He Can't Stay Hard Enough

I can’t say I have the answer, just an opinion. I’m certainly not a Dr. So I can’t comment on any potential medical issues.
You did not say how old your boyfriend is. If he is in his 20’s then it could be an entirely different scenario. If in his 30’s yet another scenario, 40’s etc.

You mentioned that he seems to always prefer masturbation. What guy in his right mind would prefer masturbation when he can have the real thing …..Sex?
I have had guys tell me that is exactly why they prefer it on a ‘conditional’ level.
When they could not get sex they masturbated and did so for so long they became ‘conditioned’ to be able to climax that way and only that way.
So when they did have the opportunity to actually have sex they could not climax except through masturbation.
I had a girl tell me once of an old boyfriend of hers that tried anal sex and loved it so much that was the only way he could climax.

It works both ways as I found out from personal experience. 10-12 years ago I was dating a girl who could simply not climax. I bought her a vibrator. That was the best and worst thing I could have done. I was able to get her to climax with oral once or twice but it was long process to say the least.
She could climax with the vibrator in 7 minutes.
The fact that she could climax with the vibrator proved it was not a physical problem but a mental one.
She now prefers the vibrator and she must first use the vibrator and climax before even trying intercourse.

I would suggest getting a few viagra, preferably the 100 mg and split them in half and take a 50 mg.
I will soon be 45 years old and I don’t ‘need’ them but it sure makes one hell of a difference when I take a 50.
You can get them on the internet or a Dr. Will many times give you a free trail pack of 4 or 5.
You will probably be told the same by others here as well. It will make a difference in erection and how long it will last.
It sounds as though you are at your wits end anyway so it’s worth a try.

He is 40. I am 33. He was single for two years before he met me. Thanks for replying. I am going to tell him to go to a doctor for some advice. I think you're right, I believe he has conditioned himself to climax by masturbation.

okay my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time today..
but he couldnt keep it hard unless I rubbed his penis or sucked it..
do you think he could be conditioned to masturbation.. cause he
does masturbate atleast 6 or 7 times everyday..
which isnt good for him... but could you tell me some suggestions..
and what might be wrong....??? thnx

Joy McLaughlin

well I know that masturbation is fine..
but when it came the time or us to have sex for the first time
he couldn't stay hard... unless like I said I had to play with his penis
and get him hard....
and as soon as he was going to put it in he went soft...
and we started having sex anyway but he said he couldn't really feel it
cause he wasn't hard...
Help Me...
Joy McLaughlin

I think 7 times a day is a little excessive. I have an experiment.

Sometimes, short-term abstinence can help with sexual prowess. I'd suggest he not masturbate for a few days, and then try to have sex with you. First off, I bet he's going to be hornier than a stallion, and secondly I be he'll be able to hold an erection If this works, it means he simply needs to cut back a bit on his masturbation.

that helps alot.!
Ill talk to him and tell him he needs to slow down
and not do it soo much!
thnx alot!

Joy Mclaughlin

i seem to have exactly the same problem with my boyfriend, he is always playing with his penis when he thinks im not looking. once, i had climaxed and he hadnt he asked if it was ok if he could make himself climax and i said yes and thats when it began, now he masturbates after i climax. he climaxes with out his hand only on rare occasions.
he usually gets soft after a few minutes of sex and only a 69 can get him hard again, in a night we can 69 like 4 times just to climax. i thought it was me for a bit, he has a big penis and he said that it stretches me too much and it doesnt feel as good as when he first penetrates. but sometimes he can climax after quite a while of sex.
what really bugs me is that he is 19. i am alos 19 and i thought at our age we shouldnt be having such problems. he seems to be getting worse.
i think he is a bit too young for viagra or maybe not i dunno please help

Hmm..I'd say either a therapist or pills would help. If he does not feel comfortable taking pills and you guys think it's not natural then the best thing to do is wait. I know it is going to be hard & it isn't your fault but maybe all this constant pressure on him is making him have anxiety which is actually making it worse. Don't touch him sexually or let him touch you for hmm give it a month i'd say. Don't talk to him about it or badger him about it just leave it alone and see what happens.

