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henrysbabygirl08
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 33 Location: Mo
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Can Anyone Help Me?
Posted: 10-28-05 16:48pm
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Hi my name is jaclyn and im 15 and
pregnant. My boyfriend is 19 and he is
also the babys dad although im not showing
yet im scared to tell my mom and dad
because I dont want them to send my
boyfriend to jail what would u do? :cry:
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DaliciaLynn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2005 Posts: 2322 Location: Missouri
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Posted: 10-28-05 17:14pm
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I know how that is, i've been in that
situation & know how it feels, and to
be honest I wouldn't tell your parents.
Unlike your situation, my parents actually
were cool about it & never even wanted
to put him in jail.
You have options.
Lie about who your babies father is, say
he's younger & have your boyfriend
play along with it.
You have to watch out for the law..For the
simple fact that if you want benefits from
the state, food stamps,tanif. You have to
give them the babys fathers name, then
they'll dna test him for child support and
etc. You cant claim that he lives with
you.
But if you give social services a fake
name, it'll take them a few years to find
it.
To keep him safe, tell social services you
had a one night stand with a guy named
greg & don't know his last name or
where he lives, etc.
Lol see, when you get into a relationship
thats illegal, there's more involved than
just worrying about your parents.
These days, its not up to your parents to
keep him locked up or not, its the state's
decision.
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henrysbabygirl08
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 33 Location: Mo
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Posted: 10-28-05 17:18pm
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So what ur saying is tell my parents that
i'm prego by some other younger guy and
tell social services that its a one night
stand? I thought of that one but my
boyfriend is half mexican so when the baby
comes out looking like him dont u think
they'll know?
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DaliciaLynn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2005 Posts: 2322 Location: Missouri
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Posted: 10-28-05 22:27pm
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Who cares.
If they have suspicions, then they do.
They should believe what you tell them
though.
I'd tell your parents that you had sex
with a guy who is 16, he's not a good
person & you just dont want him to be
around or speak of him.
Social services-tell them you had a one
night stand with a guy named whoever &
you dont know anything about him, you had
just met him & slept with it, yeah it
makes you look nasty but it beats having
to go through you're guy being put in jail
for 7-10 years right?
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poohbear101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Nov 2004 Posts: 383
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Posted: 10-28-05 22:47pm
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Wow i'm kind of surprised that the state
would be the strict with ages and
everything. I mean I know theres laws
about stat. Rape and all that but I just
thought that it was up to the parents
whether or not charges were to be brought.
Where i'm from people just don't really
seem to care as much when it comes to the
age thing if they had every guy i've been
with would have been thrown in jail cause
none of them have been my age. :roll:
but if you're going to do all that lying
you have to make sure that no one finds
out the truth and in my experience nothing
stays a secret. You or your bf could tell
someone in confidence and before you know
it you're lie is being blown apart. How
are your parents with your bf? Do they
mind that you're dating an older guy? I
know that no parent wants their child to
become pregnant so young, but maybe they'd
be cooler with it then you think. I guess
in the end you just have to do what you
feel is right.
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henrysbabygirl08
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 33 Location: Mo
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Posted: 10-28-05 23:23pm
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Well my mom and dad dont completely hate
him but they hate his age my mom seems to
like him alot better than my dad though
and I dunno its just my dad I think maybe
he might press charges and I dont think I
could handle that :?:
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19mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 179
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Posted: 10-29-05 00:08am
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| henrysbabygirl08
wrote: | | well my mom and dad dont
completely hate him but they hate his age
my mom seems to like him alot better than
my dad though and I dunno its just my dad
I think maybe he might press charges and I
dont think I could handle that
:?: |
i was wondering didnt your parents know
your boyfriend was 19??? When you guys
were dating and you werent pregnant?
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henrysbabygirl08
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 33 Location: Mo
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Posted: 10-29-05 07:28am
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Ya they knew he was 19 but they werent to
thrilled on it either and my mom always
threatnend him not to try anything on me
what should I do
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DaliciaLynn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2005 Posts: 2322 Location: Missouri
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Posted: 10-29-05 15:45pm
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Do what I told you & dont tell
anybody.
