I was browsing through the Dr. Phil
website and found this. I think it's
wonderful and has some very good points
for teens to consider.
It's one of the biggest decisions we make
in our lives. And sometimes, spouses
don't see eye to eye on the matter.
Ideally, you should talk to your partner
about having children before marriage. If
you're already in a committed lifelong
relationship and debating whether or not
to become parents, Dr. Phil has some
discussion points:
# consider the statistics: the reality of
3 a.M. Feedings, changing 10,000 diapers
and the fact that a baby born in 2002 will
cost $250,000 by age 18! Are you ready to
sign up for this?
# a child should be wanted, not needed.
Don't give a child a job before they're
even here -- the job of saving your
marriage, of making your spouse settle
down, of living out your unfulfilled
dreams, etc.
# remember that everyone loves puppies,
but they do become dogs! Likewise,
adorable babies do become teenagers. Make
sure that you're not fixated on the
infancy stage of a child's life and are in
it for the long haul.
# keep in mind that if you're happy with
your home life as it is, a new addition
may disrupt the balance. You have a
responsibility to keep the family healthy
and intact for the kids who are here and
not strain it by having another if it will
threaten your marriage or family.
# in order to have a baby, it takes a
"yes" from two people. But it only takes
a "no" from one person to stop it. Both
of you need to be comfortable with having
a child. Don't force your partner into
parenthood. It could lead to resentment,
threaten your relationship and be bad for
the child.
# if one of you wants to have a baby and
the other one is concerned about the
financial demands, ask yourselves if you
are willing to downgrade your lifestyle in
order to afford a child. If so, negotiate
a budget that makes both of you
comfortable.
# if you're in disagreement, ask yourself
whether the problem is not that you're not
getting an answer, but that you're not
getting the answer you want. Could you
not be hearing your partner's differing
opinion? Or could you not be hearing that
your partner is not commited to you?
# don't feel guilty if the desire to have
a baby isn't there. A lot of women think
there's something wrong with them if they
don't want to have a family. There
isn't.
# this is a big commitment. If the
decision to have a child is a close call,
don't do it. No matter how much you
estimate what the sacrifices and demands
will be, you're not even close.
# life is about choices. You choose your
behavior, and therefore you choose your
consequences. Don't choose the behavior
if you can't deal with the consequences.
Babies are a lot easier to make than they
are to raise.
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pink_lips_04
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2003 Posts: 20 Location: Texas
Well.... Posted: 11-26-03 10:27am
Yes, those are really good tips and
everything but I believe that a baby
happens for a reason because god wanted it
to happen. If he thinks your ready above
then you will get your baby. I"m not
pregnant; but me and my boyfriend are
thinking about it. And we love each other
very much and we've been together going on
3 years and both of us want it but I
haven't gotten pregnant so I belive it's
a sign from god that he doesn't want me to
have it yet. But thanks for delievering
the tips...They are tips that everyone
needs to think about..We have some money
put away already. Yes, they will always
grow up but you'll still love them the
same...Thanks again for the tips...
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 11-26-03 11:38am
I saw that too tanya! Lol. Im always in
the Dr. Phil site. He has some good
advise. Especially in relationships! Im
always printing things for jose to read!
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 11-26-03 17:24pm
Last edited by insurancegirl on 09-29-04 10:40am; edited 1 time in total
