Broken Hearted Forum - Please Help Me- Does He Like Me Or Not?


Please Help Me- Does He Like Me Or Not?

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heartbroke

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 13 Aug 2005
Posts: 17

Please Help Me- Does He Like Me Or Not? Posted: 08-13-05 02:43am


Hi, i had been "seeing" this guy for almost 5months. He lives in another country. We get to know each other in a forum page. During the 1st month, it was chatting through emails, then phone calls, because of his business trip, he gets to come to my country and we catch up. We got imitate and he told me he likes me alot. He arrange for me to visit him in august and november. After we parted, we chat almost everyday, and weekends we are chatting online. But things start to change after he return from his nz business trip. He no longer send me emails with smilely icons, all his emails are 1-2 paragraphs short with a serious tone. He doesn't go online anymore. He doesn't call me that often anymore. And no more text. No more "i miss you". No more" I wish you are here". No more "xox". I told him I miss him serveral times, but he just say "well you are coming here soon". I catch up with his last week for 4 days. It was so different from our 1st encounter. He sat very far away from me while we watch tv. There's nothing much to talk about. And there was not a single time where he initate any closess. When I asked him, he said that the more I "pressure" him, the more he wouldn't want to do any of these things. But he still says that he likes me alot. How can I even tell whether he really likes me or not? Or is it that I did something that puts him off? Or he doesn't likes me as much as before? I had been confused for months. And i'm scare to bring it up....Cos everytime I bring it up, it just seems like it will "pressure" him and piss him off. My friends keep telling me he's not the man for me, I need time and attention and he doesn't have any of that for me. How do I approach him? He's not a man with many words.

sillypoint

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 16 Aug 2005
Posts: 11
Location: UK

Posted: 08-17-05 02:26am


I'm sorry to break it to you but he blatantly doesn't like you enough. If I was in his shoes and was deeply (or even mildly) in love with you i'd be showing you affection from the minute I saw you, especially if it was rare that I got to spend time with you. His excuse about u 'pressuring' him, it just that - an excuse. It sounds to me like he was in love with the idea of you and for some reason you two just didn't connect how he imagined, at least for him. Obviously he doesn't want to hurt you, and so he has continued to keep in contact, and after first meeting I think he probably felt like he had to act like nothing had changed, so as to not damage your confidence or hurt you. But the signals he is giving are blatant, if he isn't even telling u he misses u, wants you, or loves u, and in person he doesnt initiate anything affectionate, why are you still even asking? I think you are deeply into this guy and are refusing to see the obvious truth. It's hard but try to let him go and move on.. If I felt for a girl there is no way my actions would leave her in any doubt. He doesn't care for you like you care for him, so you need to move on sorry:( Last edited by sillypoint on 01-09-07 15:56pm; edited 1 time in total

heartbroke

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 13 Aug 2005
Posts: 17

How to Move On? Posted: 08-17-05 04:30am


Hello sillypoint, thank you for your response. I'm sorry to break it to you but he blatantly doesn't like you enough. If I was in his shoes and was deeply (or even mildly) in love with you i'd be showing you affection from the minute I saw you, especially if it was rare that I got to spend time with you. His excuse about u 'pressuring' him, it just that - an excuse. It sounds to me like he was in love with the idea of you and for some reason you two just didn't connect how he imagined, at least for him. --> I know this sounds very lame...But could it be that he's very exhuasted from his overseas trip, and a long flight...That he couldn't "express" his liking when I arrive? I do see a sense of excitement when he pick me up at the airport...And that lasted about 20mins... Obviously he doesn't want to hurt you, and so he has continued to keep in contact, and after first meeting I think he probably felt like he had to act like nothing had changed, so as to not damage your confidence or hurt you. -->doesn't he has a lot to bear too...I mean..If he doesn't like me anymore and he has to put up with the pretence..Whats this doing him any good? But the signals he is giving are blatant, if he isn't even telling u he misses u, wants you, or loves u, and in person he doesnt initiate anything affectionate, why are you still even asking? I think you are deeply into this guy and are refusing to see the obvious truth. It's hard but try to let him go and move on. --> we have some misunderstandings and misterpretation since june till july..I'm not sure about his character, so I don't know whether such factors will cause a barrier betteen us or not. Or is he still "huanted" by the misunderstandings and misterpretation that he has taken a step back. If I felt for a girl there is no way my actions would leave her in any doubt. He doesn't care for you like you care for him, so you need to move on sorry:( --> I know love is blind...I'm blind currently..Should I just continue liking him until i'm too tired from it?? Its really hard to move on....