Otherwise your screwed.
Seriously.
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19mommy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 179
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Posted: 10-29-05 16:04pm
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| henrysbabygirl08
wrote: | | ya they knew he was 19 but
they werent to thrilled on it either and
my mom always threatnend him not to try
anything on me what should I
do |
i think that you should tell your parents
the truth, first dont you think that they
will not want their grandchild to grow up
with a father? Theres many things you
have to ask yourself befor you go ahead
and make up such a plan. I think you
should let them know that it was a
mistake, it happened theres no way to turn
back and hes the father,it makes no sence
going through 3 years of you and your
baby's life living a lie. If you tell you
parents its another guy wouldnt they
wonder why you havent introduced them to
this guy your having sex with? And
wouldnt they want to know and talk to that
guy? I dont know about you, but I would
think your parents would want a
responsible guy that works enough to
support their child and their grandchild.
Sry this was sooo long.
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Happiness03
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2005 Posts: 333
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Posted: 10-29-05 16:34pm
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You definitely need to tell your parents
the truth. Lying to your parents is
horrible. Yeah, you know, they will be
upset when they find out you are pregnant,
but think of it this way......How will
they react when they find out that you
lied to them? To make it plain and
simple, and also to simplify your life a
little better, tell them the absolute
truth, and nothing else.
You need to look out for your baby's best
interest. When discussing this to your
parents, just say that if they decide to
press charges against this guy, that they
aren't doing what is best for you or the
baby.
Also, what would happen if you and this
guy decide to get married?
Basically...Your parents will find out, I
mean you live with them for crying out
loud! If you are going to be a good
mother to your baby, you need to tell the
truth to prevent jeopardizing your baby's
future.
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henrysbabygirl08
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 33 Location: Mo
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Thanks
Posted: 10-29-05 19:29pm
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Thanks I appreciate ur opinions keep
sendin um :wink:
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mia7
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2005 Posts: 378
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Posted: 10-29-05 19:42pm
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If you say that you think your mother
might be more accepting to this than maybe
you should tell her first. Mothers
usually are supportive and between the two
of you, you could figure out how to tell
your father.
Ask your mother if she can help you out
and maybe (depending on how far along you
are and when you start to show) you might
be able to hide it from your father until
the pregnancy is far enough and real
enough to let him know. Show him the
ultrasound pics then or something to make
him warm up to the fact that you are
pregnant.
Let them know the truth about your
boyfriend and talk to your boyfriend about
what responsibilities he's going to take
and how he's going to change his life to
support this baby. Once you figure all
this out have him talk to your father
about it so that he can see that he is for
real and responsible.
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oh_mommy
Supporter
Joined: 04 Sep 2005 Posts: 3730 Location: vancouver island, bc canada
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
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Posted: 11-08-05 02:54am
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Im 16 and I live in canada do you know if
I were to get preg (my bfs 19) if he would
get put in jail or would the fact of us
getting togeather when he was 18 and I was
16 change anything? We're only 2 and a
half years differnce so I cant see why
the law would be so cruel, the laws
normaly good up here
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henrysbabygirl08
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 33 Location: Mo
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Posted: 11-08-05 20:08pm
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Im not sure uhhh it might make a
differance but I think ur parents have to
press charges anyways cause thats how I
think it is here but who knows anyways
best of luck u probably need it oh and by
the way u could find the answer to ur
question on the internet
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simpleirishgirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Nov 2005 Posts: 11 Location: Illinois, USA
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Posted: 11-08-05 21:08pm
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Lying will get you nowhere hun
be honest and open with them, they will
appreciate it in the long run, trust me
they can try to press charges on him if
they so feel the need to, but you would
have to make a statement and if you don't
press forward with the charges, he won't
have to go to jail.
Good luck hun
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