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Q: Dont Understand
asked by: MarieVale on September 14th, 2005
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Hi guys hoping someone can fill me in..Ok i've been dating this guy for a little over a year now and it seems like over the past few months he rejects me at night. Now im the type of girl who loves sex, I can do it anytime anywhere I dont know why im like this but I am. I try to get my bf to let me give him head, have sex, anything! But it seems like he always has an excuse: "im too tired, "you should have asked me earlier", "im not in the mood" I feel like the roles are reversed.. Shouldnt I be saying that? Lol am I doin something wrong? I know he loves me and im a beautiful woman but whats the deal here? Any advice as what I can do to make him want me more or why hes acting like this?
Thanks
marie
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Sam-J-J replied on September 14th, 2005
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
If I was in that situation (i'm a guy), then i'd simply ask my partner if something was causing their hesitancy...

If I was the one doing the rejection, i'd prefer my partner to confront me about it, rather than make assumptions about why I might be doing it on an online health forum..
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ProZackMI replied on September 14th, 2005
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Re: Dont Understand
marievale wrote:
hi guys hoping someone can fill me in..Ok i've been dating this guy for a little over a year now and it seems like over the past few months he rejects me at night. Now im the type of girl who loves sex, I can do it anytime anywhere I dont know why im like this but I am. I try to get my bf to let me give him head, have sex, anything! But it seems like he always has an excuse: "im too tired, "you should have asked me earlier", "im not in the mood" I feel like the roles are reversed.. Shouldnt I be saying that? Lol am I doin something wrong? I know he loves me and im a beautiful woman but whats the deal here? Any advice as what I can do to make him want me more or why hes acting like this?
Thanks
marie


a few questions:
1) how old is he?
2) does he have any health problems? Is he on medication?
3) anything big going on in his life right now (school, work, family problems, financial problems)?
4) any problems between you two?

Often, personal problems outside the bedroom can affect sexual performance. Another reason could be he might not be into women. This is just a possibility.
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MarieVale replied on September 14th, 2005
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
1)hes 20 years old
2) he doesnt have any health problems and he doesnt take meds
3) he started a new job which I guess is pretty tiring? I dont know if that will make someones sex drive go down?
4)we're doing really good besides this problem

thanks for your advice I really appreciate it
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ProZackMI replied on September 14th, 2005
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
marievale wrote:
1)hes 20 years old
2) he doesnt have any health problems and he doesnt take meds
3) he started a new job which I guess is pretty tiring? I dont know if that will make someones sex drive go down?

4)we're doing really good besides this problem

thanks for your advice I really appreciate it


i'm a psychiatrist and this is a common problem in older, married couples. Usually it involves some major stressor, being tired, lack of interest, or just growing bored of one another. Your bf is barely out of his teens, so my guess is that it's not a physical problem and he should be interested in sex all the time. My guess is that he's very tired. Try making your move at times when he's rested. Try spicing up your sexual life. Come on to him, don't just ask him for it; tease him and grab him erotically. Sometimes guys act this way when they feel ugly or inadequate. Make sure you show him that you think he's cute and you like his penis. Try it and see how it goes. My bet is that he's just tired. I wish you luck.
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MarieVale replied on September 14th, 2005
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Thank you very much it really helps hearing that. Is there anything that turn guys on? I know I should just ask him but I want to try to 'spice' things up like you said.
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ProZackMI replied on September 14th, 2005
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
marievale wrote:
thank you very much it really helps hearing that. Is there anything that turn guys on? I know I should just ask him but I want to try to 'spice' things up like you said.


each guy is different, marie. Your bf is probably going through something stressful or is just very physically tired. Ask him why he's not interest and see what he says. Remember one thing, guys, especially young guys, are all about the physical feeling -- more so than cuddling or the emotional aspect of a relationship. Most girls are into cuddling, talking, and the emotional aspect, whereas the guy is into his penis and orgasm. Not all guys, but most younger guys.

If you want to try to add some spice, try hanging out naked. Tell him how cute he is. Explore his body. Have him strip down, lie on the bed, and check him out. Examine his penis, balls, and anus. Make sure he's taken a shower and is very clean, of course! Make sure he's rested. Give him a nice massage and keep watching his penis; if it moves and gets hard, stroke him and suck him...Focus on his sexual energy. If he doesn't get aroused, try relaxing him. If he's really clean, finger his anus and rub his genitals at the same time. Nibble on his ears and lick his nipples and neck. Those things should drive any 20 year-old kid wild!
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MarieVale replied on September 14th, 2005
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Thank you for all the wonderful tips, im def goin to try them :) I hope they work!
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