Somebody please give me some advice! I am
so depressed I don't even know what to do
with myself. I'll start from the
beginning. Last year after I graduated
high school my mom kicked me out and I
moved in with my boyfriend. 6 months
later we moved across the country to his
hometown, where I know no one. Then, this
july we got married, with no wedding,
because his family is poor and mine
doesn't want anything to do with us. But
that's not the problem, I didn't need a
wedding, I didn't care. Ever since I
have left I just hate myself. Not for
leaving, I don't know why. We are so
poor, we have nothing, haven't even paid
rent in 3 or 4 months. I got pregnant
shortly after we got married, and I almost
feel that if it weren't for this baby I
would have absolutely no reason, no desire
to live. I feel that there is no point
to my life. I live in an area that has
no jobs(especially for a pregnant woman).
I worked when we first moved here but got
laid off and can't find work again. My
husband just got laid off this week and
now we have no income. However he should
start monday again. I feel so useless.
We have only 1 car(that he drives to work
without insurance because we can't afford
it) and I live stranded alone in the
woods. I have no friends, nobody to talk
to. I have no point to get up in the
morning-to watch tv? I haven't left the
house in weeks. I sleep till 1 and go to
bed at 10, because there is nothing for
me. I rely on my husband to take care of
me, and I hate it, I need a job, I need to
get out of this house. And when I try to
talk to him he doesn't understand, nobody
does, nobody can help me. Every time it
looks like we're moving foreward we're
pulled back twice as far. Once we had to
write a hot check just to have some food,
and that led to another, another...We
can't even afford an attorney to claim
bankruptcy. I'm so lonely. Somebody
please tell me something, anything...Just
talk to me...Please. I'm all alone
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Munoz1226
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 130 Location: Tucson
Posted: 01-03-04 19:47pm
Wow! Life can be so hard sometimes. It
seems unfair that you should have to be
cooped up in that house. I strongly
suggest you talk to your boyfriend and
tell him that you are becoming severly
depressed. Tell him that if you can't get
a job or join a women's group for mother's
to be you will lose it. Be honest and up
front with him. Tell him you appreciate
all his hard work, but you need some
interaction with the world so you can make
friends.
Why don't you write a letter or try
calling your parents. Even if it's just a
letter, write them and tell them your
feelings. Tell them you need at least
their emotional support. Tell them that
you aren't asking them to accept your
situation, but you are their daughter and
that will never change so they could at
least call to say they love you every once
in awhile.
I also suggest taking walks. Go for 30
minute walks or even just 15 minutes and
get some fresh air. Being in the house
all day is so unhealthy for anyone. It
can make depression so much worse.
You and your husband should apply for
acchs(access). It is insurance for low
income people. Not for the car, but for
your health. You could get into see a Dr.
Who could help with your depression and
maybe even hook you into some places to
find jobs and make friends.
I will say some prayers for you and I wish
you the best of luck!!
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-05-04 11:20am
I agree,
1) talk to your husband
2) write to your family (parents &
others) & friends back where you used
to live.
3) go for short walks outside everytime
you get upset & look at all the beauty
of nature
4) find a women's group for mums to
be/young mums (you'll be one soon &
will benefit from their support &
advice) - if you can't get to town do this
on-line
5) check out about the health insurance
6) are there any community help
organizations (check phone book or local
library) that might be able to put you in
touch with some free legal aid & other
help you obviously need
7) smile - trust me do it - right now-
smile you will feel better, every time you
look in the mirror smile, put smilie faces
up everywhere, dray them in the dirt when
you go for a walk & smile, it really
does help you feel better.
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caesarsmama
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2003 Posts: 35 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posted: 01-05-04 11:41am
:d hi new mommy,
how are you doing? Manoz and purple have
given you some good advice. Have you
taken any of it? If so what have you
done?
Please let us know. Getting kinda
worried here!
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NewMommy0730
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2003 Posts: 2 Location: Hope, AR
Posted: 01-05-04 23:04pm
Well sorry guys that I haven't responded-i
posted so long ago, months ago actually
and nobody responded for so long that I
just gave up. Well today I got an email
that people responded, so thank you all-i
appreciate it so much.
For an update, i'm now 24 weeks, 3 days
pregnant and doing well. I've still had
no real bad complications. We found out
at 16 weeks that we're having a girl, and
we're naming her ashleigh mae, after tj's
grandmother. She's due april 23.
My husband did not end up going back to
work, and finally just found another job
about 2 weeks ago. We haven't paid rent
yet, and our landlord is about to kick us
out, but my husband did get a good enough
job that we need to move over there
anyway(its over an hour and a half away).
Also, it will turn out to be a great
paying job as well. The time that he was
home was good and bad. Bad because we had
no income and were struggling, but we got
foodstamps and stuff. It was good,
however, because it gave us time together
again and brought us a bit closer.
I still have no friends, but i'm not as
depressed as I was. I do still keep in
touch with my family(my mom) and she's
accepted and is excited(she says) about
being a grandma, but actions speak louder
than words. My father was great, he sent
us some money when our car got impounded
for no insurance and got the car out for
us and got us insurance. Unfortunately
my husband will lose his liscense because
of that.
I joined an aol mommies group online,
which is great because I always have email
and chatrooms to go to when i'm online,
with mom's of all ages, some my age and
pregnant, my age with 4 kids, older and
pregnant, older with many kids. Its very
nice and releiving.
Also, I got a job finally, at mcdonalds
but at least i'm getting out of the house.
They were the only people that would
hire a pregnant woman. Unfortunately,
the pregnancy is taking a toll, the baby
sits on a major nerve and makes standing
very painful. The Dr. Put me on bed
rest for a couple days to try to shift
her but she must take after her fathers
stubborness...Lol. I can only work 5 hour
shifts now, but I prefer that to 8 hour
shifts. This made my boss mad, though,
and she only gave me 7 hours this week.
But oh well.
So, as you can see, i'm surviving. Life
isn't as perfect as I would like it to be,
but I can be blamed for getting married so
early and having a baby. Hopefully i'll
be able to start school again in the fall.
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-06-04 01:31am
I think I speak for all 3 of us when I say
we're glad things are looking up &
that you & the baby are well &
it's great that you & your husband got
that time together before the baby comes
along.
Keep smiling again I mean it do it as much
as you can, get into the habit before the
baby is born because babies really tire
you out & stress you. So you need to
develop some ways of coping with all that
now, when you have 2 seconds to think!!
Some ways of destressing when young
ashleigh mae arrives is to put her in a
pram/stroller & take her for a walk,
anywhere (indoors/outdoors/shops whatever)
it relaxes you & her at the same time
so makes everyone happier. You will panic
about everything when she arrives, that's
just because you're a new mum & has
nothing to do with age. Also don't be too
set on going back to school after she's
born, it just may not be possible straight
away. No-one can take on everything at
once. Give yourself some time to recover
& to get used (not that you ever
really do!!) to being a mother & enjoy
the cuddles.
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caesarsmama
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2003 Posts: 35 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posted: 01-07-04 07:42am
:d
hi,
what 'purple' said. I too, am very glad
things seem to be working out for you.
It's also great that you and your baby
have good medical care. I think it's
good that you are in a group for new moms.
They will be especially helpful once the
baby arrives as you will probably
experience 'post partum depression'
(perfectly normal) and they will be able
to help you through this as well.
It sounds like 2004 is off to a good start
for you.
Take good care and keep in touch!!
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caesarsmama
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2003 Posts: 35 Location: Ontario, Canada
