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I read your post and I was thinking to myself you could not have explaned it better, I am going through the same thing you are (awful stomach pains and being late and lazy) and I am so scarred...Its weird to think that we both have the same symptoms and we both are smart enough to wonder on this website to get some answers...Well I may not have any answers but I just wanted to let you know that your not alone and if you find anything out let me know...Good luck

Im pregnant....It is really weird typing that but it is true and I am trying to tell myself that...I did a home pregnancy test and it was the longest 3 mins of my life....But it really is worth knowing and a huge break of not worrying if you are or aren't...But now it is a whole different kind of worrying and I hope you never know what im talking about or how I feel now...Its like the feeling of being told you are going to die tomorrow and you just dont want to sleep because you are so afraid.....I pray for you to get an answer and only hope its not the same one I recieved....Im so scared!

Oh yeah....My 20th birthday is in two days. Dec.5th...What a present...It's too bad I cant return it.

If you really dont want the babie then why dont you have a termination? How far gone are you?

Congrats charmed..

This is not what you wanted I take it.. Well your young and strong you will make the right decision for you.. But there is other options instead of termination... There is adoption if you are not ready to be a mommy...

Be strong and think long and hard before making a decision...


Trish

Thank you both for the support but I need to tell you , you are talking to a women who is so scared...I am such a wuss when it comes to things like this I dont even have my ears pierced because I am so afraid of pain....Which makes me wonder how I could ever carry a child...Or even go through with letting one go, I am so stuck and I do not know what to do, my partner is being super supportive but all he keeps saying is "whatever you want to do is what I want to do" I dont understand why he just wont tell me what to do I am so torn....And going to my parents would be one of the last resorts my dad wont even let me live with the man who got me pregnant (we have been together for 4 years), my dad has always said if I do something grown up then I can pay for my own college (which by the way is too expensive to even think about).....So whats it going to be? College? Or a baby? It so grown up to even think about! Help????

Charmed,

i really feel for you, as has been pointed out to you no one can tell you what they think you should do or what the answer is as only you know that. It sounds like you partner is dealing with it the best he can under the circumstances. He might be scared of what your dad might say given he is so strict.

I can relate well to this, I have been with my bf for 4 1/2 years and we have had a somewhat rocky relationship. We met on a blind date, I met his parents after one week, he met mine after 3 living together after 4 and been together ever since. When we decided to move in together I rang both my parents and asked their permission and I was only 20 mum said no prob. Dad on the other hand wasnt as convinced I should be committing the one sin he thought he had raised me not to do.

You have been with this gut for four years that should prove to your dad that you really care about each other. There comes a time when you have to think what is in the best interest for yourself, even being 20 you still know what you want out of life and for yourself. By the way my dad said he wouldnt pay for college either, but he came round. Once he gets used to the idea im sure he will forgive you and embrace this miracle for the true miracle that it really is.

My advice to you is this is to sit down with your bf and discuss how much hard work having a child is, find out whether this is what he wants, find out if this is what you want and once you have the answers to those questions everything else will come round.

