Within the past few monthes I think ive
developed a problem, sometimes when I eat
somthing I make myself throw up, ive
always had this pressure from my father to
lose weight, I feel like im not good
enough for him. I cant stop myself. I
havnt told my mom about this problem.
Maybe sombody here can help me :?:
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ICAreALot
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005 Posts: 3 Location: New York city
Hey Posted: 09-17-05 07:52am
Hey raven I think that u should tell ur
mom about it becausse then maybe she can
help u then again just like tell some1
close to u so that they can try to help u
out I kno its probably scary for u so dont
do it on ur own tell some1 or if u dont
want to tell them leave clues so that
they can ask u but plz do something cuz
this is serious just tryin to help I hope
u get better :)
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lostoyou
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 170 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-17-05 11:34am
Hey there!
I know you've probley heard this before
but having an eating disorder is not just
about making yourself sick or starving,
its about how you think and feel about
yourself and life which is usually in a
negative way. People who suffer from
eating disorders don't just have low self
esteem, they usually have no sense of self
at all.
An eating disorder is a way to cope with
life but is a very destructive way and can
cause alot of medical problems as well as
alot of pain mentally.
It can be very lonely and very issolating
at times.
I would really reccomend that you get help
because this can really take over your
life.
I really hope that you tell your mam
because she can help you. I can't tell
you how much this can control your life
and even ruin it. I'm talking form
personal experience.
It isn't a way to live, you begin to just
exist rather then live.
I have lost all of my friends and so much
more, you deserve so much more then that.
You desevre to be happy and content with
yourself and your life.
With regards to your dad, itsnot your
problem that he wants you to lose weight
although I know it can be tough. What
reasons he feels that you need to lose
weight I think he should ask himself why
that is.
If people are truely happy with themselves
then weight doesn't even come into their
minds, its not about weight, there is
always an underlinding issue and with
regards to eating disorders there can be
many different things which have caused
it.
Your father is not right in telling you
that you have to lose weight but thats his
own stuff, when you said that I just
thought well what is it in him that he
values weight and appearance so much, he
could have certain issues that neither you
or him are even aware of. I know this is
a difficult thing to ask of you but please
do not take it personally, him wanting you
to lose weight has nothing to do with you
but him.
You are good enough, always remember that!
He cannot make you feel not good enough
if you don't let him.
You are the one who can chose to take what
he says on board or you could chose to
realise that he is the one who needs to
deal with certain things and you should
chose to consentrate on how good enough
you are and how great a person you are.
I know I might not of helped but if you
need to talk or have an questions please
write to me anytime.
I hope your well,
take care!
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ravenightmares
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2005 Posts: 12 Location: alabama
Thanks Posted: 09-19-05 05:36am
Thanks for replying. Its really not easy
to talk about somthing like that with ppl
especially my family. It hasnt gotten any
better, I done it again this morning, I
know this isnt a healthy thing to do, I
cant stop. :cry:
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irishamethyst
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 75 Location: Ireland
Posted: 09-19-05 06:39am
I'm sorry to hear things are hard for you
right now. I would feel that it is
something that is important to bring up,
as personally, I don't think it's possible
to recover without support of some sort.
Can you right a letter to your parents
perhaps? I would encourage you to talk
to them about it afterwards though. If
you just wrote in the letter that you felt
they needed to know, but you didn't know
how else to tell them.
When I was in the behaviours of my ed, I
alwasy felt so much more shame surrounding
the purging and self harm, than when I was
undereating, but that's just me.
Best of luck, and keep us posted. Full
recovery really is possible. I am not
yet recovered, but know that I am now
nearing the end of my journey - but then
that may take another number of months or
so yet...