Confused....please Read

I am sorry you are having to go through this. I can't say for sure why she is doing this to you. It could be a power trip - she realizes the control she has over you and uses it to her benefit. Is she nice and sweet when she wants something from you and then once she gets it turns back to being cold and cruel? My first thought when I read what you wrote is that once she got what she wanted the thrill of the chase was gone and she no longer had the same interest in you...You know the saying you always want what you can't have? It could be that she spent three years chasing after you and once she finally got you the fun of the chase was gone and she quickly became disinterested. The only other thing I can think of is that I suppose it is possible she hasn't completely made up her mind about you. Maybe part of her does like you but part of her doesn't and she can't decide exactly which way she wants to go. If that is the case then she made be cold and cruel to you because part of her doesn't like you but then keep you around as a friend and tell you how wonderful you are because that other part of her does like you.

In any case though, the fact that its been almost a year and she is simply stringing you along and hurting you is reason enough I believe to just say goodbye. How healthy of a relationship can you have with her, even just a friendship, if she is being heartless towards you? You still have feelings for her because you see that there is good inside her and you can see that she is capable of caring for you. But if she won't show that to you on a regular basis you are just wasting your time. She's caused enough heartache in your life - cut your losses and move on with your life. It will be hard at first because you are so used to her being in your life and you have to get used to her not being there all the time - like a habit you have to break. But once you are able let go of that part of your past you will find a greater happiness. The easiest way to get over someone from your past is to find someone new. To quote liz phair "isn't the best part of breaking up finding someone else you can't get enough of?" go out and meet new people and gradually it will be easier and easier to let go and chances are you will find someone that will treat you right and really care about you. Good luck

Thanks for the prompt reply....Sometimes I do think she still has feelings for me...She had a boyfriend during this time for like 6 months, and I would be around it has a friend to hers. I openly didn't care about it, I was openly really cool with everything actually, I talked to him all the time actually (which really drove me crazy). But to her, I didn't care about him, and deep down I think that pissed her off, I think she wanted me to be a little jealous about it but I wasn't, at least not openly. Sometimes I just feel that if she knew she wanted to be friends only then the cruelness would have stopped a long time ago. Its' one of those things that you love them but you hate them at the same time, ya know? Its like whenever she sees me she gets miserable, especially when i'm having a good time without her....She always tries to bring me down. I dunno, really confused. Any other thoughts would really help me.

Thanks again.

Tee

I think this girl is just destined to hurt you and break your heart. I honestly believe you would be better off if you just broke off contact with her. It sounds like she is still kinda immature - stuck in high school drama mode. Ultimately the decision lays with you in that you have to get to the point when you just don't want to deal with it anymore and make a clean and final break. Go out and expand your horizons and I promise you will find theres a better world out there than what she can offer you.

As I was reading your forum all the exact thoughts that were going
thru my mind is exactly what floridagirl said!
It was all the thrill of the chase and sounds most definately like alot
of curiousity which after that kiss the curiousity killed the cat!!!!
I'd kick her to the curb as she's done to you!!!

So... Sorry for your sorrow!
Sincerely , diamond