I'm In a Relationship With Someone Who's Having An Affair... Posted: 10-27-05 13:14pm
Hi everyone,
i'm writing because I really need some
help. This summer I taught a summer
school class in which I met an amazing man
who i'll call james. James and I got
along really well all summer. He taught
another class. We'd talk a lot during
the children's recess and soon I found
myself imagining being with him. Soon I
found out he was married with two boys.
Immediately I stopped my flirting and
touching. But, the more time I spent
around him, the more I wanted to know him.
Nothing happened all summer, but the
last day of class we hugged goodbye, and
neither of us could let go. I started to
cry and he couldn't talk, for fear of
crying himself. He left that day to go
down south (we live in wi), and on his way
back up (he lives about an hour north of
me) he stopped by to say hello. It had
only been a week and I was a mess. I
missed him so much. We did nothing that
night, but hugged and talked for many
hours. From there we talked almost every
night for a month, before his wife found a
text message that I had sent to him. He
called to say that his wife had threatened
to take his kids and leave, so we stopped
talking for about a month or so. After a
month, though, he called me on my birthday
to say hello. About a week later I went
to visit him and we kissed. It was only
once, but it was amazing. We've since
then talked almost every night from 8 pm
until midnight (his wife works nights in a
hospital). We talk after work, while
we're driving, basically whenever we can.
He's even called me while being over at
his father-in-law's house watching
baseball after the father had gone to bed.
I love him very much, and one week ago
we made love. He had a convention for
work and I met him at the hotel and we
made love all night. I can't describe
the feeling I get when i'm around him, or
talking about him... He's amazing in
every aspect. He wants to leave his
wife, he's not in love with her (nor has
he been for many years), but he's not sure
how to handle it with his boys. He loves
his boys very much.
I don't know what i'm looking for, i'm
just trying to sort everything out in my
mind. Someone help!
J
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serinaj
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Gravois Mills, MO
Posted: 10-27-05 13:27pm
Chances are, you won't like my advice, but
I guess you asked for it. Get out, before
things get worse. You have to know that
this is wrong. I don't care if he is
having trouble or not. Think about the
faxt that he is married, that he has 2
boys. You are only thinking of yourself.
He made a committment to god, and a
family. He is throwing it all away. If
you really care about him, you will cut
all ties with him. Also, if you cared
about him, you would also care about his
children, and think about how very little
respect they could have for a woman that
turned their family upside down. If he
leaves his wife, and gets a divorce, then
think @ a relationship, if you still even
want one. Imagine being his wife.
Imagine being his son. If you can
honestly do this, you will never get
involved with another married man. Good
luck.
Serina
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chrissy721
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 817 Location: Somewhere out there
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 10-27-05 13:45pm
If you think he won't you are wrong...If
he'll cheat on his childrens' (whom he
loves very much) mother than he'll do it
to you.
He's not only cheating on her, he's
cheating them too. I don't think that's
very loving
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tarbaby
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2005 Posts: 19
Posted: 11-03-05 18:21pm
I have been somewhat in a relationship
like yours however long distance. He is
10 years older then I am. The difference
was/is he did stay for his children at the
time. His youngest is now 17 or 18.
Its definitely not an easy situation.
When we first started communicating he
said he stayed to keep his children happy
and now he wanted to be happy. Its
something you want to give a lot of
thought to. How old are those children?
I would never recommend falling in love
with someone who is married however I do
understand now how easily it happens. I
came in contact with this person right as
I was starting to get a divorce myself.
Good luck to you. Just think long and
hard about it all.
