Hi im 15 years old im turnin 16 im a few
days, a few months ago I found out I was
pregnant wen I told my boyfriend he left
me and ran off with my best friend, I
wasnt sure what I wanted to do about it
all but wen itold my mum she made me have
an abortion I was about 2/3 months
pregnant n I really wasnt sure what I
wanted to do and im still not sure if I
wanted to keep it or not after I had the
abortion my whole personality changed I
used to be loud and outgoin but now I am
having to put on a front to all of my
friends as they see me as the hard girl
(if you know wat I mean) I also cut my
self just so I could watch it bleed, this
is not a new thing I used to self harm a
few years back I must have been about 12
and I started doing it because I was
rapped by 8 boys and I couldnt go to the
police my mum doesnt know about the rapes
an I dont think icould ever tell her,also
when I was 14 the boy I was with used to
hit me and I became sucidal and tried
overdosing yet I havent been able to talk
to anyone about all of this I just keep it
all inside I get drunk to try and forget
it all people call me names cos I got
pregnant n sit in my room alone and just
cry all night, I got excluded from skool
for tryin to stab a girl that called me
stuff,i really think I am twisted and
think that the only way to end all of my
pain is to kill myself. Sorri its so
depressing and sorri if yo cant read it.
Please can some talk to me and try and
help me :!:
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kismit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Aug 2005 Posts: 114 Location: tx
Posted: 08-17-05 23:58pm
Wow you have definately have lived some
kinda life. Im not gonna lie to you and
tellyou I know what it feels like to go
through anything you have but I will tell
you that your hurting yourself gravely and
you shouldnt feel like you need to end
your own life. Ive been through some
tough stuff too and felt alot of what you
have felt but in the back of your mind and
at the bottim of your heart you know that
you are worth more then caving into those
demons. The truth is you might only have
you and the world has so much awesome
twists and turns that you shouldnt wanna
exclude yourself out of any of that. You
deserve just as much happiness and bliss
as the next person. Find that within
yourself and hold onto it.
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fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 08-18-05 01:04am
Just dont give up
god please see this child right now, help
her as you see fit.
Thank you god--i ask this is jesus name
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SadMommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 194 Location: California
Posted: 11-10-05 18:18pm
Hi vicky, I guess I am just alittle
confused....??....I read your other post
and you had said you had an abortion? Did
yo have your baby or did you have an
abortion? How are you doing? I realize
it has been a few months but I like to
check on people.....
Love, tammy
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SadMommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 194 Location: California
Posted: 11-10-05 18:20pm
Not confused anymore, sorry I reread your
post....I would really like to know how
you are doing? I hope good and trying to
stay young...
Love, tammy
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3332 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 98
Thanked:159
Posted: 11-10-05 21:24pm
I went through almost same thing, I was
raped and my mom never believed me which
was the difference, I know things are hard
but I made it through you just need to
rebuild your self esteem which can take
awhile. I went into kickboxing and was
already playing soccer, I lost alot of
weight(cause I was eating my emotions and
gained alot weight) I built a self esteem
and was able to carry my head high and it
felt good. I also have slashed my arms
to the point I got admitted to hospital
because I was suicidal and really there is
no point when you realize how much
potential you have.
I wish I could help you go through this
you really need to talk to someone and get
into something you enjoy doing sports,
martial arts, crafts etc, I also sing and
play guitar and I found that by writing
songs or just singing it helps and makes
me feel brighter. Somedays will be
really tough but keep your head high, I
was also in an abusive realtionship that
ended in me getting pregnant and I had an
abortion because the father had raped me
and violated me in a way I cant explain
its like a shower never cleansed me of the
dirt and I felt so dirty. After all the
stuff I went through I stopped dating men
and started looking towards woman but I
wasnt game enough for it, ironically when
I least expected it I met someone who
helped me get off drugs and turned my life
around and he is now my bestfriend and
husband.
I'm 21 and to be honest, i'm proud that I
survived the bs the world put me through
and I still go through it till this day
but I know how to deal with it alot
better. If you ever want to chat send me
a message and i'll try and help email: je
ssica_lyne2@hotmail.Com
take care and lotz of hugs
jess
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Shazzy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2005 Posts: 29 Location: Australia
Posted: 11-14-05 00:14am
Well sweetpea I also had an abortion at 15
so I can say I do know what it feels like
to have a parent make that decision for
you. Really at that age everything is
confusing, I can't say it was for the best
because I don't know you, however reading
your post says to me that you have so many
issues that you have to deal with in your
life right now, and honey i'm telling you,
having a baby to look after as well as all
the other stuff you've got going on would
be a disaster. Do you really think
bringing a baby into your life right now
is what you really need??? My advise it
to go and see a preofessional about your
problems (that's if you want the help)
sooner or later you will have to let
someone into your life to help you,
talking is healing. I too done many
silly things after my abortion and finally
got help and sorted myself out. I'm
still with the same fella I was when I was
15 and we have 3 beautiful kids and
expecting our 4th in 6 weeks. Don't give
up and talk talk and talk. If you want
to talk to me just let me know and i'll
give my e-mail address to you.
