I'm Lost I Need Help Confused And Scared

Ok so I am going to sound like every other pregnant woman in america right about now. Well it all started on february 7 of this yr. I found out that I was pregnant with our first baby. Needless to say my husband and me had only been married a month. So we were not ready to have a baby just yet.
We knew that if we wanted to have kids we would have to start pretty soon though so we thought maybe come november. So we went to the dr and to our surprise we found out that I couldn’t even have that long, if we wanted to become parents we would have to start now. So when we went home we talked about it and deiced that we would start planning for a baby that july. Here is the catch I had already been off of my bc for about two weeks prier to that visit and had not had a pregnancy test done.
Well one morning I had been sick and throwing up and for the last couple of days I had been getting up at 3 and 4 in the morning. So I decided to take a test to see if maybe I was pregnant well guess what I was. So I went to my husbands work and was like hunny sit down I have something to tell you. At first he was like that cant be right we didn’t plan it for now we weren’t supposed to get pregnant till july, but I was. I couldn’t believe this man. He was mad at a miracle. I mean we had just heard from the dr that there was really no possibility that I could ever get pregnant and now that I was he didn’t want it. I was so confused on what to do. At first I was like should I keep it or not to save my marriage then I was like what the hell no I have wanted a child my whole life and I have already lost one there is no way in hell that I am going to let some male tell me that I cant have my baby so I keep her. Soon after that I went to the Dr. I should have been about 2months by this time. Well the dr said I see the sac but there is no baby. I am sorry we will give it another week and see if we can find the baby. First I want to get some blood and see if your count is rising like a pregnant woman’s should or if it drops. That way we will know if you’re still going to have a baby.
Ok so you mean to tell me this baby that I chose over my husband might not even be there. I have already grown to love it so much you can’t take it away. I just don’t understand. Well that next monday the dr’s office called me and was like don’t worry I have good news. You are still pregnant you are just a week less than we thought so we really shouldn’t see the baby until now. You should be due oct 21 and not oct 12. So with several months of getting used to the idea that we were going to have a baby my hubby became very excided. I think it was really around the time that he heard her heart beat and saw that tiny little thing on the screen.

Well that brings us today I am now 8months and one week pregnant in other words 35weeks pregnant. This weekend was the week from hell once againi came home friday afternoon and found my mama cat dead then on sunday I had to put down her two kittens. They had distemper. So they were starting to get really sick like the mama so we did what we thought was best for them. Well yesterday I started having stronger contractions and leaking more than normal.
I just knew that it was my water breaking because my plug had been out for two weeks so I knew it was time. Well my husband and me debated all afternoon on going to the hospital to see if it was really time or not. So finally I gave in and went. Once again a false alarm I came home empty handed no baby and no babies to come home to (cat and kittens). I was so hurt. I felt so cheated. I thought ok I just lost three cats in one weekend and your telling me that I still have to wait to have this baby when you just told me a week ago that I was already in stage one of labor so I should be having her pretty soon. How far is that? Yeah I know life isn’t fare but it hurts so bad. I feel so alone. I can’t get my mind on anything else today but that. I want my baby and my kittens. You know the one I thought I would never have and now its only days away. It was right there in my grasp and I lost it. What is a woman to do? I just really need some advice I am losing sleep that I know in months I will need. Really what do I do?