Teen Pregnancy Forum - Can Anyone Help Me?
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Can Anyone Help Me?

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henrysbabygirl08

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 33
Location: Mo
Can Anyone Help Me?
Posted: 10-28-05 16:48pm

Hi my name is jaclyn and im 15 and pregnant. My boyfriend is 19 and he is also the babys dad although im not showing yet im scared to tell my mom and dad because I dont want them to send my boyfriend to jail what would u do? :cry:
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DaliciaLynn

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2005
Posts: 2322
Location: Missouri

Posted: 10-28-05 17:14pm

I know how that is, i've been in that situation & know how it feels, and to be honest I wouldn't tell your parents. Unlike your situation, my parents actually were cool about it & never even wanted to put him in jail.

You have options.

Lie about who your babies father is, say he's younger & have your boyfriend play along with it.

You have to watch out for the law..For the simple fact that if you want benefits from the state, food stamps,tanif. You have to give them the babys fathers name, then they'll dna test him for child support and etc. You cant claim that he lives with you.

But if you give social services a fake name, it'll take them a few years to find it.

To keep him safe, tell social services you had a one night stand with a guy named greg & don't know his last name or where he lives, etc.

Lol see, when you get into a relationship thats illegal, there's more involved than just worrying about your parents.

These days, its not up to your parents to keep him locked up or not, its the state's decision.
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henrysbabygirl08

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 33
Location: Mo

Posted: 10-28-05 17:18pm

So what ur saying is tell my parents that i'm prego by some other younger guy and tell social services that its a one night stand? I thought of that one but my boyfriend is half mexican so when the baby comes out looking like him dont u think they'll know?
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DaliciaLynn

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Joined: 29 Jul 2005
Posts: 2322
Location: Missouri

Posted: 10-28-05 22:27pm

Who cares.

If they have suspicions, then they do. They should believe what you tell them though.

I'd tell your parents that you had sex with a guy who is 16, he's not a good person & you just dont want him to be around or speak of him.

Social services-tell them you had a one night stand with a guy named whoever & you dont know anything about him, you had just met him & slept with it, yeah it makes you look nasty but it beats having to go through you're guy being put in jail for 7-10 years right?
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poohbear101

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 383

Posted: 10-28-05 22:47pm

Wow i'm kind of surprised that the state would be the strict with ages and everything. I mean I know theres laws about stat. Rape and all that but I just thought that it was up to the parents whether or not charges were to be brought. Where i'm from people just don't really seem to care as much when it comes to the age thing if they had every guy i've been with would have been thrown in jail cause none of them have been my age. :roll:

but if you're going to do all that lying you have to make sure that no one finds out the truth and in my experience nothing stays a secret. You or your bf could tell someone in confidence and before you know it you're lie is being blown apart. How are your parents with your bf? Do they mind that you're dating an older guy? I know that no parent wants their child to become pregnant so young, but maybe they'd be cooler with it then you think. I guess in the end you just have to do what you feel is right.
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henrysbabygirl08

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 33
Location: Mo

Posted: 10-28-05 23:23pm

Well my mom and dad dont completely hate him but they hate his age my mom seems to like him alot better than my dad though and I dunno its just my dad I think maybe he might press charges and I dont think I could handle that :?:
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19mommy

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 179

Posted: 10-29-05 00:08am

henrysbabygirl08 wrote:
well my mom and dad dont completely hate him but they hate his age my mom seems to like him alot better than my dad though and I dunno its just my dad I think maybe he might press charges and I dont think I could handle that :?:


i was wondering didnt your parents know your boyfriend was 19??? When you guys were dating and you werent pregnant?
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henrysbabygirl08

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 33
Location: Mo

Posted: 10-29-05 07:28am

Ya they knew he was 19 but they werent to thrilled on it either and my mom always threatnend him not to try anything on me what should I do
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DaliciaLynn

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2005
Posts: 2322
Location: Missouri

Posted: 10-29-05 15:45pm

Do what I told you & dont tell anybody.

Otherwise your screwed.

Seriously.
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19mommy

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 179

Posted: 10-29-05 16:04pm

henrysbabygirl08 wrote:
ya they knew he was 19 but they werent to thrilled on it either and my mom always threatnend him not to try anything on me what should I do


i think that you should tell your parents the truth, first dont you think that they will not want their grandchild to grow up with a father? Theres many things you have to ask yourself befor you go ahead and make up such a plan. I think you should let them know that it was a mistake, it happened theres no way to turn back and hes the father,it makes no sence going through 3 years of you and your baby's life living a lie. If you tell you parents its another guy wouldnt they wonder why you havent introduced them to this guy your having sex with? And wouldnt they want to know and talk to that guy? I dont know about you, but I would think your parents would want a responsible guy that works enough to support their child and their grandchild. Sry this was sooo long.
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Happiness03

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2005
Posts: 333

Posted: 10-29-05 16:34pm

You definitely need to tell your parents the truth. Lying to your parents is horrible. Yeah, you know, they will be upset when they find out you are pregnant, but think of it this way......How will they react when they find out that you lied to them? To make it plain and simple, and also to simplify your life a little better, tell them the absolute truth, and nothing else.

You need to look out for your baby's best interest. When discussing this to your parents, just say that if they decide to press charges against this guy, that they aren't doing what is best for you or the baby.

Also, what would happen if you and this guy decide to get married? Basically...Your parents will find out, I mean you live with them for crying out loud! If you are going to be a good mother to your baby, you need to tell the truth to prevent jeopardizing your baby's future.
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henrysbabygirl08

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 33
Location: Mo
Thanks
Posted: 10-29-05 19:29pm

Thanks I appreciate ur opinions keep sendin um :wink:
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mia7

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2005
Posts: 378

Posted: 10-29-05 19:42pm

If you say that you think your mother might be more accepting to this than maybe you should tell her first. Mothers usually are supportive and between the two of you, you could figure out how to tell your father.

Ask your mother if she can help you out and maybe (depending on how far along you are and when you start to show) you might be able to hide it from your father until the pregnancy is far enough and real enough to let him know. Show him the ultrasound pics then or something to make him warm up to the fact that you are pregnant.

Let them know the truth about your boyfriend and talk to your boyfriend about what responsibilities he's going to take and how he's going to change his life to support this baby. Once you figure all this out have him talk to your father about it so that he can see that he is for real and responsible.
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oh_mommy

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Joined: 04 Sep 2005
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Location: vancouver island, bc canada
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Posted: 11-08-05 02:54am

Im 16 and I live in canada do you know if I were to get preg (my bfs 19) if he would get put in jail or would the fact of us getting togeather when he was 18 and I was 16 change anything? We're only 2 and a half years differnce so I cant see why the law would be so cruel, the laws normaly good up here
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henrysbabygirl08

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 33
Location: Mo

Posted: 11-08-05 20:08pm

Im not sure uhhh it might make a differance but I think ur parents have to press charges anyways cause thats how I think it is here but who knows anyways best of luck u probably need it oh and by the way u could find the answer to ur question on the internet
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simpleirishgirl

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Nov 2005
Posts: 11
Location: Illinois, USA

Posted: 11-08-05 21:08pm

Lying will get you nowhere hun

be honest and open with them, they will appreciate it in the long run, trust me

they can try to press charges on him if they so feel the need to, but you would have to make a statement and if you don't press forward with the charges, he won't have to go to jail.



Good luck hun
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