Single and Struggling Forum - Virgin Just Turned 28! Please Help!


Virgin Just Turned 28! Please Help!

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Medical Questions

If you could have waited till you met the right person, would you have saved your virginity for them?

Yes

65%

[ 32 ]

26%

[ 13 ]

Hell No

[ 4 ]

Total Votes : 49

Author

Message

confusedagain

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 1

Virgin Just Turned 28! Please Help! Posted: 09-04-05 12:17pm


I just turned 28 this month, and I have really not had all of the experiences that most normal 28 year olds have had. I started working when I was about 15 years old and have always been around people that are older than me. I guess something about not experiencing things that people your own age are supposed to does something to your mental perspective on how you are supposed to act. Another thing, I still look really young.. I look more like i'm 19 and not 28. As time went on I thought I would just get my career together and then find the right person and settle down and start a family.. Well! I'm ready, but what now? How do I start? I'm so far behind. I have great people skills, but no "pickup" skills.. I am who I am, do I need to change that to meet people? What do I do to make myself into someone who will not be embarrassed to speak to a woman about things that are sexual? I am not good at flirting. I need help! I have friends, but they are all older and experienced, married and or have kids, and I would never tell them I am a virgin. How will I realistically find a woman? I don't go out to clubs, I don't like clubs for that reason. I don't like bars because I guess I just don't have anyone to go with. Grrrrr!!!! In my line of work, I do and can meet some great woman, thats the only place! Oh well, I guess in my mind I just thought things would work themselves out on their own, but it looks like I will have to work them out.. I just never thought it would be so dog gone hard! Why is it so easy for some people? Is it that they have no shame? Or they have that thing that woman are looking for? As for my penis size, I am around 7" and I don't have any problems with that.. Woman older than me are always saying, "oh, if I were not married" or "i'd want my daughter to date someone like you". I am stuck in my shell!!!!! I know I can be a fun person and a great boyfriend. I have so much to give and I want a relationship. One thing I must say is that I am a happy person, even though I havn't had a relationship I feel good. I am not ashamed, and I still enjoy myself. But I want more. I know i'm missing something more special than I could imagine. I want to love. Thank you for reading..

truckstophero

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 84
Location: alabama

Posted: 09-05-05 19:58pm


You have no idea how many people are in your same position. I know 30 year old virgins who are just amazing people, but they are waiting for the right person cause they hear so many stories of people who met their right one and regretted having slept around before. If you believe in soul mates then 28 is not young, it can happen any time in your life... Just keep waiting if thats what you believe in.

BPjoe23

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 11 Oct 2005
Posts: 111
Location: dfw tx

Posted: 10-11-05 17:32pm


Just keep waiting bro, don't let others and the tv make your chose. The right girl will come along, my advice would be just to be your self and get use to being around girls and have a lot of girls that are your friends. When a good girl comes along you will know it.

overlyworried

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 08 Oct 2005
Posts: 52
Location: Texas

Posted: 10-11-05 19:24pm


Alright, alright. I'm here. You can love on me. I'm just kidding! (i'm kinda down in the dumps ... So I gotta make jokes to keep myself sane, lol). I, for one, like men who are in their shell. Gives me a challenge. And don't worry about sexual talk - if you feel comfortable with that person, then it will all come natural without any embarrassment. There's that woman out there for you! She'll come along in due time. In the meantime, don't change yourself! You don't want to be someone that you're not! Take this time to enjoy life and she'll come along when you least expect it :-) good luck!

Loki_

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Joined: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 29

Waited Til the Right Time Posted: 10-19-05 20:30pm


I waited to lose mine at the right time. I think you just need to know when the right time is the right time. I didn't lose mine with the person I ended up with, but I lost it when I was ready to. I think waiting is good because I waited til I was 22 and the person I was with was a really great person and treated me the uttmost best. You just have to be comfortable with it, and make sure that this person respects you and loves you before jumping into anything you'd regret.

nightangel73

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Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 2380
Location: North Carolina

Thanks: 11

Thanked:1

Good Thread Posted: 11-10-05 19:37pm


Since I was a virgin until I was 31 years old I want to give my feedback here. I agree with the other person that one should wait until one is ready. For me I was ready at 31. I was raised with high moral values and did not felt comfortable with the idea of having sexual relations before marriage. At 31 I became ready so there you go. Looking back now I do wished I had lost it sooner, like at 25. I think I missed good youth years of enjoying sex with a young body. I did really wished I had a husband in my 20's, I wanted to be with the right person, but the right person never came. I really agree with waiting but that only works if you are able to marry young.

lovely73

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Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Posts: 1
Location: Palos Hills, IL

