Pregnancy Forum - Postpartum Depression????? Or Something Else??????

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Q: Postpartum Depression????? Or Something Else??????

asked by: Mommie Dearest on October 20th, 2005

Experienced User

I lost my baby last week, and becuz I was so far along I actually had to go into hospital and give birth to him, which was no tonly hard mentally but physically as well.
The thing that since I have had the 'procedure' done I find that, my body is still acting as though I am pregnant. My breast are still hurting and rather heavy and I find that when I eat that I am still throwing up with terrible heartburn. One of the reasons I cudn't wait to have the "procedure' done was becuz it meant that I wud no longer have to deal with the horrible pregnancy symptoms, after walking about with the baby inside of me for five days before I actually went into hospital.
But now that ordeal is over, I have become the weepiest person you cud ever know. I know that it is normal to grieve for the baby, that I can understand. But to be honest, I don't want to leave the house. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything with anyone. I don't answer the phone, won't talk to my friends. I actually avoid them. I don't seem to want to eat and sleep has become a thing of the past. I stay up all day and all night just watching tv. I have confinded myself to my room. My mother says that I have become a recluse. I am just so depressed all day and all I do is cry, and then I get so irritable. I seem to take out all of my frustrations on tony {my fiance} and I know that he is trying to understand what is wrong with me but he is finding it very hard. My moods seem to change with the wind. Today I am fine, tomorrow I cud ripe his throat out and I can't stand to have him or anyone for that matter around me. I feel like jekyl and hyde :cry:
the thing is that a friend of mine mentioned that it cud me ppd but I thot only women who actually had a baby went thru that, so I am not really quite too sure what I am going thru.
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :oops:

Replies(8)

fatfamily02

replied on October 20th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

Your hormone levels still drop tremendously just like when full term baby is brought forth. So the possibility of ppd is very high. I am so sorry for your loss and I pray god will help you threw this--in jesus name

SadMommy

replied on October 20th, 2005

Experienced User

Sorry

How far along were you may I ask? I am sorry for what you are going through. It will get better sugar......... I went through the same thing in august and I have gotten better. I still have moments when I think about everything, long for my baby, wonder if I will have another. But, we will. There is a reason for everything, at first when my doctor told me that I was mad. I didnt understand but I find now that if I think of it that way it is easyer to deal with the truth. I wish you all the best.........

T~

Mommie Dearest

replied on October 20th, 2005

Experienced User

Re: Sorry

sadmommy wrote:

how far along were you may I ask? I am sorry for what you are going through. It will get better sugar......... I went through the same thing in august and I have gotten better. I still have moments when I think about everything, long for my baby, wonder if I will have another. But, we will. There is a reason for everything, at first when my doctor told me that I was mad. I didnt understand but I find now that if I think of it that way it is easyer to deal with the truth. I wish you all the best.........

T~

i was 12 weeks. The thing is that I had found out 5 days before that the baby had died, but I had no idea how long it was in there before it died and I was walking around with this dead fetus inside of me which was also depressing me to the hilt.

Then my doc had scheduled my d & c for saturday and I cudn't sleep all friday nite, only to get a call the same saturday saying that he cudn't do it until the monday, so I had to have it in there for another day {sigh}, that just serve to piss me off even more too.

I joined this 'support' group today and I really hope that they can help me, becuz to be honest I don't feel any kind of support from my fiance. I guess he is dealing with his own cramp too becuz this is our third loss and it looks as thoug he is the one at fault becuz of this chromosone problem. I mean I don't know too much about how your chromosones work, but my doc tells me that as long as I have had a child before that I can't be problem becuz your chromosonse don't change, so it wud have to be him, and I know how much he wants to have a child so I guess in his own way he feels like a failure. But I can't carry his pain and mine too although I am hurting for him too, I am just so depressed all the time.

Ya know we are building our own home and becuz of the pregnancy I haven't been up to the house site for a while, so he took me yesterday just to get me out of the house for a drive figuring that it wud do me some gud. Well, I walked into the house and I was doing pretty gud, but from the time I walked pass the room that was suppose to be the nursery I started to hyperventilate and I got so dizzy I had to hold onto the wall. I thot to myself 'what the hell is wrong with me?' then I got back to the jeep and I just burst into tears and I thot that I wud never stop crying. It was like I was trying to stop the tears from coming but they just poured and poured and it just seemed so strange to me.I have never in my life felt so out of control of a situation and I just don't know what to do.

