Well first off you say your family is "christian" but yeah they tell you its not christian like to have a baby without being married and what not but it is also not christian like to have an abortion. So how much "christian" can they possibly be.
As for yourself I think you should keep the baby and you obviously want to have the baby dont listen to what others have to say. Do it for yourself. All you got to worry about is if you are financially stable enough to have a baby. And you say you love this baby and I know you do cause you bond with your baby right away then dont smoke take care of this baby.
And as for this jerk guy that you call your boyfriend. Leave him. Trust me you are better off without him. We all know that he still married. And he is just using his kids as an excuse. He thinks his kids are too young that it isnt right but do you think its right him cheating on his wife like that and him never being around. So my advice is to leave him. You dont need to have a man to raise a baby you can do it even though a daddy would be good but if the daddy acts like that the baby is better off with just you.
You gotta think about you and your baby and whats best for the both of you. Not whats best for him or your family. If your family disowns you then they are the ones that are sinning and they are the ones at fault and they will come around sooner or later.

Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts - I agree with you - just scared that my baby will be short changed already - I cant see myself going through with the abortion tomorrow - even if my parents never speak to me again - it is there loss and if I have an abortion - ill never want to speak to them again - and do you believe that with the christian thing - contradiction - huh!! I know that it just comes down to them worried what other people in there community think - its too bad - those people have nothing to do with my life! Thanks again - hope your pains lighten up!! Hope its something normal

I hope you decide to keep the baby. You already know that the man is a loser. You already know that deep inside he is not right for you. You just need to have to courage to cut him off once and for all. These types of situations very seldom work out in favor of "the other woman" in the end. That is what you have allowed yourself to be. "the other woman." I have to wonder what the heck you were thinking messing with a married man. You really should think more highly of yourself. You deserve better than that!

No, you didn't know he was at first. I realize that. But, he has lied from yo from the very beginning, leading you to believe that he wasn't married with a family. Who knows what other things he has lied to you about? I wonder how many "other women" there are, too? I am sure you are not the only one! He knows no other way. He will be a lier and cheater for his entire life. Is this the type of life you want for yourself?????

I also have to wonder what in the heck is wrong with his wife that she has allowed this to go on, has allowed herself to be treated in this way? I have never known a woman not to question a man's odd behavior. It is obvious that she must think rather lowly of herself, and she does not have the courage to leave this man, even though she knows she should. She must be a very miserable woman.

As for your relationship with him after the child is born, well that can be touchy. If you completely want him out of your life you can ask that he sign over any and all rights to the child. This means he will not be able to have contact with the child, or you, and he will not have to pay any kind of support.

The other alternative would be to list him as the father, in which case he will have to pay child support. But then you run into also having to allow him visitation rights. This, in turn, will mean that he will be a constant in your life as long as his interest holds in you. Who knows how long that will be. One day he may just decide that he doesn't want the responibility of you holding a baby over his head and just up and leave you both, going back to being that "good husband and daddy" to his family.

I will warn you of this, though, I already see that should you choose this route he will definately use your child as a "bargaining tool" against you. He will use your child to make you feel guilty about any decisions you make, just as he already does this with his two sons and wife.


As for you family I say to heck with them. They are losing sight of what is most important here, and that is you and your feelings. Though they may claim to be christians, they are anything but! And god-fearing true christian would never suggest an abortion. Any god-fearing true christian should know and give unconditional love. If they should choose to cut you from their lives because of this they should be ashamed of themselves! Let me tell you that later on down the road they will very much regret doing this if they go through with it. When that time cmes it will be up to you whether or not to forgive them.

Evryones right here.
Dump the guy, keep the baby, and really once that baby is born i'm sure your family will be around. Even if their not leave the door open for them, they will one day walk though it.

