I am a closeted 20 year old college guy
with a big problem. I've always had
relationships with girls, that have never
quite had the spark i'm looking for.
I've had crushes on lots of guys, and been
attracted to guys, but it was never
anything I couldn't control. Last year I
met a guy in a study abroad program, and
we became fast friends. He was perfect.
Good-looking, intelligent, witty,
good-hearted, perfect in every way, and
straight. We became roommates, and best
friends, and I soon fell completely in
love with him. When he would joke about
girls he'd hooked up with, my heart would
break. I'd feel as if somebody had
punched me in the gut. It grew to the
point that I think about him all the time,
could see myself marrying him and living
with him for the rest of my life. He has
become the most important thing in my
life, but he has absolutely no idea. I
had to restrain myself from taking peeks
at him sleeping, from staring at his
beautiful face just a bit too long, from
allowing drunken evenings to spill my big
secret. What should I do? I want so
badly to tell him, hoping beyond hope that
there is a small chance that he might feel
the same way. But I fear that telling
him would result in his freaking out, and
losing the relationship we do have. It's
tearing me up inside. To not have him in
my life would be just unbearable. He's
not really homophobic, but he is southern,
and homosexuality is something that has
never come up between us. As far as he
knows, i'm totally straight. Any advice
would be appreciated.
|
cd998776
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Aug 2005 Posts: 997 Location: Ohio
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 10-22-05 19:35pm
This is a very hard decision to make.
You basically have to options:
1: talk to him about how you feel and risk
losing your friendship.
2: keep it to yourself and continue to be
good friends (atleast until you feel that
perhaps it is more appropraite to continue
with number 1.)
it really depends on which is more
important to you: having the love of your
life, or having the friend of a lifetime.
