationship but
I dont know if I can. Im scared my bf
will leave will cos he has 2 kids from his
last marriage and feels guilty every day
for leaving them. I know he loves me but
what if he cant live without them? He
wont tell his ex wife that he is living
with me cos she hates me so much and he
thinks she might run off with his boys.
How do I overcome my insecurities? I dont
have any close friends and cant talk to my
family as they will just tell me its my bf
making me feel this way, even though I
know its me.
|
poetmcc
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 273
Hello Again Posted: 08-02-05 08:30am
Overcoming insecurities sound to be a very
difficult job to do on your own. I think
you would benefit from talking with a
counselor. Counselors are tarined to talk
to people with all sorts of personal
problmes and there are some online that
you can talk to as well.
I am sorry to be giving you the same
advice as in my last post but I do think
this is the best bet for you because you
say your family cannot help. The bad
thing is this insecurity of yours could
become depression, which would be worse.
If you just want to distract yourself from
your insecurities about your bf try a
hobby. Voluteer somewhere- volunteering
helps you feel a lot better. Have you
heard the saying " if you want to cheer
up, cheer someone else." try it.
Or do something you enjoy. Read, go for a
walk, listne to music, shake it on the
dance floor... :)
thanks for taking the time to read this, I
know its really long. Take care fo
yourself and hope you feel better soon.
|
Piglady
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005 Posts: 12 Location: PA
Posted: 08-03-05 08:28am
Manna..........Your somebody. I always
remind myself that "god don't make junk"
and that I am somebody. You need to talk
to you boyfriend and to your treating
psychologist or whomever your seeing. You
need to build up that self confidence and
know that even if he would leave
you......My old and favorite saying
is........If I can't keep him then he
wasn't worth having. I know that is not
the answer for you since you had great
times before. But maybe your insecure
since you moved in and are scared that it
was a mistake, or having second thoughts.
Living together is not always what we
think it can or will be. People seem to
feel that they are living together and the
real you or them comes out. Talk to
someone.......It will help. Piglady
