Just to Let You All Know...

Ooo hunni I hope everything gets better for you girl. Keep us updated so we know whats going on and where you are. Much love and luck melissa

Hey girls,
i have been thinking hardcore about all of this ever since I got home...And I think im going to go to work tonight at 6 and sleep at my friends house again...We both work at the same place and we're both staying until closing tonight, so im going to put together another bag and just go with her. I cant stay here right now. My mom's still not home and quite honestly, I dont want her to come home while im here....As for the situation with tom, I saw him last night and he told me he doesnt want a relationship because hes still screwed up from his ex...And I understand that....I told him that I dont think I can sleep with him if we're just "hooking up" and he understood that....But now im having 2nd thoughts....I told him last night that I did want to get on birth control though just so I have that protection just incase....And now I feel like I just want to do it with him because I trust him and I feel so incredibly comfortable with him. Like last night we almost had sex, but I held back, and I think it was because I was scared because I wasnt on bc yet...Thats like my only hesitation...So he said he was going to help me get it so my mom wouldnt know, if I didnt want her to.. I dont know, I just feel like breaking down right now...I feel soo alone..I wish you girls lived closer to me!!
I just hope everything turns out okay...
Vanessa

Hey sweetie! What did u and ur parents fight about?? I really dont think u should sleep w/ tom right now it may seem like the right thing to do but sweetie u are going through a tough time and ur really confused w/ ur parents and all and I think u should wait it out...If u still feel like u want to sleep w/ him once u and ur parents work things out then great but I think u should wait I think ur I a very vulnerable stage right now where u feel all alone ive been there and I never had someone to tell me or to stop me from doing something that I regretted later! Hang in there sweetie and I hope things work out between u and ur parents! Im always here for ya! Much love adn god bless u !!

Jen

Hey gurl.....Whats going on...???? I dont think its vey wise to leave your parents house. Was the fight that bad? Go back home.....Its ok if they health forum ...But ...I dont know! Your parents might worry and things might get worse. I dont want to tell you the wrong thing. Take care!!

Well this is what happened...
Thursday night I was on the phone with tom around 10 and I went into my living room to talk because my sister was going to bed(share a room)...So I went in there and talked for about 10 mins, then tom told me he was gonna call me back at 11 cuz he wanted to watch his show...So I stayed in the living room until he called me back cuz I knew if I went back in my room i'd fall asleep and miss his call again....So he called me back at 11 and I went back in my room to talk to him...Then my mom came in my doorway and was just staring at me, so I put the phone down and was like what do you want?! And she just started flipping out on me...Everything happened so fast I dont even remember most of what was said...But she threatened me and said that she would have tom's ass put in jail and all this, and then she hit me!! So I flipped out completely and told her that I was leaving...I told her that I have obeyed everything she has told me to do with the tom situation and this is how she treats me for it? No way...So I packed up a lot of my stuff and called my friend to have her come pick me up...And when I told her I was leaving she was like oh where you gonna go, your boyfriends house? And I was like yea you'll be sorry you said that when I walk out that door...And then(caps) she tried to talk to me and apologized and I told her it was too late....But it wasnt just about tom, things had been boiling up for a really long time and that was like the breaking point for me...I needed time away from my family and my house...So I left thurs night and stayed with my friend friday and saturday and came back home sunday(yesterday)....When I came in she gave me a hug and started to cry, but me and my parents havent sat down yet and really talked things through...So we'll see what happens....
I wanna be on my own and be able to take care of myself ya know..Im sick of having to depend on people, especially when they treat you like crap sometimes...
I dont know girls, my bags are still packed in my room, so leaving again is still an option for me...But hopefully it wont come to that again
and then this thing with tom, I really want a relationship now and he doesnt at all...So im thinking about breaking it off with him, because in the end im going to get hurt because I want more then he does....I need someone right now, and he doesn't seem to want to be that person. Im completely torn up about everything....I need a breather
vanessa

Vanessa,
hey sweetie!! Im glad u came home and ur mom hugged u and cried that means she at least cares about you! But I honestly think u did the right thing for just grabbing your things and leaving for a while we all need some time away from our homes to think things out and be rational about everything...You should tell your parents that u want to be on your own like get an emancipation idk u have a job and if u have somewhere to live you shouldnt have a problem! With tom you are very right u want more than he wants so in the end u will get hurt! U need someone who wants wat u want and will be there for u when u need them!! Hang in there sweetie! Much lvoe adn god bless!!

Jen

Dear lord, that sounds like what happened with me and my mom, at least twice a day. I think that it is a good idea if you get on bc even if you dont have sex because it is beneficial in many ways. Keep me posted on what happens, I have been exactly where you are and I am here for you when you need me. Loads of love, laughter, and joy!!

Stacie

Jen & stacie,
thanks for being so supportive...Its going to be hard telling him that this isn't going to work out right now, but I need to do it, because it will only benefit me in the end. As for my parents, I still have to talk to them and see what they say, but i'm sick of living my life this way. I understand i'm only 16, but they need to let me go a little and realize that i'm no longer a little girl. If I decide not to do the right thing, then I need to live with the consequences, but them trying to stop me from doing the wrong thing isnt working anymore...I know that sounds bad, but they're still treating me like im 10...If I dont do my homework I can't go out that night? If I don't do my homework then I should have to deal with my teacher the next day, but I can't stand how they're trying to make all of my decisions for me....And the birth control, im definitely going to get on it, im just not sure how im going to go about getting it yet...I doubt that im going to give myself to tom, because quite honestly, he doesnt deserve that! Ive been thinking and im soo proud of holding out this long and realized that I should continue to hold out until I find someone who will want(caps) to be my first to share that special time with me...Not just to do it...If I sleep with tom then I will be disappointing myself, and well, there's only a first time once. Im going to wait until im in a steady relationship with someone I trust, and someone I love. Because that's the whole point of sex...Making love....I want it to be out of love, not out of sexual desire. It might be easier to talk to my mom about getting on the pill after I let tom go because she wont assume im sleeping with him. So that will take care of that dilemma. Jen, it feels good to hear somebody support my decision to leave for the weekend, it felt great to be by myself, and have to make certain decisions on my own. I felt like I was my own person again. Stacie, did you ever end up getting on bc and if so, how did you get it?
I hope you girls are doing good...Im hanging in there, and ill keep you updated on everything that happens.
Much love,
vanessa