Re: Good Thread Posted: 11-18-05 18:52pm


I am a 32 year old virgin, and I can tell you I have not, and probably never will find the "one". I do agree with everyone on this thread, esp. The last one, my only regret is not having done it while I was younger. Don't get me wrong, holding onto my virginity this long was a long and arduous task in and of itself, but as I get older, I am coming to the awful realization that I may not want to hold onto it any longer. At times I am fearful of what will happen if I do, but along with that fear comes the other side of thinking, "but you are a grown woman able to deal with the circumstances, good or bad." I think had my mother let me have fun as a teen (going to dances, movies, activities with my friends), instead of telling me "no" every time someone asked me to go somewhere, I might have been better able to deal with such issues as why men can be such a$$heads. I've had to learn the hard way, through trial and error (more error than trial). Every man i've met turned out to be such jerks, it made my decision to stay a virgin all the easier. But I keep asking myself (and the lord): "when will it be my time? My turn to enjoy what people have been talking about since the beginning odf time?" I don't think it's the end of the world if you don't lose your virginity right away, but it's like you are missing something vital by not having experience it. I think that, if you are still a virgin, you should be cautious and confident of the person you give it to, because if he/she is not the right person, then you'll come to regret that decision.

youngandpregnant

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Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Posts: 62
Location: London, UK

I Wish I Waited Posted: 11-18-05 19:50pm


I wish I waited for the longer. On my birthday I was so happy I was a virgin I was so pleased even tho pretty much everyone I knew werent even tho guys tried to push me into it. I felt speical but then I fell in love with this amazing guy and one thing lead to another and now i'm pregnant. I do regret giving it up to him and just wish I wait until I was much older and more mature. When some of my friends hear of people who are virgins in theres 20 and 40 they laugh but i'm amazed. I wish I had that self control. I think if your waiting for the right person dont rush to find them take you time.

Porcelain Doll

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Joined: 25 Nov 2005
Posts: 3

Posted: 11-25-05 16:15pm


Um... It seems like everyone here thinks of virginity as something special that should be saved for the one. I am not saying this is a bad thing, but it may not be right for everyone. I for one decided one day when I were 18 that I didn't want to wait for something that may never happen, so I went out and seduced an older friend of mine. He didn't know I was a virgin, and in some ways I am glad I didn't tell him, because he would probably have been overly careful, and may even have said "no" had he known. As it was it was a good experience, and I have never regretted it. I have since then had two relationships, which both fell apart, so I guess neither of them were the one. But we had great sex while it lasted, and I am sure that when/if I do find the one he won't mind that i'm not a virgin. I don't expect him to be. And if he does mind, well, then I guess he isn't the one for me after all. ;) as for your question of how to start. I would think that setting out to become friends with someone you find attractive is a good start. Even if that person isn't the right one, you will at least have tried. And flirting can be so many things. A shy smile, a shared joke, an "accidental" brush of your hand over hers, holding a door open for her... The list goes on and on. Just keep in mind that a lot of women don't like the openly sexual, lecherous kind of attention, but more the carefully phrased innuendos or romantic gestures. So pinching her butt on the first date may be a bad move. ;)

princessdiana7586

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Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 49

Posted: 12-07-05 14:58pm


I have always been working around people older than me too- which is probably why i'm friendless! Haha, i'm only 19...The one time I did work with someone close my age was my boss (at my last job) who was 24 and I was 18...After he quit we kept in touch and now we've been dating and totally in love! We always talk about how we didn't even think about eachother like that when we were working together...So you never know how things will work out for you! As for sex for the first time...I definitly wished I would have waited to do it with my current boyfriend. I love him so much and feel guilty that I ever slept with anyone else!! So even though he wasn't really my first time, I consider him to be my 'real' first time, because nothing will ever compare to being with him!

confussed15

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Joined: 13 Dec 2005
Posts: 3
Location: Ohio

Please Help Me I Am Terrible Confused Posted: 12-13-05 14:13pm


I am a 15 year old girl who just recently started to go through puberty. I have know this guy for about a year now and I want to get intimate with him but at the same time I don't want to ruin my first time(by the way he is 18)... I am being put on birth control by a place called plan parent hood and I am ready if the moment comes but I need some advice if I am doing the right thing thank you for reading sincerely confused

princessdiana7586

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Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 49

Re: Please Help Me I Am Terrible Confused
Posted: 12-13-05 14:16pm

confussed15 wrote:

i am a 15 year old girl who just recently started to go through puberty. I have know this guy for about a year now and I want to get intimate with him but at the same time I don't want to ruin my first time(by the way he is 18)... I am being put on birth control by a place called plan parent hood and I am ready if the moment comes but I need some advice if I am doing the right thing

thank you for reading
sincerely confused

what are you confused about? I don't think you should have sex unless you're really ready and are sure this is someone you trust and want to be with. What business does an 18 year old have with a 15 year old? I'm sorry, but I find that disgusting.

mary0501

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 22 Dec 2005
Posts: 3
Location: tampa

Posted: 12-23-05 00:12am


Oh, don't worry about it, you will find that special someone out there and it will probably be true love. I am sort of in the same boat (not a virgin) however, my problem is I work with all younger guys. I am 36 but look like I am in my 20's. Most of my son's friends think I am his sister when they first meet me. Lol anyways, I am a divorced single mom of 3 and just can't find that right person. As a matter of fact, I cant find anyone. Everyone at work is much younger then me and I don't like the bar scene. I have no idea where to go to meet people. So, keep your chin up my friend.

