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Q: Pregnant And Husband Is In Another Country

asked by: hollie2104 on September 23rd, 2005

New User

Hey I am 22 and three months pregnant, my husband is in the army and was sent to korea for two years. He just spent a year in iraq. We just got things back like they was. We have been trying to get pregnant for two years and now it happens. Well I have been stressing out alot because he is gone and I am so afraid of having a miscarriage. I try my best not to get up set but every time I see his photos or think about him being gone I stress. Every time I get off the phone with him I cry my eyes out, and thats alot he calls every day. I dont tell him that I am stressing, he has alot to think about too. I know he feels the same way. We had a miscarriage befor, I was two months. He took it very hard, so did i. I cant lose this baby. I will go crazy! I dont know what to do. I cant seen to get happy. I am happy about the baby but with out him I dont have anything. I cant even get out of the bed most of the time. I have very bad dreams every night and I am afraid to go to sleep. I hate being alone and I dont have anyone to stay with me. I dont know how to help my self, I have done tryed. I wish I could be with him. If anyone could help me are even talk please do so. I can use all the help I can get. Thanks for reading this!!

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Replies(8)

Rasberry Ripple

replied on September 23rd, 2005

Experienced User

Hi hollie....Welcome to the forum and congratulations on being pregnant.

Crickey what a situation to be in. The first thing I would say, is calm down.... What you're going through at the moment, is totally normal. Hormones are increasing by the second, and having to work through this on your own is going to weigh down on your emotions. Cry, cry and cry again....Don't feel guilty about crying, just let your body do what it wants to.

Everyone on this forum is really friendly (most of the time - ha ha), so just come and join in. The best way to work out the way you are feeling is to help others that are going through similar situations, and believe me, we are all pretty much experiencing the same ups and downs. Of course personal situations like your husband being in the army isn't the same as other mums to be, but we are all here to pull together.

Welcome, and I hope that things work out for you.
Xx

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chaosbob

replied on September 23rd, 2005

Experienced User

What does crickey mean??...

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vanessalouanne

replied on September 23rd, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

Hollie, I totally know what you are going through. My sister is currently 38 weeks pregnant and her husband is in the navy. He left when she was about 5 months and will be back when the baby is one month old. She also has a two year old who has only really been around her dad for 6 months. I am also married to a marine who has been deploying 8 months on 6 months off for the last 3 years. My brothers are both active duty is the army and my best friend (my total emotional support system who I call with all my problems, left wednesday for a year in iraq) all I can say is that it is that military wives are defiantly the toughest. My biggest advice is to join the support groups on base, find hobbies, keep yourself busy! That is huge. You are extra hormonal right now and you need to get your mind on others things. My sisters husband is staioned in hawaii and has come back to california and stayed out here with us while he has been gone. It has helped her a lot. Our life is a tough one but it is so worth while. I am so proud of my husband and I know that you are too. Just remember that when they say that military wives jobs are the toughest they are so right

feel free if you ever feel you need to talk
good luck girl

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GinACod

replied on September 23rd, 2005

Experienced User

Yes the most important thing for you to do is to calm down and relax. I know its hard but its not very good for you. Emotions will go up and down its ok to cry just try not to get stressed over it. Live each of your days to the fullest, try not to think of him being over there. Think of what it will be like when he comes home to you. The fun and joy you have at that time. My hubbys a truck driver though we are in different situations I worry all the time. For the first 4 months he was gone I cryed and hardly got any sleep and at that time I was pg. Now my babys 2 months but my hubbys still gone 6 days a week. I have 3 other kids but its not the same as your other half. But eventually I started to look forward to seeing him rather then thinking of all the bad things that could happen to him. I know that its alot different but think of good times and when he comes home. Our hearts are out to you and yours. Take care hun.

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hollie2104

replied on September 23rd, 2005

New User

Pregnant And Husband Is In Another Country

Thanks guys, you all really helped out alot. I have been thinking alot today and I can do this. There is alot of wifes that has losted there husbands because of iraq and they keep going. See I live in alabama and there is no base close to me so I can go to the support groups. All I have is my dogs to talk to, I just moved here two months ago and dont know anyone. I talk to my family but they dont understand, they have never been throw this. I am a kind of pearson who dose not like to worry anyone with my problems. Its going to be hard to raise a kid alone, I know I can do it. I am so proud of my husband, he dose alot for his country and his family. But he still gets the bad end of it all. I dont know how I would dill with losing him are the baby. So if anyone else could talk to me it is really helping. Thanks a bunch!!

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angel6932

replied on September 23rd, 2005

Active User, very eHealthy

Thank You

And we thank him for what he is doing it means so much. I am so greatful to all the men and women who are fighting for our country. I dont even know you and I want to say thank you and I love your family for fighting for mine. God bless you

i will pray for you I know how hard it is to be alone. Yes I am married too but before I was married I was alone and it is really hard. I will pray that god will give you strengh and that your dogs will keep you company.

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heather_0332

replied on September 23rd, 2005

New User

Hi my fiancee is in iraq right now and I know what your going through.We dont know if we are pg yet but still the waiting to find out when hes gone is so annoying.Hes been over there since november of 2004 but he got to come home on 2 week leave 07/22-08/09 and is supposed to be home before thanksgiving we hope anyway.This is his last year and hes getting out.That way he can be home and we can start a family if we already havent.Good luck to you and try not to stress to much.All will be okay

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GinACod

replied on September 23rd, 2005

Experienced User

Good luck heather... Baby dust your way also..
I hope you can find joy in evrything you do until you hubbys come home. Its very hard not to have them home helping out and someone to talk to ( phone isn't the same). Just keepyour hope up and soon enough hopefully he wll be home. Congratulations again and if you do need anyone to talk to you have us.

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