I Want to Save My Relationship And Here Is My Problem. Posted: 10-26-05 15:02pm
Hi everyone,
my name is joe and I am 21
years of age and my fiance is 20. We have
been together for 4 years and we have a 14
month old beatifull daughter who I love
dearly. See my fiance was a virgin when
I met her and I had a relationship before
my fiance and ended up having sex with the
women before my fiance. For 4 years never
seemed to be a problem and all of sudden
she wants to leave me over it and she
states she can't deal with the fact I had
sex with someone else. She says during
our intercourse she wonders what positions
I had my ex in etc.. I told her the truth
about everything. My ex and I never had
unprotected sex and my fiance was my first
unprotected and I am thankfull it is her.
But she still sees it as me being with
another women. We have a big apartment
together and have been living together for
3 years and I can't throw away all the
memories with her and my daughter. I just
can't loose her. I do everything for her.
I wash her clothes, hang them and my
daughters, I change the baby, feed the
baby wash and play with the baby. I cook,
clean, work and do all the chores while
she crochets. She says oh maybe I am
manic depressive etc.. And she takes off
her wedding rings and then puts them on a
week later. I just am so sad and just
want a happy family and watch and raise my
daughter. I don't know what to do or say
but I feel this is really stupid to end a
relathinship over. One day she is kissing
me and all over me and next wants to leave
me. I don't know. Someone please help.
I tried so much. Thanks, joe
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 10-26-05 15:38pm
Have you sought professional help with
her?
The best to you and yours!
|
joeparker1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2005 Posts: 2
Posted: 10-26-05 16:08pm
sandyallen
wrote:
have you sought professional
help with her?
The best to you and
yours!
she won't go that route I already asked.
This really bothers me. I just want to be
the girl she used to be whom I love so
much. I look around and see kids playing
with their parents so happy and I just
want that to be my family.
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bluemoon
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Trinidad
Posted: 11-02-05 14:51pm
The thing that I have learnt from
relationships...Which is of late one of
the reasons that I am depressed...Is that
the one who loves more in the relationship
always gets the shitty end of the
stick...When I say this please do not
mistake it to mean that I am saying she
does not love you. What I am saying is
that she knows you want to work it out and
she knows how much you love her so she is
pushing all ur emotional buttons to have
that control...Once she has that...She
will always have the upper hand...She
needs to grow up...I am 22 years old and
after my four and a half year relationship
I have learnt so much about manipulation
and those games that your wifey is
playing. It is the same games by
boyfriend played...If this sort of
behaviour continues...I am afraid there
will only be heartache....I know this cuz
my heart is broken into a million pieces
and I desire no one but the one who broke
my heart and treated me like dirt...Why?
Because people always desire the thing
that they cannot control or cannot have...
|
mommy7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Sep 2005 Posts: 21
I Was Like Your Fiance Posted: 11-16-05 22:18pm
I understand her. I was like this with
my boyfriend, who is now my husband. He
had sex while we were broke up once and
then every since I was not able to get
over it. I brought it up all of the
time. The thought of him "being" with
someone else drove me nuts and it still
can, if I let it. For me, this happened
when I was 19. He was in a band and he
and this girl had a one-nighter during a
time when we were broke up. Then we
ended up moving in together but he did not
tell me he had done this...Until!! He
was blamed for a pregnancy. I believe
that he would have never told me if it
were not for that. Anyway, I was not
able to forgive him until I had an
experience some time later, after I became
a christian. I was praying for him to be
okay with all that had happened as he was
trying to locate the child (this was about
5 years later) so I was praying that he
would be emotionally okay, when something
happened to me...The lord gave me complete
peace about all of it...Something like a
spiriutal hug or something. I just know
that after that morning that I had this
experience, I was forever healed. I
guess what I am trying to say is, hang in
there and have your fiance chat with me if
she wants advice on how I coped. Take
care and may you be blessed! And
remember...You cannot change the
past...And this was before you were with
this woman. I think she will get over
this...In time. Best of luck to you!
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Jessica_CF20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 207 Location: NM
Posted: 11-16-05 22:25pm
I dont think this is something you guys
can face alone talk to her ton her good
days tell her how important it is to you
that you see someone not because she is
sick but to help streangthen the
relationship if she still refuses just
tell her everyday even on the bad days how
much you love her and that you have
forgoten about your ex anything to reasure
her good luck
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kksmith603
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 36
Posted: 11-21-05 20:09pm
Did your girlfriend act this way before
she had your daughter? I only ask this
because I once acted this same way. It
was due to post-partum depression. I was
never a jealous person until going through
the depression.
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pineystein
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Posts: 3 Location: massachusetts
Save Relationship Posted: 11-26-05 17:59pm
An easy one. Look at your posting. You
offer a littany of things you do.
What does she do for you or the baby.
Tell her you want her to share more
responsibilities towards the baby.This
will actually bring her closer to you.
Sounds like she has bipolar depression.
