Sometimes I Don't Think I Can Do It!!! Posted: 08-06-05 04:22am
Hello my name is amanda... I'm a single
mom of two little girls that are 4 years
old and 14 months old. They are my life.
I went through a rape alittle almost 8
weeks ago and found out about three weeks
ago that I am now pregnant with twins. I
decided not to abort them, cause I don't
believe in that... But this situation
has really made me live up to that
standard for myself. When you face
something like this, the first thing you
want to do is make it all just go away...
Well that was my first hurdle but now I
am faced with court, the twins, the
physical and emotional side of everything.
I cry everynight after putting my kids
to bed. I feel like my whole world has
been turned upside down... I don't
believe in our justice systems, I feel
like i'm the one paying for this guys
crime well all of us (including myself) as
tax payers are paying for his room and
board and food and everything. How is
that justice?
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-06-05 07:08am
You seem to be going through a lot of shyt
right now. Did u know the man who raped
you? How old are you? I commend you
for keeping the twins but are you sure you
can handle 2 more lil babies? The
justice system is f-ed up everywhere. A
lot of times it seems the criminals have
more rights than the victims but I guess
that's the way of the world. I hope you
start to feel better soon.
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fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 08-06-05 07:46am
I dont know how well you knew this person,
or if it was a horrible "alley act", but I
do commend you for standing up to your
belief system. That is indeed when
things are the hardest, when we are
challenged to prove who we are. Like I
am one of those pple that is honest when
it comes to money and every time the
cashiers give me extra money and I have to
give it back; is when I dont have any
money. So I try and question myself for
a second but never fails I always give it
back. I know that is a lot different
than carrying and raising twins from a
rape--im so proud of you.
Are the twins boys or girls or do you know
yet? Just always remember they are 1/2
you too. And raised correctly they dont
have to become like the father--as in "it
is a criminal act to rape someone"--even
if they started out your friend or
aquaintance. Well, actually even wore cuz
you may have found trust or put trust in
them, and then they "turned" on you and
dint respect or honour who you are.
I am just so sorry--but hang in there .
Every cloud has a silver lining.
All things work together to the good for
those that love jesus.
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Pocket Angel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2005 Posts: 241 Location: Thiells, New York
Posted: 08-06-05 07:52am
I find it ironic... That so many people
would love to mother twins... And here
you are, in a terrible situation... But
blessed to be having 2 of them!
I know you can do it, like said above.
These babies are half of you, just think
of them as little miracles that are here
to help you through this!
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Confusedmomof2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2005 Posts: 5 Location: Oklahoma
It's Me Again... Posted: 08-20-05 02:23am
Thank you all for your support and
encouragement. Things haven't gotten any
easier here lately. But I am still
trying to hang in there. In response to
you all's questions...
... No I didn't know the guy, my friend
meet this guy thought that we would hit it
off and without asking me or anything gave
him my phone number and address. Where
he then broke into my house later that
night. Luckily my daughters were both
sleeping and my four year old didn't come
out of her room or anything.
... Someone asked how old I am... I
will be 23 in the end of september.
... No I don't know if they are girls or
boys yet... I have had two ultrasound
pics done but I am only 12 weeks to the
day so it's a little early to tell yet.
Thanks for all the encouragement cause
believe me I need it. There are a lot of
negative people that will come across your
path when you are doing what you believe
to be right so it's good to hear positive
stuff. With everything going on it's
real easy to get caught up in the stress
of it all.
... My newest issue was that I had
decided not to press charges cause I
didn't want to deal with it and I have
been telling the police that over and over
and cause of the severity of the crime and
cause he knows where I live and assaulted
me they were really pressing me to press
charges on him before he got out of jail.
But before I could make up my mind I
ended up having a big punk kid follow me
and my kids to the local walmart and get
in my face and threaten me that if I
pressed charges he would see to it to
finish me off and all that kind of
stuff...
... For a while I was intimidated by the
whole situation and I told my friend that
I would be okay if I just did what they
said. She then told me that how could I
put my faith in criminals to know that
when he got out that nothing would happen.
Long story short... I ended up calling
the police... They looked over the
walmart security tapes and got the license
plate number and arrested this guy and it
ended up being the guy in jail's cousin.
... I am still scared about pressing
charges but I have decided due to my
friend's encouragement and the police
officer's telling me how much he could do
to help me if I pressed charges... In
the end I am pressing charges but everyone
just pray for me and my daughters that we
are all kept safe... Especially my
girls... Thanks for all your support.
Sincerly; confusedmomof2