OaTmEaLfAiRy

replied on October 20th, 2005

Experienced User

It could be ppd mixed with the sadness of death. You're supposed to treat miscarriages and the like, as if it were a death in the family. A lot of cases, it truly is a death in the family. It's like if you were a child, what would you feel if your own mother died (if you were close to her)? You wouldn't get back to normal within a week, you'd be all brooding and sad. This is someone that even though you never met them, you had a strong personal bond and attachment to. I suggest seeing your doctor, maybe they can refer you to a therapist to deal with these feelings? If it doesn't seem like the best idea right now, it will probably help in the long-term.

Mommie Dearest

replied on October 21st, 2005

Experienced User

Re: :(

oatmealfairy wrote:

it could be ppd mixed with the sadness of death. You're supposed to treat miscarriages and the like, as if it were a death in the family. A lot of cases, it truly is a death in the family. It's like if you were a child, what would you feel if your own mother died (if you were close to her)? You wouldn't get back to normal within a week, you'd be all brooding and sad. This is someone that even though you never met them, you had a strong personal bond and attachment to. I suggest seeing your doctor, maybe they can refer you to a therapist to deal with these feelings? If it doesn't seem like the best idea right now, it will probably help in the long-term.

thank you so very much. I just started going to this 'support' group with other women who have experienced what I have and it is so amazing, when you think that your situation is bad, there is always someone else out there who's is worse than yours.

Funny thing is that most of the women seem incline to want to share with me one on one and I think that in itself is also helping me to talk and open up more. I came away from there feeling really gud, so I think that I am going to continue going.

I have also made some new friends, so that's not so bad. We`are all going out for a drink this evening.

The councellor said that that was part of my problem, being stuck in the house for the past three months. You see just before I found out that I was pregnant, I had chronic pneumonia and was confined to the house for two weeks. Then I found out about the pregnancy and becuz of my 'morning' sickness I was laid up in bed, so technically I hadn't left the house since august :( weird huh? So my councellor believes that that alone was what threw me into such a deep depression, so now I need to start venturing out more.

I even called up a few of my other friends outside the group, so we are all going to go our for a drink later this evening.

I'd have to say chattin with you guys online has helped me to open up in alot of ways too. I am not much of a talker, but I find it so easy to express myself to you guys, so I have to 'thank you' for that.

But hopefully things will turn themselves around :)

OaTmEaLfAiRy

replied on October 21st, 2005

Experienced User

Yay!

Good for you! The more friends, the better. Yeah if you have a lot of "free" time, that gives you a lot of time to think about how crappy you think your life is. It's always a good stress reliever to talk to someone. Well, i'm happy for you.. And this has sort of made my day. :d

SadMommy

replied on October 21st, 2005

Experienced User

I Am Glad....

I am glad to hear about you starting a support group....... I wonder if they have one in my town? I also was 12 weeks. I am sorry that you had to deal with the loss and also carrying your baby until your doc could do the d&c. I was lucky, my doc dropped everything for me and I was addmited in the hospital an hour after I found out.

I also feel my husband doesnt have much to say. He did cry when we were at the hospital but after that it seemed as if he just went on about his life. I really think though, that they have a diffrent way of dealing with the loss of the baby. They are more inword and we are more outword.

I hope you are feeling better today, I was thinking of yu last night sugar...

T~

Mommie Dearest

replied on October 21st, 2005

Experienced User

You girls have been so nice to me, all I can say is thanks. Really.
I guess men do have a different way of dealing with stuff. I have to admit that I haven't been the easiest to deal with during this whole ordeal. But I guess I just expected tony to act differently. I don't know maybe I was just asking for too much. I mean when I lost the first baby I told him that I didn't even see him cry and he told me that he can't afford to do that becuz he has to be strong for me, if he falls apart and I fall apart who will keep me together. But I had to tell him that his falling apart at least shows me that he is human and that he has feelings and that the miscarriage has affected him someway becuz at that moment I felt as though he just didn't care. I told him that I wanted us both to fall apart and be there to help each other thru it together and at that point he started to cry.
But with the twin, it was as if he went along his happy go lucky way. But with this one he did cry when I told him about it, but I had to wonder if he cried becuz I had the baby or if he had cried becuz the doctor told him that it was a chromososne problem and he was the one at fault. At one point I think he just assumed that it was me becuz I am 38 and he is 30, so as far as he was concerned it was my fault. But now that it appears as though it doesn't have anything to do with me, he hasn't even talked about it. Maybe that's his way of dealing with it and when he is ready he will open up I hope {sigh}

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