My name is chrisitna or you can call me
chrissy!! Heres my situation! I have
a twenty year old older brother, who
thinks he's my daddy! No matter who I
like or want to date he always has a
problem with it. By the way i'm 15.
No matter the guys age, race or
background, he dosen't aprove. I've
started too like one of his good friends,
who is tweenty years old. I thought
this would be good thing for my brother,
since he knows and trust this guy, but
turned out I was wrong. He dosen't even
want to hear about it. Are any of you
in my situation? Please give me any
advice.
Thanks alot!!
Christina
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Joey9725
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2005 Posts: 32 Location: Sydney
Posted: 10-25-05 20:31pm
Hey chrissy,
i have an older borther to who use to be
protective of me I am 18 now so he just
backs off! I know this must seem very
hard for you but your brother is only
looking out for you, thats what big
brothers do unfortunatley. What does your
parents think of you dating different
guys? What I think is you need to talk to
your parents and if they don't have a
problem with it then you do what you want,
your brother should nto control your
life.
Hope this can help!
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Sarah1978
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 123 Location: NZ
Posted: 10-25-05 21:39pm
My two brothers were also like this but
they only do it coz they care (hard to
believe I know). Try and talk to him
about it let him know he is being
unreasonable - don't scream and yell but
talk to him like an adult (he may realise
that his kid sister has actually grown
up). When it comes to his mates remember
that he knows them better than you do and
may have a bloody good reason for not
wanting you anywhere near them. I think
big brothers are worse than parents
sometimes but he is just looking out for
you.
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~baby~g~
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2005 Posts: 221 Location: Ohio
Posted: 10-26-05 01:42am
Hey chrissy! I have 2 older brothers, 18
& 19, and they used to treat me like
this! It got realllly annoying but I
finally realized that they are looking out
for me & just want the best for me in
life. Sit down & talk to him and
explain to him that you love him, but you
can handle guy situations, who you want to
date etc. On your own. It may hurt his
feelings, I dunno, but if you keep putting
up with it, it could just get worse.
Another thing is he prolly doesn't want
you growing up because your a young woman
ya know?? I'm 16 & my brothers still
tell me all the time their gonna kick any
guys a$$ that touches me but they don't,
they've accepted my bf & get along
with him! Just remember he loves you
& don't be to harsh sweetie!
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hellburn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Sep 2005 Posts: 59 Location: vic australia
Posted: 10-26-05 02:50am
You kinda lucky my sister (lezo) she does
that used to do that to me all the time.
Anyway I asked this chick out and she said
yes and things was good my sister never
aproved and then one day I walk in on her
and my girlfriend going for it. And I
haven't seen eithere of them for about 7
months now.
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poohbear101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Nov 2004 Posts: 383
Posted: 10-26-05 16:48pm
I think all males have that protective
instinct to matter whether they're your
father, older brother, younger brother or
just a friend. And I know you may find it
annoying and frustrating now but he's just
trying to show you that he cares. I have
a younger brother then me by a couple
years and he's protective even though i'm
the older one. And now that i'm pregnant
it just seems like he's even more so,
especially towards the baby, which I
actually find very comforting knowing that
it'll have an uncle to look out for it.
Also, since you are younger then your
brother by 5 years he probably still sees
you as a kid sister and as his kid sister
doesn't want to think of you dating and
having a bf because of what that may lead
to. And no brother wants to think of
their sister being sexual. Just sit down
and talk to him about it and hopefully you
two can find some common ground.
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004 Posts: 1803
Posted: 10-27-05 00:56am
Well chrissy, I don't have a biological
brother, but my family is like supertight
with four other families (three of which
have sons my age or older -- i'm 19) and
when my "brother" ryan whose 22 found out
I had a new boyfriend he just got sooooo
protective and wanted to know everything
about my bf, he wanted to know every
little detail from me and then he wanted
to question my bf himself. Sometimes
that's just the way life is. Big brothers
are almost always protective of their lil
sisters in one way or another. My other
22 yr old brother devon is always so
protective of me. We went to the same
high school so he was always like asking
me if I was alright when i'd see him in
the halls and he'd always offer to drive
me home when he drove to school.
Sometimes he even got off the bus with my
at my stop instead of his, just so we
could walk the 1 km home together. It's
just something u have to make the best of
though....Some day ur brother will meet ur
bf and will approve. It just may take a
while... Good luck.
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blue_eyed_babygirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Oct 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Amherst VA
Posted: 11-28-05 18:21pm
joey9725
wrote:
hey chrissy,
i have an older borther to who use to be
protective of me I am 18 now so he just
backs off! I know this must seem very
hard for you but your brother is only
looking out for you, thats what big
brothers do unfortunatley. What does
your parents think of you dating different
guys? What I think is you need to talk
to your parents and if they don't have a
problem with it then you do what you want,
your brother should nto control your
life.
Hope this can
help!
thanks for your advice! I live with my
mom, so my dad isn't involved with alot
that I do. My mom dosn't have a problem
with the guys I talk to. Lately I have
been talking to this one guy, and he takes
me to the movies etc.... At first I
didn't tell my brother, but he eventually
found out. To my supprise, he wasn't
even mad. He said he really didn't care,
which made me happy. He didn't even ask
questions which shocked me. He said he
didn't care in a good way. The guy i'm
talking to, I really sweet, he calls my
mom, mommy. My mom is in love with him.
Most people have a problem with this but,
he is cuban-american. He was born and
raised in florida, and he's only been in
virginia for a year. My brother has met
him one time, and said that he as ok.
And I agree with you, if my mom dosn't
have a problem with the guys I talk to,
then it shouldn't matter wut my brother
says. The way I look at it is, he's not
my daddy!
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katie2020
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Dec 2005 Posts: 17
Big Brother Trouble Posted: 12-12-05 21:02pm
There are times when family members put
alot of control when it comes to
relationships, parents and siblings. I
feel that it is normal for parents to be
protective about their kids. In this
case, your older brother is more like a
parent to you than your parents, which is
not right. Parents should act like
parents. Siblings should act like
siblings. Siblings should protect you
more than parents do. You should tell him
that. Show him this message too.