As for the baby, the fathers rights and what not.. You can go after him for child support or just leave it be but don't alow him to use that baby against you! In most child custody cases the mothers are in favor of the court. Guys are just dicks with brains that work half the time, most of the time. Keep you eyes open one day you will find mister right and he will be only yours and your new babys. I got lucky on that my husband of 4 years took my 2 year old and 3 month old baby for a year before we were married. We now have 4 kids he considers himself the girls father. It will happen not saying it will happens soon but eventually.

Babys are gods gift to us... (i'm not big on abortion) and gifts are miricales in themselfs....

Think of it this way... God will not give you anything you can't handle.... You want this baby then keep it. Your family will come around.

My family is cristian too and really they haven't shunned me or my 2 girls (born out of wedlock). Yes I admit I got on preaching too but never did they turn away from me.

I think in her first post, the first 3 years they were dating and living together, the man she is seeing told her he was divorced. He lied to her, but I don't blame her for not being able to let go. You fall in love with someone, you want to hold on to that, its not easy!

As for the baby, I deifnitely think you should keep it. Like you said, your 29 years old and financially stable... You can do this! Your parents may disapprove now and may give you a hard time, but in the end they may be your biggest support, you never know! I do find it funny though that they are christian but are pushing for abortion? It drives me insane when people push abortion because they think a single pregnant person doesn't "look right". What a horrible reason for an abortion! I have gotten an abortion before, but it was because I couldn't provide for the baby. I do regret it.

Your baby will have a great life, with a loving mom. That is all that matters!

All of you have been a great help you have no idea!!! Today my baby lives and I cant be more sure of my decision - I feel good an confident about it - I have been strong to anyone negative and I decided to just avoid those that are negative - which ironically is family members - parents - aunt - im waiting to see what my cousins will say - well my mom said id be relieved when I got an abortion -funny thing is - I feel so relieved that I didnt!!! As for the loser guy - believe me - I know and ive known and I dont excpect anything of him and I nor am I interested - as for him being involved in the childs life - hes welcome - no reason not to be - I see him everyday unforutnately at work - we are actually partners - ughhhhhhhh well I will find a guy one day - right!!!! Oh for those who commented on his fool wife -see im just a fool - she is just plain stupid!!! She knows about us - she knows everything -she even knows if it wasnt for me her mortgage probably wouldnt be paid!! She doesnt know about my baby though!! I hope anyone who tries to add stress to my joy would just leave me alone - thanks for being there guys - you have no idea how you have helped!! Made me confident too - I wish you all the best hey pocket angel - im due april 4!! Good luck guys keep in touch

April 4th is my dads b-day... Congrats and i'm glad to hear that you decided to keep it.. Keep us posted. As for his wife she'll find out as soon as you get bigger...

I'm sorry but I don't care if it's "christian orthodox" but a real christian would not turn their back on a child or a person in need whether or not she made or is making a mistake. I don't believe in abortions, but that's up to the person having the baby. I've never been in that kind of situation. I know I would never go through with it but I can't imagine how you feel. I'm glad you kept your sweet baby. I hope your family embraces this baby and loves it entirely. A baby needs that love and nurturing. You may have made a mistake but that can be forgiven. A baby isn't a mistake, god's got something planned for that baby's life and it may just be something like giving you something to be joyful about. I don't think i'd be staying with that guy though. He sounds kinda like trouble, only because if he'd do that to his wife, don't think he wouldn't cheat on you. You deserve better than that and can move on. I hope everything works out good for you. Children are alot of work but they are definetly worth it. :)

Yeah lildol! I am so glad of your decision, and I know in the end you will be, too. I am also glad to hear you know you can do way better than the baby's father. Too often women are scared to try going it alone, and end up staying with the loser fathers. This only makes them miserable. Why live like that? Life is too short. You are a strong woman who can do it alone! You will be surprised how motherhood brings out your inner strength. Stay the course.

One thing i've learned from seeing friends go through stuff is don;t ever abort for someone else, you will only regret it. I am glad you have decided to keep your baby and you seem like a smart enough woman to be able to do this "by yourself" ye s you're life will change but it's a good change.