Kiemister

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Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 136
Location: ,

I Lost Mine @ 13, And Im Proud! (ima Guy..explains It All..) Posted: 12-30-05 18:25pm


13 years old, and at that point, I was able to masterbate non stop for about an hour and a half. Today, im 22, and able to have sex for 4 + hours. Am I ashamed, no. I dont think that their is such thing as the "one", nor do I see virginity as somethin amazing. Lets be real, the first time hurts like hell for the ladies, not the guys, so consider my position. Any way. I was ready to get laid, and I decided to do it with my best friend ....Err... I should mention that my best friend was a girl ok? Im straight as a pixel... The amazing thing was, it was incredible. It was weird, since I saw her as a sister, and I was like her brother, always protecting her. I took 2 bullets to the chest for her when I was 17. To this day, we are still best friends that have sex. I mean, we go to the same college, everything. We room together. The thing is, we dont concider eachother as a couple. Instead, I think of her as someone who I always will have by my side, and always with me. Eventually, I think we will get married, but now, we are just friends who have sex, kiss, and all that. I know we both have deep feelings for eachother, but its the fact that I known her for my whole life, and growin up with her... Just.. Weird. I also have a sister by blood. But she hates rachel.... Yeah, rachel is my best friends name if u didnt get that.. I guess what im saying is, you dont know who the one really is, ever. I didnt think rachel would have been the one, but over time, I have realized it. I love her like crazy, and I would kill/die for her. U think im crazy? I think I am. Crazy about her, crazy in love, but, most of all, im sex crazy. I say, if u want to wait, go ahead. But dont lock yourself into some imaginary world. My veiw: there is no person that is just, "the one". Instead, u have to make them, th one. I learned rachel was the one for me when I was in the hospital, and I was dieng, the doctor said I was dieng, and no chance of survival. All I wanted was to die. But then, I looked over my right shoulder, and saw rachel. She was my reason to live, and at that moment I fainted. I wake up and she is screaming, just crying next to me.... It was one moment I could never forget. I kno I got to much into detail, but I just wanted to open your minds.

raziel1687

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Joined: 11 Aug 2006
Posts: 33
Location: Florida

Re: Please Help Me I Am Terrible Confused
Posted: 08-22-06 23:38pm

confussed15 wrote:

don't. Wait until you are 18 and legally an adult at least, and then you can do whatever you want. You will only regret it. You are too young and have very limited knowledge of anything. You could accidentally get pregnant, get aids, anything bad could happen, so wait until you are an adult at least and can be prepared for these consequences.

smileyface

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Joined: 06 Nov 2005
Posts: 15
Location: California

Posted: 08-23-06 18:49pm


I'm a 36 year old female virgin and I want to lose my virginity to my lt boyfriend or husband.Yes I never been on a date with a man but I still believe the right man is out there for me. I'm not going to give up and have sex with the first man that comes into my life.

ben81

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Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 3
Location: Arizona

Posted: 11-05-06 23:57pm

bpjoe23 wrote:

just keep waiting bro, don't let others and the tv make your chose. The right girl will come along, my advice would be just to be your self and get use to being around girls and have a lot of girls that are your friends.

When a good girl comes along you will know it.

for sure.

just don't play world of warcraft and you will be set Laughing

Simon_New_Zealand_01

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Joined: 07 Nov 2006
Posts: 3
Location: Invercargill, New Zealand.

Hire a Hooker Man! Posted: 11-07-06 11:23am


They're only $ nz 80 for half an hr. I've had about 12 hookers, never caught an std, always use condoms, and becoz i've had so many, normal girls find you more attractive, because you've got confidence, and know how to interact with a lady in intimate situations. Plus it's great fun.

tim_horton

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 63
Location: Ottawa

Posted: 11-12-06 14:32pm


Sex is a natural and healthy thing and I don't see why it should be avoided for a significant portion of one's life. (ie: 20's and 30's) however, if someone feels that they need to save it for that special person, I respect that. People place different levels of value of different things.

tim_horton

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 63
Location: Ottawa

Re: Hire a Hooker Man!
Posted: 11-12-06 14:34pm

simon_new_zealand_01 wrote:

they're only $ nz 80 for half an hr. I've had about 12 hookers, never caught an std, always use condoms, and becoz i've had so many, normal girls find you more attractive, because you've got confidence, and know how to interact with a lady in intimate situations. Plus it's great fun.

i've known 3 guys who lost their virginity to prostitutes. They were all very ashamed as they told me this. They said I was the first woman they'd told this to, and that they doubted they would tell any other woman about it. They felt it degraded them.