fairywonderland

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 10

Oh My God Posted: 08-17-05 05:14am


Seriously, im sorry but you need to get over this guy. He isnt interested and it sounds more like he is tired of you than from his business trip. Sorry to tell you this, but maybe you should try dating someone you haven't met on the internet, someone who you'll actually get to see regularly. To be honest I don't think it's a good idea to meet people off the internet anyway. Last year I thought I would never meet anyone and then I met my fiance, who is wonderful and never leaves me in any doubt as to how he feels, its part of havin a loving relationship to let each other know if something is wrong. Dont waste yourself on the wrong person, because when you find the right person it will be totally worth your while.

heartbroke

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 13 Aug 2005
Posts: 17

Posted: 08-17-05 08:16am


Hello fairywonderland, i know people are trying to knock some sense into me...However, i'm also trying to see it from his point of view.. Its true what you say about meeting people on the internet. I'm very aware of the scams and cheats. But I had meet alan twice. Once when he come to my country. Twice is when he "invite" me to his home, he paid for the taxes of the airticket. As he put it, if he doesn' like me, he could have ask me not to take the trip. Not to go at all. Although all his actions doesn't match his word(that he like me) and I cannot comprehend why, I am also unsure whether I am partly the cause of this drift. Afterall, we have our small arguements and disputes. We come from very different background, jobscope and age group. This could add a factor too. I'm not sure. I agree...If i'm the outside party reading this post..I probably think that this guy doesn't like me at all..But i'm in the picture, its really hard to see from outside. I need to break away from the circle and see it from outside point of view. Also i'm very very scare that I make the wrong decision, im scare that he really does like me, but having his "down" time now...And things are going slower and not what I expect. I intend not to email or contact him for these 2 weeks...Just to see whether he contact me on his own or not...Just to see whether I mean anything. Of cos....It could also mean that he misses his attention(as how my friend puts it), and when he gets his attention, he will drift away again...I'm not sure.. When can we ever get right answers to love.......

snownix

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Jul 2005
Posts: 21

Posted: 08-20-05 20:57pm


It seems like he's trying to move on with his life, long distance relationships are so awkward and they make people feel like their being held away from other oppurtunuties. You have to understand that, eventhough if he does like you alot, there's still a chance that he's interested in other women that are around him- since it's long distance, it's kinda hard not to keep the relationship exclusive in serious matters. He might be looking for something more steady and reliable rather than a long distance relationship from time to time sees... I totally understand where you're at right now, but sometimes you just have to let them go and fly...

heartbroke

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 13 Aug 2005
Posts: 17

He's Avoiding Me Posted: 08-21-05 02:45am


He's not taking my calls, not replying my text and my emails. He's very busy and excited preparing for his car race next weekend. What have I done to deserve this treatment from him? I just wnat him to be happy. I did everything I can to make him happy, but it ends up that both of us are unhappy. He convience me before that long distance should be a factor because he travels to my country very often, he says that he can fly me up to see him and he says that age shouldn't be a problem too. I didn't want to be involved in long distance relaatinoship but I had fallen for him...And now he's treating me this way. Ignoreing me and foresaking my feelings. I'm feeling very upset and heartbroken. I have already paid for tickets to visit him during his birthday next month. But i'm not even sure whether he wants to see my face then. I'm very depress and I don't know how to deal with my heartache.... Why is he so coward? Why can't he come clean with his feelings instead of avoiding me? I did nothing wrong at all to care for him. When did I become a nuiscience and someone that he dreaded. Please tell me if I should still go and visit him next month? I tried to stop contacting him but i'm too weak.....I want to speak to him, hear from him so much, I want to confront and clarify him so much..But I know he's a man with little words...A coward.