2 years ago I was raped at a party and I
am having trouble dealing with it. I
always remembered it but lately the
flashbacks have been soo real and I can't
stop crying, I completely lost trust in
everyone. I can't even talk to my mom
about this problem, I dont know what to
do, would professional help be a good
idea?? And is it normal to be very angry
all the time after something like this
happens to you??
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damsel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 May 2005 Posts: 69 Location: Melbourne, Australia
I'm Sorry For What He Did to You.... Posted: 08-01-05 08:16am
Hey babe, I kinda know what your going
through. Last year I was at a party,
anyway I got really drunk and ended up
passingout in a bedroom, a good male
friend of mine came into the room and
started getting with me, grindingme and
undressing me. All the time I was saying
no ( iwas too drunk to move), but he kept
going. He was about to full on rape me
when my best friend pulled him off me (my
hero). The point is that although I
wasn't totally raped, he was a good friend
of mine and was going to do it! I get so
angry and scared...I feel like I cant
trust anyone ever, especially guys and its
ruining my relationship wiht my boyfriend.
I know its normal to feel this way, but
it doesn't stop me feeling any less alone
and unable to talk about it...I guess i'm
ashamed. It also set me off again into my
eating disorder, which I was recovering
from. *sigh* all guys are no namers...
If you wanna vent at all, you can pm me
something ok? I hope your doing ok, your
not alone, i'm here for you :)
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vanessa3489
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005 Posts: 3 Location: Canada
Being Raped Posted: 08-03-05 00:39am
I too know what being raped is like. I
have a message to the person who cut their
wrists. Please don't do this! It is not
your fault that this crazy person raped
you. It happens all too often from
people whom we trust and care for, but
this is how these sick demented people
find us. They become our friends, all the
while we are letting our guard down.
They are the ones that should be feeling
miserable. To punkette, a therpist
should be able to help you walk through
your emotions and validate them for you.
There are good ones out there who really
do want to help. I would also like to
tell you that anger does last a long time
but what is the hardest if forgiving
ourselves, because for some strange reason
we blame ourselves, like it is our fault,
but honestly, it is not.
If you are spiritual, pray and listen, you
are special and god loves you.
I would suggest telling your mom if you
are ok with it. When ever you are
comfortable telling her, then go for it.
It doesn't mean now but maybe down the
road when you feel stronger.
God bless and my prayers to you.
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Piglady
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005 Posts: 12 Location: PA
Please Help Posted: 08-03-05 08:24am
I am sorry your going through this.
First of all you can tell your mom. She
is your mom and as a mom I know I would be
there for my child. Seondly you need to
talk to a rape counselor. They are the
ones trained in this field and until you
talk to someone it will not get better.
I was sexually abused as a child and it
took years but now I know I was a victim
and not the cause of the molestation.
Rape is different and yet it is similar.
Your security is taken away and you need
to get that back. Please talk to
somone.....Don't let that person ruin your
life. I almost did and at the ripe old
age of 36 I finally found freedom and felt
that I was going to be okay. It will
never go away and will always be a part of
your past, but don't let that incident
decide the rest of your life. There is
help out there but first talk to your
mother. She loves you no matter
what........And always will. Hugs and
sunshine, piglady
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punkette
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 5
Thank You All For Responding Posted: 08-08-05 10:12am
Thankyou for your advice, and I am
starting to see a therapist in a couple
days and I hope it helps and I dont know
if I can tell my mom cause it will make
her look at me differently. And I dont
want her too. I just wanna stop all of
this, I wish it never happened. And you
are right part of me thinks it is my
fault.
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Piglady
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005 Posts: 12 Location: PA
Talking to Your Mom Posted: 08-08-05 19:28pm
Punkette,
trust me your mom won't look at you
differently other then with more love and
concern. That is normal for anyone to do
that cares about you and loves you. We
all live in fear of harm coming to those
we love. She will not love you any less
and in time you will know that. Even a
mom loves her child that harms another
when the parent knows that their child did
wrong. A parent is a parent for the rest
of their lives and it never ends. In
time you will learn that too. I know I
sound like a broken record, but time
heals all and that is something I had to
learn. I fianlly became a survivor and
not a victim an it is a wonderful feeling.
Keep with the counseling and be sure
that the support is there and that you are
not the bad person through all of this.
You are a victim and you deserve the best
in life....And with the counseling you
will obtain that.
