Ok I just found out im pregnant, im not
much of a teen anymore im 19 but I have no
job and still live with my mom idk what to
do? How can I raise a kid? When I have
no job and the dad doesn't want it at all
we've talked abotu it abit before when I
thoguht I was andh e went nuts I haven't
told him im officaly pregnant yet. I want
to kid it but don't know if I can I want
it to have a good life and have both
soupportive paretents what do u guys think
im new here so what's ur story? Do u
think I can do it or even bother or just
go with the dad and not have it?
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henrysbabygirl08
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 33 Location: Mo
Posted: 10-28-05 17:01pm
Hey honey im new here to and I have to say
follow ur heart if u want ur kid then keep
it dont decide with the dad just because
he doesnt want it theres always another
guy out there that will help
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f81002
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 10-29-05 18:12pm
Optionline.Org
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mommy2B06
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2005 Posts: 150 Location: Texas
Posted: 10-29-05 20:08pm
I think you should keep the kid...And if
the father doesnt want anything to do with
it then he is the one missing out. You
will be okay. Im 17 and 31 weeks
pregnant...And I was worried at first but
its all okay now. Just go with your
heart..But dont let any man "boy" make you
decide weither you keep your baby or
not...
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CHERYLANNB
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 31 Location: MA.
Re: Don't Know What to Do?? Posted: 10-31-05 23:40pm
tiff85
wrote:
ok I just found out im
pregnant, im not much of a teen anymore im
19 but I have no job and still live with
my mom idk what to do? How can I raise a
kid? When I have no job and the dad
doesn't want it at all we've talked abotu
it abit before when I thoguht I was andh
e went nuts I haven't told him im officaly
pregnant yet. I want to kid it but don't
know if I can I want it to have a good
life and have both soupportive paretents
what do u guys think im new here so what's
ur story? Do u think I can do it or even
bother or just go with the dad and not
have it?
don't do it! I'm 35 ,
but got pregnant at 16, first time having
sex. He wanted it, he wanted to marry me,
so I went ahead with it. The pregnancys
the easy part, it's the 18 years (actually
he turned 19 yesterday) after that are
hard. We only stayed married for 2 years,
he had no patients with the baby, and he
was 20, he had no interest in being
married, even though we were. Anyways
i've pretty much been raising him alone
forever. I have a new husband, 11 years
now, we have 3 kids, he has a good job, we
have a nice home, and hes a good dad, but
it's not easy for him to accept my son, he
says he does but it shows, hes very hard
on him, even though my sons real dad is
around. I think thats even harder. I
went to the abortion clinic when I got
pregnant, but my ex and the pro lifers put
a horrible guilt trip on me, I felt bad
enough as it was. I have wanted babies
since I was 6!! Honestly, I think about
it a lot, I think the best choice for me
would have been adoption. I love my son
dearly, but hes had a tough life, and I
could have spared him so much pain, if I
hadn't been so selfish. I have 4
beautiful children, and after the 4th I
really felt I was finished, but me being
so fertile, got pregnant, using birth
control, when my youngest was 16months
old. Also, I had a 4yr old , this was
last december, right before my birthday!
I was devestated, I hate abortion, but I
honestly knew I couldn't handle another
one so soon, kids mentally and physically
drain you from morning till night, if your
a good mom like me, and meet all of their
needs and more. Anyway I chose abortion,
I was only 7 weeks, so I was able to use
the overnight pill and didn't have to go
through surgery, thank god I don't know if
I could have done it, because i'm married,
have a home etc. There really wasn't any
reason why I couldn't have one more, but
it wouldn't have been good for the other
kids, I have a hard enough time trying to
give all of them the attention they need.
I always hoped I could help another young
girl through a horrible desicion like
this, please, trust me I know first hand,
how hard it is to be a teen mom. And I
didn't even leave my kid with sitters,
didn't drink, smoke, do any drugs, and
didn't sleep around, I was a pretty good
mom, and it still was extremely difficult,
I can't even tell you the last time I
slept 8 hours straight, and i'm not
kidding, it's been at least 19 years.
Babies are a huge responsibility, don't
try to tell yourself any different! Go
babysit a newborn overnight for someone
you know, they would probably love to have
a break and you would find out how hard it
really is. Also, every child deserves a
father, a good father, with patients, a
good job, and maturity. Honestly I don't
think any guy under the age of 30 should
have children.And no girl your age should
either. Live your life first! God, I
missed out on so much. Travel, skydive,
go to college, date (don't sleep with)
lots of guys, then you can tell what kind
of guy you would like to marry. Well, I
hope and pray that I helped you, good
luck...
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CHERYLANNB
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 31 Location: MA.
