I Dont Want to Have An Abortion Posted: 09-21-05 11:44am
Hi,
im 23 yrs old and my boyfriend and I have
been together for a while. When we would
have unprotected sex it was find with him
if I got pregnant. I recently took a
pregnany test and it came out positive.
When he told his mom everything did a 360.
He now wants me to have an abortion
because he is not financially ready and he
doesnt have a degree( meaning bachelors).
He tells me that if I decide to have the
baby, im being selfish. Just to tell you
he is 24 yrs old and basically depends on
his mother for everything. Which I didnt
know. I honestly feel when she said she
wasnt going to help support his child he
chickend out. I want to have my baby.
I already told him to leave me alone if he
want me to have an abortion. He hasnt
spoken to me in two days just because he
has to finally grow up. This is my
question should I go along with my
pregnancy without him in my life? Just
because mommy is not going to help him.
I have my family and friends and I also
have a job and go to school full time.
Last edited by thicncute on 09-21-05 16:48pm; edited 1 time in total
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angel6932
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2005 Posts: 788 Location: US
Miricale Posted: 09-21-05 11:50am
Swetty no one can tell you what to do.
Only you can make that choice. But since
you asked I will tell you my oppioun. I
would do what my heart says which obvselly
it says have the baby.
See when I was 17 I got pregnant and when
I finally got back to the guy I told him
and he refused to help me. Unlike you I
didnt have my parents. I had my
grandmother and friends. I choses to
keep the baby which I lost within a couple
of months. But you have to do what feels
right and only you can make that choice.
In my oppioun no man is worth killing a
baby over. But I think you should no
almost everyone that is on the board is
pregnant or trying to get pregnant. I am
one of those people. I am 8 and 1/2
months pregnant but I do know where you
are coming from that is why I want to help
you. I may not like your decition that
you ultimaly make but I will be a friend
and be here for you.
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lesliepei
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Sep 2005 Posts: 187 Location: Canada
Posted: 09-21-05 12:05pm
Angel's right, follow your heart, and make
your decision based on what you can live
with.
One question to ask yourself is.... "if I
were to abort, would I regret it for the
rest of my life?"
also, I missed how old you are.
Talk with your family and see how much
support they will give you...Ie: child
care so you can finish school (which is
sooooooooo very important) and make your
decision once you know where your support
network stands.
Good luck and god bless
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JuneBugzMamazExpectin
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jun 2005 Posts: 73 Location: Rohnert Park, CA
Posted: 09-21-05 14:57pm
thicncute
have your baby. It's your decision, and
if you want to have your baby, then have
it. Your man made the decision when he
agreed to having sex.
If you have your life together
financially, have a place to live, and
transportation, you will be fine.
If you have any doubts about yourself
wanting a baby, then think twice. But if
the only reason is, is that your man
doesn't want it, then think with your
heart, and do what you want.
Screw him, he should have thought of this
before he layed down...Imo
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teach486
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2005 Posts: 276 Location: US
Posted: 09-21-05 16:44pm
I agree. Whether or not to keep the baby
should not be his decision. It is your
decision, and your's alone. If he wants
you to have an abortion, well too bad. If
you want to have the baby then by all
means do so. He will be obligated to pay
child support even if he does decide to
leave you. It is time for him to step up,
grow up, and to be a man. If he didn't
want to have this kind of responsibility
then he should have not been having sex.
I think you should do what you want to
do..Have the baby...He didnt care in the
beginning....I am 18 and we are having a
bad time I am against abortions...Plus I
been wanting this baby for a year since I
been with my now fiancee.:d (happy) u seem
to really want this baby...Do it...If he
cant be a man and understand that it takes
two...Then leave him...I am not trying to
tell you what to do...I was kinda in the
same situation when I first found
out....
Keep us updated:)
becky
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nancyms
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2005 Posts: 166 Location: texas
Posted: 09-21-05 17:53pm
I've known many women who have had
abortions, and I will tell you that from
the ones that have a heart and are caring
people--they all regret making that
decision. It is you choice not anyone
elses, but if you feel any regrets don't
go through with it. I'm pretty sure you
can qualify for financial aide for school
and that can help you pay for childcare.
I also know that alot of schools have a
child development center for students
majoring in that field. It's like a
little day care center for the kids.
Look into that and check all your options
before making a decision.
Nancy
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El
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Mar 2005 Posts: 476 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Same Story Posted: 09-21-05 17:56pm
I was the same age as you when I got
pregnant, and my partner - only a few
months older than myself- wanted me to
have an abortion too. I couldn't do it.
