Response to "how Do I Know..." Posted: 12-04-03 12:29pm
Hello all!
New to the site- so far finding it really
useful!- just finished reading post "how
do I know i'm having an orgasm", and its
responses...
(please bear with me, I know this post is
long)
one of you responded and shared that in
the 9 years that you've been active, you
havent yet experienced an
intercourse-induced-org.
Being still young and having had
intercourse in the past with men who
weren't necessarily boyfriends (many just
one-night stands, never with anyone I was
really in love with/cared for), it doesnt
freak me out that in the 3 years that i've
been doing it, I havent yet had an orgasm
during sex. The feelings are definitely
heightened when with someone you love...
Growing up and watching talk-shows,
reading women's magazines, I heard a lot
about women and the difficulty in reaching
an orgasm in bed-i neeeeever thought it'd
be the way it is until I started having
sex! "masturbation was always so easy,
why should sex be so hard, I thought(no
pun intended!)." I can be as excited as a
kid with sugar, foreplay, my mind
clear...And yet I can never orgasm.
For the past couple of weeks i've been
seeing this great guy, who i've now become
intimate with. For the couple of months,
for many reasons(stress, worries, money
problems) I havent had many sexual
thoughts or desire for sex....Lately i've
been desiring it more, and we've been
doing it often...I've told him about my
problem(?) and since then, he has tried to
help me org. Last time I got to a most
excited state, yet it was taking so long
that I got tired(and I was the one on the
bottom)and we stopped.
Of course our bodies each have their own
rhythm, each its own preferred
position....But I end up getting
aggravated (when I should be feeling
ultimate relaxation) and hesitate to get
into bed because I know we will try and
try and nothing will come of
it(literally).
Any comments, opinion, advice, help??
Thanks much, in a rush for class, more
later.
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4922 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 12-04-03 18:19pm
Hello. I do know what you mean about it
having to be with someone you love. All
the emotions need to be there. I had been
with other guys and nothing came of it, I
thought sex was boring and pointless. But
when I met jose and fell in love and
married, I had a wonderful org. And its
really because the love is there and no
other thoughts. Now when your mind is
elsewhere and your stressing, of course
you wont get one. I notice that too. So
what you need to do is really be in the
mood and be focused. Dont think too much,
go with the flow and be into it. You have
to want it for it to come. Its the way
you will expierence it best. Sometimes
for women, being on top is the best, have
him be still and do your own rythym until
you can feel it coming. And then let him
try his way. Its the way to satisfy each
other. Try different positions not old
ones. Sometimes lying on the floor you
can feel it or on the bed and lean up a
little bit, meaning lift up your bottom a
bit for him to reach your soft spots. But
remember let your mind go, no stress, no
worries, no thoughts at all. Just be into
it.
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NightNurse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 2 Location: NYC
Thanks! Posted: 12-04-03 22:34pm
Hey nikki!
Thanks much,
you are the sweetest!
Yes, I have read these numerous magazine
articles and have read about how one's
mind needs to be clear clear clear....I
think I mentioned in the last post that I
try to clear my mind during sex- well, I
guess it's not working if I can remember
what's going thru mymind when im doing it
it!
As laid-back as I am, I am allllways
thinking, i'm a very hyper person,
energetic, have a slight problem sitting
still and when i'm happy about something,
cannot get my mind on to anything else-
ex., a crush or new guy(note: not sufferer
of add! ) lol..... (i
swear, that is me in yellow!)
i'm a performer-i act and play music,
eventually want to make a career of it-
and yet with so much energy I go on for
endless hours, further than the stage...
So it's a surprise to many and myself
that in bed I can't perform with the same
energy (gosh, I sound like a 60 yr old man
in a viagra commercial!).
Will think about what you wrote-and try
it!- and not give up just yet.
Glad to hear i'm not alone! No, i've
always known I wasnt alone, but after all
these years, one begins to fear!
Anyway, again, thanks much for taking the
time to respond to my post...It's funny
how a stranger from so far(i saw you're in
ca(by the way, it's freeeeeeeeeeeeeezing
over here on the east coat!))can help and
offer advice even better than a close
friend's.
-night nurse
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ginac82
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 9 Location: mass
Posted: 12-05-03 00:27am
If u like being on the bottom, next time u
have sex, while u r on ur back, rest ur
legs on top of his shoulders. That
usually always gives u an orgasm because
it's a direct hit. Good luck baby girl
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4922 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 12-05-03 12:03pm
Lol, youre welcome! When I read your post
I was like oh my gosh I know how she
feels! You are far! I heard on the
news its very cold there! We are still in
the 65-70 area! You just have so much
energy so maybe realxing first will help.
Like maybe a hot bubble bath first. And
try the positions that hit your spot the
best! Good luck with that and your career
on performing!
(i
swear, that is me in yellow!)
