communication is a huge part of what ed is
all about. I have become a lot more
upfront with people than before, or at
least, more so than I have ever done
before. How people convey messages
continue to niggle at me. An aunt of
mine had a cancer scare not too long ago,
and mother dearest conveyed this news to
me by text – the worst thing dad ever
did was to teach her how to text. If I
don’t respond to such texts, I will get
a text 5/10 minutes later asking whether I
had received the text. She knows how I
feel about this, but yet, she doesn’t
change.
Messages have been conveyed by text
inappropriately, over this past year.
Both myself and my brothers have, in some
form or another, expressed our views on
her texting such messages. When dad was
in a car accident earlier in the year,
this was conveyed by text, as have 4 of my
aunts potentially serious hospital stays
– cancer scare, a stroke, diabetes
related, and another cancer scare.
My mother knows how we all feel about her
texting such messages to us, and yet, she
still won’t pick up the phone. Dad has
said that she doesn’t know how to
communicate to us – but what would she
have done if she couldn’t text!?! She
doesn’t know how to communicate because
she can’t accept our lives for what they
are. She has a need to live her life
through us.
Yes, text has become part of our everyday
living, however if someone expresses a
view that something is inappropriate, I
feel it is always necessary to take that
on board. I am pretty sure most people
have said something in an appropriate
manner, at some point. However, it is
always up to the other party to express
their views. If in doubt, ask – I
remember asking someone if they minded
about something once, and they said they
didn’t mind – when it transpired some
months later that she did. When it
transpired how she felt about it, I felt
angry that she hadn’t expressed her
views to me directly. How is someone to
know your views on something, if you’re
not honest!?!
I am angry that my mother texts such
messages to myself, and my two brothers.
If anyone has any advice on how to convey
a message that something is inappropriate
(especially when the situation is serious)
to someone who chooses not to listen, it
would be appreciated. When messages are
conveyed inappropriately, it has a
tendency to have a bigger impact than if
the message was conveyed one-on-one.