yeah i think pills would make him feel immasculated. the waiting sounds like a really good idea because after time some time apart physically, the sex is great. once, we were apart for two weeks when we were in bed he said he had been saving himself up for me for 4 whole days, ie no masturbation for 4 days. i think the masturbation is the main root of the problem cos when we're together he masturbates, this kinda annoys me as i truthfully believe that when you have a girlfriend you dont need masturbation. i only masturbate when hes away for a long time.
do you think i should tell him to masturbate less (it really makes me feel inadequate) or is that too much?

Masturbation may be linked to the lasting erection, but I gotta disagree with your shallow view of masturbation in a relationship. I masturbate whether I'm dating someone or not.

I had the same trouble! I have found that my penis can not stay hard during long time and that make me mad! More I think about that - more soft erection I have. So my doctor in cooperation with my psycholog decided to try Viagra. And I started use viagra before every sexual act... Yeah!!! My sexual life came back to me and I was happy! I had to take 30 tablets of 100mg or 60 tablets of 50mg tabs... Few times I forgot to take a viagra but I found that my erection was hard enougth to give pleasure to me and my girlfriend! And now I can see that it was psychological fact. Doctor told me that sometimes (usualy during stress or etc.) my erection can be very bad, but if I won't pay much attention to that and just will take a tablet of viagra so in the future my sexual life will be as usual! So medical question the stress and bad erection!

Viagra is a pretty expensive drug so it is better to buy viagra online. I use very good store for buying not only viagra but other drugs - http://jarreddrugs70.com

I was happy to help everybody!
My mota is - "Don't panic! Be a real MAN!"

Tonight my ex boyfriend and i tried to have sex, and he got hard and everything. (He's 24 btw.) It took him a little longer though, because usually he's hard just when we start kissing. He went down on me and when he stopped he was soft. Usually he stays hard when he goes down on me. He then wanted to 69, so we did. That made him hard again, but not to full hardness. I got tired of 69ing and asked if he was ready to do it, he said yea. By the time he got the condom on, he was soft again! He then tried to procede with sex, and I kept asking him what was wrong, and he said he didn't know. Then we stopped and he said he thought it was the movie that he had playing, and then asked if he could put on a porn. (He has never had to put on a porn before!) He then told me it might help if i got on top and kissed him.

It didn't help, and he got upset and said he was stressed because we aren't together, he's afraid i've been seeing someone else. And we haven't had sex in a little over a month because during that time he moved in with some friends and I wasn't too happy about that. But this has never happened before and he's been upset and stressed plenty of times in the past because of problems between us, and it's never happened. I asked him if he was seeing someone else and he assured me that he wasn't. I think he may have been masturbating to porn excessively the month we weren't together? It worries me because what if this happens again? I don't want this porn thing to be a habit when we have sex. Agh, i'm so frustrated!

Now if you do decide to take something medical for your problems (or he does) dont go with substitutes, go with the real thing, on other words Viagra, Cialis or Levitra. I can vouch for Viagra and Cialis and theres no reason that Levitra wouldnt do the trick as well.

Ive been ordering my little pills from the web for a year now and its been working well for me. It all started when i found some good prices through here www.straightmansweb.com and i think you still get the best prices through there....

Wow, KimberyKnox...that's cruel & unusual punishment for most men...and they won't make it. Yes there IS variety amongst us, but "no sex for a month" is just WAY too long for most men. Our sexual tension builds (if you had as much testosterone as males do, you'd understand) and then we resort to porn & masturbation.

So Ebay, just talk to him about it. Tell him to let you know when he feels like looking at porn or masturbating. Then take advantage of his libido! If he can last without any sex or masturbation for 4 days to a week, I think you'll find he is an ultimate stud, and he'll enjoy it more too!