Yes, I did end up getting on bc, I was on it before I got pregnant and then my mom said it promoted sex so she stopped giving me my pills that my grandma would send. Now that I have had sean though my grandma works in a doctors office so she brings me them home from work. That works for me, but I dont remember you saying your parents are doctors, or that your parents support the idea. My sister is now having sex, and my mom told her that she cant get on bc because it promotes sex. I figured my mom would learn from that and knock it off because of what I am going through. But my sister also was scared to tell my mom, because my mom is a nutt so she told her it was for cramps which is also true. You could go to like a planned parenthood, or you could umm try something else. Something has got to work. To bad you arent on the same type as me, I could send you pill packs. I have like 20...Talk to you soon!!

Stacie

Stacie,
what kind of bc are you on? I dont even know what kinds there are...I thought it was just one type of pill....Looks like ive gotta do some research! Lol, but I feel bad that your mom won't let your sister get on bc, I mean does she want her to end up having a baby like you did? Not that your son is a mistake, because none of them are, but im sure it would be a lot less stressful if your mom wasn't a grandmother a second time ya know....I guess some parents are weird about this stuff...No my parents arent doctors, so im kinda in the same position most girls are...Need the pill, but dont know where and how to get it...Im sure if I talked to my mom she would help me but I dont know if I can do that right now...Especially with whats going on...Im kinda nervous though, because ive been getting cramps this past week and ive been "spotting" very very lightly, and I dont know why....He fingered me(sry for being graphic) and that was my first time doing that, so I could understand the bleeding, but I dont get the cramps....Im not due for my period until like the 1st week in december...Ah its nerve wrecking not knowing whats goin on with ur body...Hopefully it goes away....By the way, hows sean doing? How old is he now? Any pictures? I hope you and your family are doing good!
Talk to ya soon,
vanessa

Blank

Your on your own? Where do you live? Why arent you in school? Are you with the dad?

Denise,
im not planning on moving out, I just needed to get away and take a break for the weekend, and im glad that I did, so that I could clear my head and think rationally. Im only 16, I know that if I leave, things will never be the same with my family again, and im not about to risk that. I know people who have it 10 times worst then I do, and im thankful that I have a family who I can trust and count on...But I also can only take so much ya know? Im sorry that you're on your own at such a young age, I cant even imagine...I truly hope the best for you, and if you need anything anytime pm me.
Much love,
vanessa

Stacie I just dont understand why your mom wouldnt let you go on b/c. Yeah it is used for sex but it is used for cramps and peiords too..I am lucky my mom wanted me to go on it when she found out I was having sex.

And vanessa I am so sorry to hear what happened to you! Me and my mom use to fight alot..She has hit me too I have run away like you have but you just have to talk it all out to make it better..Me and my mom have such a close realsphip now. She knows everything I do because I feel open to telling her. Keep us posted on what happeneds! And about tom dont sleep with him. Its a speical thing you have and you should give it to someone you love. Not somebody your not dating and dont love. Lots of love!

Alison xoxo

Wow im sorry your mom has hit you guys. Ive never been hit, and I hope to never get hit either. But dont take off for too long vanessa. I think your mom is freaking out because this guy is way older. And I dont think she wants you to end up pregnant. Just be careful. And I agree with alison. Dont do it with tom until you are completely sure you want to. Not for desire but because deep in your heart youll know its right.

Were do you live, are you in pa?

Denise

Alison,
me and my mom have always had an extremely close relationship...I could tell her things that most girls cant tell their moms...But ever since ive met tom, and after losing my best friend(cousin also) I dont care about much any more...Im sick of telling people everything, because that leaves me vulnerable to getting hurt...Especially with tom, I have to watch what I tell her because im not sure how she will react....I mean after I came back home we talked about it and she told me shes just scared and wants to protect me, and I understand that, but theres only so much she can literally protect me from, I have to experience things on my own so I can learn from them...I was so incredibly surprised by my parents last night though because I told them tom wanted to take me to the movies(we've waited over 3 weeks for this moment!), and guess what? They said it was ok! I was so relieved, so tom came over and met my parents, and things went so well. I mean it was kinda weird because we're not "committed" to eachother right now, so it was more of a "lets meet the guy that will be driving you" instead of a "lets meet the boyfriend" type of deal....And then we ended up going back to my friends house afterwards and we were messing around, and we ended up having dry sex with a condom on....I dont regret it at all, but it made me feel better knowing we were protected, just in case ya know? If I see him tonight im going to tell him that I cant sleep with him unless we're both committed to eachother and on the pill to add to it...Its just one of my morals that I have and thats never going to change...Im just trying to take each day at a time, and deal with things as they come...No rushing, no worrying.

Nikki,
my parents have never hit me, thats why I was so upset after my mom did thursday night. I flipped on her...Its funny that you said shes probably afraid because she doesnt want to end up being a grandmother..Because she had just told me last night that my dad doesnt want to see me getting pregnant...Which in a way makes me feel better, because if I do sleep with him, and they do find out, they wont go psycho on me or him...So that eased my mind....But I dont know, im not trying to predict anything or worry, im just trying to deal with things as they come....Hope everybodys doing well.
Much love,
vanessa