Ive been dating my boyfriend for a little
over 7 months, im 3 in a half months
pregnant by him and I guess that's why im
still with him through everything that's
happened.Im just not in love with him
anymore. When we first started datin, it
was exciting and romantic but now its
like.. Blah.I don't trust him anymore and
I know that without trust we don't have
anything to hold us together.But he's lied
to me too many times for me to trust
him.We both have a huge anger problem but
we're going through anger management
before the baby comes. I think we're just
too much alike and its killing us. I
think he feels the same way sometimes. I
just feel like the only reason we are
still together is because of the baby, I
grew up without a daddy and I wouldn't
dare put that upon my child. I want to
make the best life possible for my child
but I dont feel like I can do it without
him. I would be lost without him in my
life right now, I love him, im just not in
love with him.I have no clue on what to
do.
|
KellyR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Aug 2005 Posts: 90
Posted: 09-04-05 03:19am
Tough choice...Do you have any parents to
live with, or can you support yourself and
the baby? It is very nice of you that you
want your child to have a dad but if you
stay with a man that you don't love and
don't trust, you will only be unhappy and
so will your child be. You could try
couple therapy....Maybe you can learn to
trust each other again and discover that
"flame" that was there in the
beginning...
But if you can't, than separate. Even if
you are not lovers anymore, he can still
be a father to your child...And a very
good father...It is up to him. Meanwhile
you may find someone to love and love you
back and this way your baby will have two
fathers...It will be hard for the little
one to understand what is going on at
first but if you manage to communicate
well he/she will learn to live with it and
get along.
But make sure you don't have several
partners because this way the baby will be
very confused and is more likely to
develop trauma. He/she will need a stable
man in his/her little life. It is better
without than with man walking in and out
on the baby's life. So you will need to
be extra careful with whom you choose for
a partner and only after you are sure he
is the one you should you introduce him to
the baby's life.
Try therapy first though...For your baby's
sake....It is true it won't die from you
and his/her dad being separated but it is
a million time better for the baby to have
both natural parents with him.
It is your choice and yours alone...But
think hard before making it....You now
make decisions for two... :)