Posted: 10-31-05 23:46pm
[quote="henrysbabygirl08"]hey honey im new
here to and I have to say follow ur heart
if u want ur kid then keep it dont decide
with the dad just because he doesnt want
it theres always another guy out there
that will help[don/quote] don't tell her
that! I know first hand, other guys
rarely want to raise someone elses kid,
especially a baby! You must be a
teenager. Read the book "what parents do
to mess up their kids lives" by laura
slessinger, please!
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CHERYLANNB
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 31 Location: MA.
Ok? Not! Posted: 10-31-05 23:56pm
mommy2b06
wrote:
i think you should keep the
kid...And if the father doesnt want
anything to do with it then he is the one
missing out. You will be okay. Im 17
and 31 weeks pregnant...And I was worried
at first but its all okay now. Just go
with your heart..But dont let any man
"boy" make you de cide weither you
keep or nyour baby
ot...
it's all ok now? My god
you have no clue, I feel sorry for you.
Youhave no idea how not ok everything will
be. Remember sleeping? Gone! Remember
going to the mall and just grabbing your
purse? Get a suitcase! I was a teenage
mom at 16, I know, it's harder than you
can even dream! And I had a husband, with
a job. God bless you and your baby!
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babyrae
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2004 Posts: 2957 Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posted: 11-01-05 12:19pm
Cherylann -you shouldnt try to push
adoption or even abortion on people. You
may have had it hard but it doesnt mean
everyone else is going too. Actually I
havent lost any sleep. My daughter sleeps
11-12 hours a night. Tho its hard for
some people, you make it seem as if its
impossible. Dont forget your speaking
from a point of view where you have more
than one kid and thats where a lot fo your
examples come from. These girls are
worried about one and if they decide not
to have an abortion or go thru with
adoption, then there are sources out there
to try and help them. They'll be able to
get thru it, it may be tougher but dont
make it seem like its impossible.
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3257 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 87
Thanked:128
online
Posted: 11-01-05 13:43pm
Go with your heart on this one
you can still enjoy life but with a kid
its once in awhile instead of every
weekend, your time and love evolve around
this child and not you.
Its your choice I was 19 when I had elisa
and I love her to death even though
somedays are really tough the next is
something beautiful, im pregnant again at
21 and im already so happy!! I know with
#2 there will be a major lack of sleep but
that is what moms do we live to raise our
young and sometimes it drive us mad but
sometimes those kids make you so goddamn
proud!
If you go through with it you still have
time to find a job, find resources
available, you are the one who decided how
well you and your family will live,
everything is in your hands!
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CHERYLANNB
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 31 Location: MA.
Posted: 11-02-05 21:26pm
babyrae
wrote:
cherylann -you shouldnt try
to push adoption or even abortion on
people. You may have had it hard but it
doesnt mean everyone else is going too.
Actually I havent lost any sleep. My
daughter sleeps 11-12 hours a night. Tho
its hard for some people, you make it seem
as if its impossible. Dont forget your
speaking from a point of view where you
have more than one kid and thats where a
lot fo your examples come from. These
girls are worried about one and if they
decide not to have an abortion or go thru
with adoption, then there are sources out
there to try and help them. They'll be
able to get thru it, it may be tou gher
but dont make it seem like its
impossible.
wow 11
hours!!!!!! Do you give her medication to
make her sleep? Iv'e heard of people
doing things like that, if not maybe you
should tell her doctor, it's very unusual.
And no i'm speaking from a point of
view when I was a teen mom and had only
one. I didn't have my second child untill
my first was 8 years old, when I was
mature enough to handle the additional
responsibility. What kind of resources
are out there that help you raise your
children, will they come to my house and
clean up puke at 4am? Do they take kids
to get shots and comfort them. Can they
get up with my 5 year old at 8am and get
him ready for school after iv'e been up
all night with a 2 year old with an ear
infection? Sign me up. Sorry but I don't
think theres any resources to replace a
mothers job!
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shoneen
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2004 Posts: 147
Posted: 11-02-05 22:30pm
It's your body your life. If you don't
feel secure enough in yourself to raise a
child then it's probably not a good idea.
I am a single parent in the utmost, my
daughters dad is not around and hasn't
been since she was 1 1/2, I receive no
child support or assistance from him or
anyone. It's hard sometimes real hard
but I do it, I was 19 when I got pregnant
and we eventually made plans, but I just
wasn't ready for all that, I wasn't ready
to get married and stuff. The thing is
though, it's all about what is best for
you and for that child. If you feel
you'll regret having that child then you
shouldn't do it.
|
babyrae
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2004 Posts: 2957 Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posted: 11-02-05 23:19pm
cherylannb
wrote:
babyrae
wrote:
cherylann -you shouldnt try
to push adoption or even abortion on
people. You may have had it hard but it
doesnt mean everyone else is going too.
Actually I havent lost any sleep. My
daughter sleeps 11-12 hours a night.
