My baby is 2 wks old and this whole mother
thing has been really hard for me I never
sleep anymore and help is know where to be
found and I wish for sleep so bad
sometimes I feel like I don't know what to
do for her and sometimes I just sit and
cry I guess its the post pardem and my
husband works 3rd shift so its hard to get
help from him we got into a fight this
morning b/c he was hunting and I called
him to help me so I could sleep my baby
sleeps all day and crys a lot at night or
just won't sleep so I needed sleep this
morning he was mad that he had to come
home and she was asleep when he got home I
can't control her sleep patern. Anyone
have the same trouble as me after having a
baby?? No sleep,crying ect you feel that
the whole mother thing is more than you
can handle I do love her so much and im so
glad she is here but this is so hard will
it get better??
|
El
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Mar 2005 Posts: 476 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Been There.... Posted: 09-27-05 19:22pm
I know. It's just an ordeal isn't it- and
it's harder, because you live them sooo
much, you can't stand to see them upset,
or think you are not doing it right for
them. It'd be almost easier if you didn't
love them.
I've heard the settle into a routine, and
things get easier after 6 weeks, but do
you know what? I think you just get more
used to it after 6 weeks. I remember
waiting and hanging out for the majic to
happen at 6 weeks with my first- and
nothing happened at all. She developed
colic at about 4 weeks too, so she would
scream non-stop for about 2 and a half
hours starting at 6ish, and right through
'till about 8.30pm every single night, no
matter what we did.
I was so tired, I remember seeing
things!!!! Even when she did sleep, I
couldn't relax, because of the tension of
wondering when she'd wake, and how long I
had. At night, i'd wake up even while she
was sleeping soundly, becuse i'd dream
that I had fallen asleep while feeding
her, and was lying on her. Then I
wouldn't be able to get back to sleep,
because i'd lie there waiting for her to
wake again.
It is a nightmare. However, it does get
better, and yuo kind of forget how bad it
was, (well here I am having a 2nd, so I
guess you get over it)
there's a couple of things you can do that
might help.
Carry her around in one of those baby
slings, so you've got your hands free, but
she's close to you. They like the
closeness, and they like the feeling of
you walking around- just "wear" her
around, she'll sleep in there when she's
tired, and you can sit down and have a nap
knowing you won't drop her.
There is something we used to call the
"four foot rule", which maen't our baby
would sceam and cry if she was not at
least 4 feet off the floor- if you were
rocking her while standing she'd be fine,
but if you edged towards a chair-even if
you didn't change the rocking pattern, and
tried to sit down- she'd scream bloody
homicide!!!
Keep nighttime dark- don't trun on lights
while you feed her, and don't talk and
play ith her, only do that stuff during
daylight hours- this will help her to
start to tell the difference between night
and day.
If all else fails get outside- take her to
a playground and sit on a swing with her
either in your arms, or in her carrier.
This did wonders for my daughter. If she
likes the swinging motion- invest in one
of those baby swing things that you don't
have to sit and rock. My friend rented
one for her son, and that got her though
some very hard weeks.
Also- but you have to be careul about this
one- put her bassinette or even her car
capsule- (if you have the sort that comes
out of the car) on top of the washing
machine and do a load- I am serious. I
used to wash the same loads, like four
times, just to get a couple of hours of
quiet- they like it, the vibration, the
sloshy noises- I don't know what it is,
but it works, just make sure there is no
way she can be shaken off, or slip or
anything.
She may also like being pushed back and
forth in her pram- even if you don't feel
like walking anywhere, you can push it
back and forth while you sit on the
couch., eventually you'll be able to do
everything around the house using
alternate limbs to keep that pram in
constant motion.
I used to have to bring our pram up 3
flights of stairs to do this, and then
down again if I wanted to go anywhere,
but, it was worth it- I could sit and
watch oprah, and eat something!!!!
The main thing is, it is hard, it's very
hard, but it's not just you-and, it will
get better. You need to be good to
youself- I gave up breastfeeding at 4
weeks, because it was just too much onm
top of everything else- it didn't make
that much diference to the baby, but I had
a little more energy, and my husband could
take the odd feed at night, or first in
the morning, so I could get some sleep.
Get out whenever you can- if there is a
new mother's group in your area, join, and
go to every meeting. Go to everything
organised for babies, and mothers, the
days don't stretch out so long when you've
got a plan of action, and you feel better
and more human when you've been out, and
talking to other people. Plus, people
make a fuss of a new baby, and it's good
to be reminded of how lovely she is, and
how nice it is to have a little baby- even
if you are only having a cup of cofffee
somewhere, people are bound to dote on
her, and ask you how old she is, whether
she sleeps etc.
Get out there!!!
Look after yourself, if you really really
feel terrible, or think you are not
coping, make an appointment with your
doctor, or health nurse, ask for advice,
they will help you.
