Is Wife Really Done With Me

Here is my situation and I am looking for any help, perspective, opinion, or hint as to what I should do.
The past two and a half years have been extrememly difficult on me and my wife. See january 2003 is when we had our fourth child(second together) and all was well, I mean besides the poop, spit up and complete lack of sleep, but then came may, and I found out that my father(one of my two best freinds) was basically diagnosed with cancer of the spine about an inch and a half below the stem of his brain. Well needless to say it threw me through a loop, but to tell you the truth I feel as though I was quite strong. See just months before, him and my mother had moved to our little town, abotu two blocks away. So I had the opportunity to see him during his illness every day. I also was able to basically take care of two complete houses since my mother is 50% disabled & 50% completely lazy. But anyways that went on until may 2004 when he eventually could fight no more. And I was strong even through standing up at his funeral, but shortly there after I started to wear down, I was just so tired. Mentally physically sexually, life just was just almost too much too take. The only thing that kept me going is waking up to my kids and hearing the sound of my wife's voice, lia. But unfortuanely that is the only thing I heard. Basically from xmas 2004 until about july 2005 I guess you could say I did not pay attention to anything or anybody. I mean there are week long periods that I do not remember at all. I never cheated or even thought of it but I might as well have. Every one I know has described me as a person completely void of emotion, feelings, and just about anything a family or a home would need. Then after the one year mark all just fell apart. Everything for whatever reason just made me lose it and for the most part I became abusive, not physically but verbally. Which from what I have learned is almost worse. Anyways that went on for weeks and I kept leaving everynight, to basically just go to my buddies house and for the most part I would just sit in his garage and do nothing. But to me it was a place to feel like I was much younger and basically it was a place were I did not hurt anymore, even if it was for a short time. Well after abotu a month and a half my wife was pretty much done and then now she has basically told me she is done with me. The only problem is that two weeks something amazing happened. See she was leaving for southern california on the 17th of july but she woke me up to say goodbye. When she woke me up I felt as though something huge yet evil had been pulled out of me.. There sat the woman who in my heart I have loved more then anything for the past 11 plus years sat, gently rubbing my chest, and for the first time in over two years I honestly felt, okay. I felt alive, I felt good, most of all I felt in love. Well if you can not see where this is going I will be quick. She leaves, I freak out because she is not there for me to hold and tell what has happened, I start snooping and find out everybody but me has been informed that she wants a divorce, that she is moving out, and that she is done with the whole crappy situation. Well that pushes me over the edge, I am calling non stop, anybody and everybody. Then when she returns I have no emtional control. I go from completely upset to completly helpless and crying. Anyways I am completly lost she has basically arranged to rent a house and leave me alone. She has no idea I have awoke and I feel like a new man. I do not know what to do she says she feels like she is drowning, yet I am so afraid. Can someone possibly point me in the right direction. I am trying to tell her not to give up, but she says she has nothing left. But in my heart I do not believe it, anyways anything welcome