Postpartum Depression????? Or Something Else?????? Posted: 10-20-05 12:17pm
I lost my baby last week, and becuz I was
so far along I actually had to go into
hospital and give birth to him, which was
no tonly hard mentally but physically as
well.
The thing that since I have had the
'procedure' done I find that, my body is
still acting as though I am pregnant. My
breast are still hurting and rather heavy
and I find that when I eat that I am still
throwing up with terrible heartburn. One
of the reasons I cudn't wait to have the
"procedure' done was becuz it meant that I
wud no longer have to deal with the
horrible pregnancy symptoms, after walking
about with the baby inside of me for five
days before I actually went into
hospital.
But now that ordeal is over, I have become
the weepiest person you cud ever know. I
know that it is normal to grieve for the
baby, that I can understand. But to be
honest, I don't want to leave the house.
I don't want to go anywhere or do anything
with anyone. I don't answer the phone,
won't talk to my friends. I actually
avoid them. I don't seem to want to eat
and sleep has become a thing of the past.
I stay up all day and all night just
watching tv. I have confinded myself to
my room. My mother says that I have
become a recluse. I am just so depressed
all day and all I do is cry, and then I
get so irritable. I seem to take out all
of my frustrations on tony {my fiance} and
I know that he is trying to understand
what is wrong with me but he is finding it
very hard. My moods seem to change with
the wind. Today I am fine, tomorrow I cud
ripe his throat out and I can't stand to
have him or anyone for that matter around
me. I feel like jekyl and hyde :cry:
the thing is that a friend of mine
mentioned that it cud me ppd but I thot
only women who actually had a baby went
thru that, so I am not really quite too
sure what I am going thru.
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :oops:
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fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Posted: 10-20-05 12:38pm
Your hormone levels still drop
tremendously just like when full term baby
is brought forth. So the possibility of
ppd is very high. I am so sorry for your
loss and I pray god will help you threw
this--in jesus name
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SadMommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 194 Location: California
Sorry Posted: 10-20-05 16:25pm
How far along were you may I ask? I am
sorry for what you are going through. It
will get better sugar......... I went
through the same thing in august and I
have gotten better. I still have moments
when I think about everything, long for my
baby, wonder if I will have another. But,
we will. There is a reason for
everything, at first when my doctor told
me that I was mad. I didnt understand but
I find now that if I think of it that way
it is easyer to deal with the truth. I
wish you all the best.........
T~
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Mommie Dearest
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2005 Posts: 123 Location: BARBADOS
Re: Sorry Posted: 10-20-05 18:30pm
sadmommy
wrote:
how far along were you may I
ask? I am sorry for what you are going
through. It will get better
sugar......... I went through the same
thing in august and I have gotten better.
I still have moments when I think about
everything, long for my baby, wonder if I
will have another. But, we will. There
is a reason for everything, at first when
my doctor told me that I was mad. I
didnt understand but I find now that if I
think of it that way it is easyer to deal
with the truth. I wish you all the
best.........
i was 12 weeks. The thing is that I had
found out 5 days before that the baby had
died, but I had no idea how long it was in
there before it died and I was walking
around with this dead fetus inside of me
which was also depressing me to the
hilt.
Then my doc had scheduled my d & c for
saturday and I cudn't sleep all friday
nite, only to get a call the same saturday
saying that he cudn't do it until the
monday, so I had to have it in there for
another day {sigh}, that just serve to
piss me off even more too.
I joined this 'support' group today and I
really hope that they can help me, becuz
to be honest I don't feel any kind of
support from my fiance. I guess he is
dealing with his own cramp too becuz this
is our third loss and it looks as thoug he
is the one at fault becuz of this
chromosone problem. I mean I don't know
too much about how your chromosones work,
but my doc tells me that as long as I have
had a child before that I can't be problem
becuz your chromosonse don't change, so it
wud have to be him, and I know how much he
wants to have a child so I guess in his
own way he feels like a failure. But I
can't carry his pain and mine too although
I am hurting for him too, I am just so
depressed all the time.
Ya know we are building our own home and
becuz of the pregnancy I haven't been up
to the house site for a while, so he took
me yesterday just to get me out of the
house for a drive figuring that it wud do
me some gud. Well, I walked into the
house and I was doing pretty gud, but from
the time I walked pass the room that was
suppose to be the nursery I started to
hyperventilate and I got so dizzy I had to
hold onto the wall. I thot to myself
'what the hell is wrong with me?' then I
got back to the jeep and I just burst into
tears and I thot that I wud never stop
crying. It was like I was trying to stop
the tears from coming but they just poured
and poured and it just seemed so strange
to me.I have never in my life felt so out
of control of a situation and I just don't
know what to do.
