Recently me and my x gf split up, due to
her cheating on me. She was totally
crazy about me and she went through a
period of depression and guilt after, and
has since begun dating another guy,
telling me she went with him because it
was 'difficult to turn down sum1' who
offered her love, and because she 'always
needed someone'. After a while of
this she was texting me saying she loved
me and wanted me back, until 2 weeks ago
she found out she is pregnant with his
baby(she doesnt believe in abortion).
They are now engaged (because neither of
them wants to bring a child up outside of
marriage) and she is living with him, and
when speaking to me all she could do is
cry. They have been dating just
over a month, I dont know what to tell
her. They are also both only 18.
I dont believe she would text me every
day if she truly loved this guy, but I
cant offer a home and i'm not the father..
And I don't want her back now
anyway, so she hasnt got much choice but
to try and make him and the family work
(her parents are both dead). But I
care about her and it seems to me she is
feeling forced into doing all of this, and
is going to end up either a single mother
or stuck in an unloving relationship
(which hurts both parents and the kids).
She won't talk to me anymore because
it makes her cry everytime - she wants me
back but has now been forced to stay with
this other guy. Should I advise her
or do I have to just stand by and wait
until she finds out the hard way?
Or is it possible that she is lying to me
in her texts to keep me as a backup (altho
she has now broken off all contact), and
maybe she really loves this guy and the
marriage could work? Any opinions
gratefully received.
Last edited by sillypoint on 08-16-05 18:59pm; edited 2 times in total
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Glamorgirli
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 193 Location: Michigan
Posted: 08-16-05 18:55pm
No matter what you tell her, she will do
what she wants to do. I say she will
eventually learn that she made a bad
decision to stay in this bad relationship.
I have a friend who is in an abusive
relationship, but no matter what I tell
her she says she loves him and blah blah
blah they wont listen to you! I say tell
her what you think about her situation and
say that your there for her. But she has
to want to do the right thing herself!
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brian_may
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 5
Posted: 08-22-05 14:05pm
I would question her stability, especially
after sounding so desperate (ie. "always
needed someone"). Perhaps what she needs
to do is make up her mind to love this
other guy, no matter what, and to make the
family the best they can make it. You
backing off might help her make the
decision too - no one wants to be a backup
plan! Given time, being a mother and wife
may even out into the best thing for her
since it will make her stick to one
situation and one man.