Tho its hard for some people, you make it
seem as if its impossible. Dont forget
your speaking from a point of view where
you have more than one kid and thats where
a lot fo your examples come from. These
girls are worried about one and if they
decide not to have an abortion or go thru
with adoption, then there are sources out
there to try and help them. They'll be
able to get thru it, it may be tou gher
but dont make it seem like its
impossible.
wow 11
hours!!!!!! Do you give her medication
to make her sleep? Iv'e heard of people
doing things like that, if not maybe you
should tell her doctor, it's very unusual.
And no i'm speaking from a point of
view when I was a teen mom and had only
one. I didn't have my second child
untill my first was 8 years old, when I
was mature enough to handle the additional
responsibility. What kind of resources
are out there that help you raise your
children, will they come to my house and
clean up puke at 4am? Do they take kids
to get shots and comfort them. Can they
get up with my 5 year old at 8am and get
him ready for school after iv'e been up
all night with a 2 year old with an ear
infection? Sign me up. Sorry but I
don't think theres any resources to
replace a mothers
job!
you continually use the word "resources"
have I said anything about her using other
resources? No. You're betaing around the
bush.
As for my child sleeping 11 hours a night,
its not unusual. I know many children
that do. It means shes active and she
likes her sleep. And? Whats wrong with
that? I dont give her medication to make
her sleep.. That thought would have never
crossed my mind.. Tho I see its crossed
yours.. Maybe ur speaking from
experience? Hmmm
and if u speak to a doctor its perfectly
normal for a child to sleep that long. My
child is healthy and active and has
nothing wrong with her.. So obviously her
sleep is a good thing.. Not bad
|
19mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 179
Posted: 11-03-05 00:21am
babyrae
wrote:
cherylannb
wrote:
babyrae
wrote:
cherylann -you shouldnt try
to push adoption or even abortion on
people. You may have had it hard but
it doesnt mean everyone else is going too.
Actually I havent lost any sleep.
My daughter sleeps 11-12 hours a night.
Tho its hard for some people, you make it
seem as if its impossible. Dont forget
your speaking from a point of view where
you have more than one kid and thats where
a lot fo your examples come from.
These girls are worried about one and if
they decide not to have an abortion or go
thru with adoption, then there are sources
out there to try and help them.
They'll be able to get thru it, it may be
tou gher but dont make it seem like its
impossible.
wow 11
hours!!!!!! Do you give her medication
to make her sleep? Iv'e heard of people
doing things like that, if not maybe you
should tell her doctor, it's very unusual.
And no i'm speaking from a point of
view when I was a teen mom and had only
one. I didn't have my second child
untill my first was 8 years old, when I
was mature enough to handle the additional
responsibility. What kind of resources
are out there that help you raise your
children, will they come to my house and
clean up puke at 4am? Do they take kids
to get shots and comfort them. Can they
get up with my 5 year old at 8am and get
him ready for school after iv'e been up
all night with a 2 year old with an ear
infection? Sign me up. Sorry but I
don't think theres any resources to
replace a mothers
job!
you continually use the word "resources"
have I said anything about her using other
resources? No. You're betaing around
the bush.
As for my child sleeping 11 hours a night,
its not unusual. I know many children
that do. It means shes active and she
likes her sleep. And? Whats wrong with
that? I dont give her medication to make
her sleep.. That thought would have
never crossed my mind.. Tho I see its
crossed yours.. Maybe ur speaking from
experience? Hmmm
and if u speak to a doctor its perfectly
normal for a child to sleep that long.
My child is healthy and active and has
nothing wrong with her.. So obviously
her sleep is a good thing.. Not
bad
i would think that children that play more
sleep more....And if her child has been
sleeping for 11 hours for a while and she
felt something was wrong with her sleeping
habits, I think she would have taken her
to the docs. A longgg time ago....
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3257 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 87
Thanked:128
online
Posted: 11-03-05 14:18pm
My daughter sleeps 10-14 hours a day at 15
months although sometimes I dont get a
full night rest I do get some sleep. The
only time my daughter has meds is when she
has a fever and shes cranky besides that
were a med free home!
Babyrae is right kids up to age 2/3
(based on research) should sleep 10-12
hours a day so this is basically night and
a nap.
Im just on lack of sleep cause im pregnant
and feel like crap all the time and no
energy to play with my daughter 24/7
(bedrest) so yeah things suck from my
point of view but I love my daughter!
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Zengki
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 10
Posted: 11-03-05 14:49pm
I think that you should do what you want
to... Being a mom has its blessings as
well as those occasional downs... But
overall... With the right mind and
support... It'll all be ok... Just see
what support you can get like
online--google it! And remember to get
health insurance (medicaid helps with
pregnancy) wic--food!! And get an
obgyn---this is if you want to keep your
unborn child. If you don't then best of
luck to you and still get support for
postpartum abortion. A few of my friends
have had abortions and went through
that...I'm not saying you will or won't
but just in case you do... There's is
help out there and other girls that have
had it... So best of luck and keep us
posted on your decision!!