We had just moved in to gether, like two
weeks previously. He was not working-
well not paid work anyway, he had taken a
year off to work on his music.
Long story short, I told him I couldn't
get rid of our baby. She is now two years
old, we are married, and expecting our
second daughter in about 6 weeks- (planned
this time). My now husband was just in
shock, and frightened and that was his
first re-action- make it go away!!!!!, but
after a couple of weeks- well really just
a few days, he accepted I would keep the
baby, and we'd see what happened.
It's a big piece of news to hear for
anyone whose not expecting it. Give him a
chanc to digest the information, and let
him know if you have decided for sure that
you are keeping the baby, and abortion is
not an option for you.
That's what I did- I knew I couldn't do
it, so there was no point in arguing about
the question of it. I told him whatever
he decided, I was having the baby, with or
without him and I would release him from
legal responsibility if that's what he
wanted.
I told him I would choose my baby over him
- it was true, I really would have.
Luckily, I never had to.
I hope everything goes okay for you.
Take care
el.
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angel6932
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2005 Posts: 788 Location: US
Agree Posted: 09-21-05 17:59pm
I agree with el. How old are you?
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verypregnant
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2005 Posts: 76 Location: Maryland
Posted: 09-21-05 22:32pm
Please dont abort your baby because of the
way someone else feels. U will regret
that later in life more than you may
think.
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sweetkissesxo05
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Sep 2005 Posts: 8 Location: mi
Posted: 09-22-05 00:16am
Hey .... I am new at this site but hunny
I know what your going through... Its
hard when u love someone so much and u are
used to them helping u make choices but
when it comes down to having a baby they
are all ready for it until it
happens....Trust me I have a mommas boy
too and I am in the same spot as u
anyways.... Follow your heart...Look he
is the one being selfish he is only
concerned about his life not the little
pride and joy thats in your tummy ...
That baby didnt ask to be here , its so
selfish of him to tell u to do that ...
Look baby girl what I am trying to say is
this is not just his child its urs too u
made it .... The baby didnt ask to be
here and its not ur childs fault its
father doesnt want to be a man ... But
dont take its life....All in all theres
thousands upon millions of people tryint
to have babys and they cant .. Look hunny
u got what a lot of woman cant do ...
Belive in ur self and follow your heart
dont let anyone take you down! This is
your baby not just for 18 yr but for the
rest of ur life ! Just take everything
one day at a time . I will be here for u
and I am sure everyone else will too! If
u ever need anyone to talk to someone will
be here! Okay! Take care hun and follow
your heart! ~shawna
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fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 09-22-05 00:30am
Please dont have an abortion, and for
someone else especially not.
God help here in jesus name
amen
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GinACod
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2005 Posts: 262 Location: Ohio
Posted: 09-22-05 11:38am
Hun, its not easy but really if you
don't want to have an abortion then
don't...
Its not his body or his desision. Its
yours. He really is an after thought,
since you really don't want to abort.
As for him either he will come around or
he won't. Theres alot of programs out
there to help you, if you don't want the
pressure of takeing care of the baby alone
then look into addoption. Theres alot of
options out there. You look into them
and decide. Its not his choice. The
only choice he has now is if you decide to
keep the baby is wether or not he wants to
be apart of your lives.
My real father made that choice, I still
hope one day he will know that I still
have a door open for him if he ever
decides to be a part of my life and my
kids. Just leave that door open for him.
Thats really all you can do.
Now if you give up for addoption you don't
have to abort, but you won't have that
burden of trying to take care of him/her.
1. I say don't abort... If you have
the slightest twinge of knowing you will
feel guilty about it.
2. Give up for adoption. If you don't
want to take care of a baby by yourself.
3. Keep the baby. You have support
from your family and freinds. You can
get more help then you know.
In the end its up to you.....
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 09-22-05 12:47pm
I've never had an abortion, but if there's
one thing i've learned from friends is
never abort for someone else, you will
regret it for the rest of your life!
Good luck!
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thicncute
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Posts: 3 Location: newyork
He's Execpeted My Pregnancy Posted: 09-26-05 14:17pm
We had a long dicussion and he is know
coming to terms with my pregnancy. But I
feel like absolute crap. My chest is
killing me and I feel so much nausea. The
beging stages of pregnancy is not cool at
all.
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GinACod
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2005 Posts: 262 Location: Ohio
Posted: 09-26-05 14:21pm
No its not, but i'm glad he came around.
Congratulations. I hope everything goes
better for you as your pg progresses.