Good luck with everything and im thinking of you in this time of need

from some one who cant wait to have a jelly bean all of their own

Thank you, allusivepond,
your advise helped me a ton. I have been driving myself crazy about this whole pregnacy thing...But I always thought that as a women when you get pregnant no matter what age or situation you would always be happy because of this wonderful out come. All I have been doing is crying, eatting and sleeping and the worse part the semesters over in about 2 weeks and I cant seem to get up and go to my classes...I finally left the house to go shopping for food (must be those early pregnacy cravings) and it felt like everyone at the market was staring at me knowing that I was pregnant. I have also been avoiding phone calls from all my friends because I have been staying at my boyfriends house, I am too afraid to go to my apartment where I live with 4 other college girls. Ever since I found out that I was pregnant I dont want to be around them because I am afraid they will find out, seems how it is my 20th birthday today and we are all suppost to go out tonight and celebrate but when they try to buy me a drink what am I suppost to do? Tell them im not thirsty?
Anyways I just cannot get over this situation in my life... And I am so afraid to have an abortion I am a catholic women and always thought that abortions were never a good idea but somehow I made an appointment, although I missed the appointment it was yesterday at 1:30 and when 1:30 came and went I just had this kinda relief feeling but I still know I can never have this baby, I am still a baby myself! I am so sorry that I am crying and complaining to you. I just feel like I want to fall asleep and not wake up. Ever time I go to sleep I wake up feeling alright and then I remember I am pregnant and its like I go through it all over again, the hystarical crying, feeling sorry for myself and wondering why god would give such a great gift to someone like me, when their are millions of great people who want a child and can't have one... And I know that adoption is totally out of the question because if I am going to go threw the whole pregnacy thing I know I would never be able to give it up my baby.
I would never want to raise a baby with my kind of personality but for some strange reason I think way back in my heart I know that I would love this child more than anything and I know I could be a good mom but then I think of all the things I have not yet experienced and always wanted to do before I ever had a child. You know what, I should stop feeling sorry for myself and start feeling sorry for this poor baby who doesn't even know that they are living in such a bad person, what kind of woman wants to not have a child after she finds out she is pregnant......Me. Wow life really is hard I always thought that my parents were lying to me.

Dear charmed,

i’m sorry I can’t offer you any advice. I have nothing to give. I just wanted to acknowledge you, to tell you i’m thinking of you, and to wish you the very best. I feel for you.

If you have the energy, please read my post ‘i have answer. Please read and please reply.’

best,
youngwoman

While we all make mistakes, was it you that told the bf and he said wot ever u wanted to do. Has there been any change on that front and have u discussed your options with your bf afterall this is a part of him as well. Do you have great friends, have they always been there for you, have you always been there for them, if you answer yes then maybe u should come clean to them after all what are they going to say. And if they do say anything that is negative or hurtful I would be wondering what sort of friends they really are. Friends are there to be supportive not judgemental, they take care of you in times of need, you take care of them, they are people who u know will always be there for you and u will always b there for them.

Good luck and let me know how things are going

from some one who cant wait to have a jelly bean all of their own

I know exactly how you feel. I had my daughter when I was 18 and it was scary, but you should think about adoption if you really don't want to raise the baby. Abortion is not the answer, beleive me if I would have went through that I would of killed myself. It is hard raising a baby but you can do it. That is what we are made for.

The decision is yours, but I have to respond anyway. Number one, your boyfriend is probably telling you that he wants whatever you want, because it is ultimately you decision. He probably does not want you to make a decision simply because he gave you his opinion. Secondly, yes paying for college sucks, but if it is a decision between free college and terminating a human life the decision is clear. If you do not want the baby, give it up for adoption. If you decide to keep it, the government has plenty of money to give to a single mother to further her education. It is easier to get financial support with a kid than without one. Happy birthday and god bless. I am sure you will make the right decision. Just remember you have been blessed with a gift. Of course you are scared. Who wouldn't be? You will be fine.

I first wanted to thank all of you who took the time to listen to my problem and give me the support that I needed...I am doing a lot better other than the morning sickness and everytime I try to eat it seems the smell of food is so much stronger than usual and it makes my sooo sick...

I went to my parents house this weekend and I thought that I was just going to bust and tell them when I got there but I did not...I just acted like there was nothing wrong and I thought it would just make things worse but it didn't. It gave everything a sense or normalcy. I think thats why I am doing a lot better. Although, my mom gave me this very cute outfit for my birthday and I just started crying knowing that I was never going to fit into it and she was so excited that I liked it and I was just thinking this women is so clueless I hope I am never that clueless when I am a mom...Actually the whole experience made me realize a lot...They both treated me like I was 10 years old and I never noticed that before...They made my boyfriend and I sleep in different rooms...Ha, if only they knew. I gave them so many signs too my boyfriend was waiting on me hand and foot and they just called my lazy I threw up every morning...One morning my dad came in to wake me up to watch a football game and so I went into the living room and he was eatting something awful smelling and I just ran into my bathroom with the worst case of morning sickness and when I came back into the living room to face him I thought "he is going to know for sure" he just made a joke about it and was like "oh, you get sick the morning after your mom cooks you dinner...Me too I hate your moms cooking." I mean I do not think I want to become a parent they are so unaware of everything...