I'm a 26 yr old mother of two and I have
been in a realtionship with their father
for 8 years. He has a violent temper and
has hit me in the past and made me do
things degrading and painful during sex.
I know that is abusive behavior. Lately
he just breaks everything and screams at
all of us. I messed up and was in a car
wreck while having a night out with my
friends. No dui, it was the weather.
Well, since I know his temper I lied, and
he found out some truths to what happened
that night and naturally blew up. It was
honestly just a fun night at a club. No
hanky panky, just drinking and dancing.
Well after he blew up, my best friend
called some friends and came by my house
to make sure he wasn't getting too violent
and it escalated into a fight between him
and some of the guys she called over.
Well now i'm suppose to have no contact
with any of these people ever again
outside of work and he's also trying to
get me to find another job. These people
stuck around after the accident and came
to check on me cause the were worried.
Seems awful kind and caring to me. He
reminds me everyday that if he sees me
around any of these poeple or sees these
people out and about he's going to hurt
them. Yet he still goes out whenever he
pleases and comes home drunk in the early
morning. This is all my fault cause I
lied to him like as if he was my father
and I was in for a big punishment. I
feel like i'm going crazy, all this is
making me so emotionally tired. It's
even affecting my body. Is this how
relationships usually go? I'm so
confused as to what he thinks and does and
why? Any advice or similar resolved
situations like this are greatly
appreciated.
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Interia
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Aug 2005 Posts: 28 Location: USA
Posted: 08-13-05 01:10am
Tif, you need to get out of this
relationship. He's being emotionally and
physically abusive, and is trying to
control your life. You do not have to be
going through this. You cannot be blaming
yourself for his actions or temper, that
is his problem. The best thing you can do
is take your children and leave. When
your kids grow up, their father may take
his anger out on them...If you can't find
a reason to leave, use the motherly
reason. Save your children, yourself, and
finish this relationship right now.
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tifmtly
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Aug 2005 Posts: 2 Location: USA
Posted: 08-22-05 16:42pm
Thanks interia,
i'm in therapy and she has explained to me
most of the reasons why I stay. I'm also
on some meds for depression and anxiety.
Thing is i'm afraid to tell him that I
what to leave with the girls, he will flip
out. But at the same time I feel like I
taking his kids away from him and vice
versa for my kids. I know he will make
it darn well near impossible to leave and
again I feel really guilty leaving when
he's gone and leaving a letter behind. I
really don't know what to do. I have a
place to go but it's in another state, got
any more advice? Thanks again.
