When I met him 4 years ago, I knew that he
is the one, and that he is the love of my
life.. But then I knew that he is totally
in love with her.. And that there is no
chance to have mutual feelings with me..
She wasn’t sure about her feelings
toward him.. They were going to be
engaged, but she changed her mind in the
last minute.
He then tried to date me seriously, he
even asked me to marry him, but he ran
away at the end because of a silly
reason.. But my gut told me that the real
reason is that he couldn’t move on and
still have feelings for her..
I still madly in love with him.. But I
keep that for myself.. He told me many
many times that I am among the top ten of
his best friends.. And we call each other
almost everyday..
Yesterday, he called me.. We talked for
about 6 hours! He talked about some
general matters.. Then… then… he
started to cry on the phone.. He started
to remember all the bad events that
happened in his life.. Then he said that
he can’t find anyone who can understand
him better than me, he believes that I am
the best listener he ever met.. But he
said also that he has a huge burdon that
he can’t bear it anymore and he needs to
talk about it to me and it will hurt me to
know it..
I told him I can never be upset from him,
and he can talk to me in any subject..
He was crying a lot.. It was the 1st time
in these 4 years I hear him crying.. I
know him that he is very tough and
strong.. I was very depressed for him..
He said that he still love that girl
madly, and that she is everything for
him.. He tried so many ways for 5 years
to let her know him and love him.. But
she could never made her mind.. Many
times she got very close to him.. And
when things got serious, she ran away and
left him with broken heart.. Then, he
started to move on, but she then got back
to him which made him forgive her and try
to start together again.. But this
vicious circle repeated itself for 5
years..
He told me she didn’t treat him like he
did to her.. I know her a bit since we
three work in the same field.. And I know
that he was very caring and supportive to
her when she lost her job, and due to his
efforts she got back her job, but she was
never thankful..
I told him that she is the type that can
never made a decision.. He agreed because
when they dated they went every date to
about 5 restaurants before she decides
which one is the best for her!!
I told him marriage is a huge
responsibility and if she cant decide
which restaurant is the best for your
date, then how she can decide about him or
about family issues in future? He was
shocked and like somebody has awaken him
from a deep sleep.. He said that I am
totally true and he was blind about her to
think about that.. He said that he
can’t accept such life and he has to
move on and will change his phone
number..
Anyway, I was crying bloods in my heart
when he was telling me all that.. But I
didn’t show it and I was ready to try to
convince her about him if that will make
him happy.. I will always support him
because he also always supports me..
He says that I also have to move on and
find someone else because he doesn’t
want me to experience the same scenario he
had.. I asked him to hold on and I went
and cried in another room for a minute..
And then I get back and behave like
nothing happen to me..
Then he didn’t stop apologizing that he
is very mean to tell me that, even though
he knows how much I love him.. But he has
no option and no one will understand his
feelings like I do.. I believe him and
not mad at him at all.. I am happy that
he trusts me.. But also my heart is
bleeding from pain.. I feel so lonely..
And I laugh painfully from this irony: the
love of my life comes to me to help and
support him through his breaking up with
the love of his life who is not me.. :(
fyi: we are, me and him, 25 year-old..
Sorry for this very long post, but I
wanted to share that with you all.. I
can’t talk about it to anyone.. And
thank you all for your patience and time..
^-^
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 08-10-05 15:57pm
I wish I could say it will work out
someday--but I dont know what to say at
all. I used to be the kind to hold on
forever--never worked out for me. I have
bleed in my heart from pain before so I
understand completely. And to be the
honorable friend and not let him know how
you were feeling so you could be there for
him, understand that too.
I have had many I held on forever and one
day I just quit waiting--and decided I
dint need anyone, and I would not hold up
my life anymore for anyone. Then I found
him, the one I love so deep I cant ever
leave. I put up with hurts and
disappointments almost every day, but the
love I have now is committment, no matter
what. Love is an act and if you can
still love no matter what they do or who
they are, then you can find true
happyness. Well, that is where I am now
anyway. May not be that way for you.
To find unconditional love is the greatest
gift. I always had this fairytale kind
of belief what love would be, but to truly
love someone in spite of themselves is a
wonderful thing. To find you really can
do that is a wonderful place to be.
I am not trying to say you dont love that
way or that your love needs to change, I
am just saying--i got over all of them and
found something wonderful for me!! When I
quit hanging on--when I quit thinking that
I had to have someone to live. I found
him--he is my life and I would not want
one minute without him ever.
Sorry so long
good luck and god bless you and those you
love.
|
Takai
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Aug 2005 Posts: 2
Posted: 08-12-05 13:49pm
Fatfamily02.. Thanx for your advice..
You are really very supportive.. Thank
you for sharing your experience..
Wish you the best all your life :)
|
sobs
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Aug 2005 Posts: 3
Your Answer + My Questions Posted: 08-27-05 06:41am
Hey..I just want to say its ok...
The same thing happen to me just 2 years
ago..
My ex and I broke up. I loved him
someone else loved me..My best friend.
While my ex and I havent contacted each
other b/c I choose not to if not I think
id fall in love with him all over again, I
talk to my best friend alot.
Its been 5 year my best friend liked me
and perhaps about the same way I love my
ex
honestly...If the guy doesnt want u...Why
wait?
Ive broken down so many times...Trying to
get him back
contemplating having sex with him to prove
that I loved him
and the worse part he was skinny and im
average that I figured that he love me if
I was perfect and now I have an eating
disorder which im trying to get rid of
after I lose more weight.
I tried to get into his cliche b/c I
thought that if I knew his friends and if
they liked me maybe he would love me more
but..Honestly I have to say if the guy
doesnt want you there is nothing much you
can do about it. I say this because ive
been thru this before...Its hard I agree
but sometimes we must pick ourselves up
and move on.
Now im contemplating on getting with my
best friend.
If there is anyone which can help me..I
need a couple of questions answered..
Should I get with my best friend?
I dont love him..But im sure I could live
with him.
I dont want to hurt him but im scared if I
get with him ill hurt him..