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OaTmEaLfAiRy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 192 Location: Iowa
:( Posted: 10-20-05 20:39pm
It could be ppd mixed with the sadness of
death. You're supposed to treat
miscarriages and the like, as if it were a
death in the family. A lot of cases, it
truly is a death in the family. It's like
if you were a child, what would you feel
if your own mother died (if you were close
to her)? You wouldn't get back to normal
within a week, you'd be all brooding and
sad. This is someone that even though you
never met them, you had a strong personal
bond and attachment to. I suggest seeing
your doctor, maybe they can refer you to a
therapist to deal with these feelings? If
it doesn't seem like the best idea right
now, it will probably help in the
long-term.
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Mommie Dearest
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2005 Posts: 123 Location: BARBADOS
Re: :( Posted: 10-21-05 07:06am
oatmealfairy
wrote:
it could be ppd mixed with
the sadness of death. You're supposed to
treat miscarriages and the like, as if it
were a death in the family. A lot of
cases, it truly is a death in the family.
It's like if you were a child, what would
you feel if your own mother died (if you
were close to her)? You wouldn't get
back to normal within a week, you'd be all
brooding and sad. This is someone that
even though you never met them, you had a
strong personal bond and attachment to.
I suggest seeing your doctor, maybe they
can refer you to a therapist to deal with
these feelings? If it doesn't seem like
the best idea right now, it will probably
help in the
long-term.
thank you so very much. I just started
going to this 'support' group with other
women who have experienced what I have and
it is so amazing, when you think that your
situation is bad, there is always someone
else out there who's is worse than
yours.
Funny thing is that most of the women seem
incline to want to share with me one on
one and I think that in itself is also
helping me to talk and open up more. I
came away from there feeling really gud,
so I think that I am going to continue
going.
I have also made some new friends, so
that's not so bad. We`are all going out
for a drink this evening.
The councellor said that that was part of
my problem, being stuck in the house for
the past three months. You see just
before I found out that I was pregnant, I
had chronic pneumonia and was confined to
the house for two weeks. Then I found out
about the pregnancy and becuz of my
'morning' sickness I was laid up in bed,
so technically I hadn't left the house
since august :( weird huh? So my
councellor believes that that alone was
what threw me into such a deep depression,
so now I need to start venturing out
more.
I even called up a few of my other friends
outside the group, so we are all going to
go our for a drink later this evening.
I'd have to say chattin with you guys
online has helped me to open up in alot of
ways too. I am not much of a talker, but
I find it so easy to express myself to you
guys, so I have to 'thank you' for that.
But hopefully things will turn themselves
around :)
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OaTmEaLfAiRy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 192 Location: Iowa
Yay! Posted: 10-21-05 12:50pm
Good for you! The more friends, the
better. Yeah if you have a lot of "free"
time, that gives you a lot of time to
think about how crappy you think your life
is. It's always a good stress reliever to
talk to someone. Well, i'm happy for
you.. And this has sort of made my day.
:d
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SadMommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 194 Location: California
I Am Glad.... Posted: 10-21-05 13:00pm
I am glad to hear about you starting a
support group....... I wonder if they
have one in my town? I also was 12 weeks.
I am sorry that you had to deal with the
loss and also carrying your baby until
your doc could do the d&c. I was
lucky, my doc dropped everything for me
and I was addmited in the hospital an hour
after I found out.
I also feel my husband doesnt have much to
say. He did cry when we were at the
hospital but after that it seemed as if he
just went on about his life. I really
think though, that they have a diffrent
way of dealing with the loss of the baby.
They are more inword and we are more
outword.
I hope you are feeling better today, I was
thinking of yu last night sugar...
T~
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Mommie Dearest
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2005 Posts: 123 Location: BARBADOS
Posted: 10-21-05 16:22pm
You girls have been so nice to me, all I
can say is thanks. Really.
I guess men do have a different way of
dealing with stuff. I have to admit that
I haven't been the easiest to deal with
during this whole ordeal. But I guess I
just expected tony to act differently. I
don't know maybe I was just asking for too
much. I mean when I lost the first baby I
told him that I didn't even see him cry
and he told me that he can't afford to do
that becuz he has to be strong for me, if
he falls apart and I fall apart who will
keep me together. But I had to tell him
that his falling apart at least shows me
that he is human and that he has feelings
and that the miscarriage has affected him
someway becuz at that moment I felt as
though he just didn't care. I told him
that I wanted us both to fall apart and be
there to help each other thru it together
and at that point he started to cry.
But with the twin, it was as if he went
along his happy go lucky way. But with
this one he did cry when I told him about
it, but I had to wonder if he cried becuz
I had the baby or if he had cried becuz
the doctor told him that it was a
chromososne problem and he was the one at
fault. At one point I think he just
assumed that it was me becuz I am 38 and
he is 30, so as far as he was concerned it
was my fault. But now that it appears as
though it doesn't have anything to do with
me, he hasn't even talked about it. Maybe
that's his way of dealing with it and when
he is ready he will open up I hope {sigh}
