A co-dependent is a person who is addicted
to another person and their problems, or
to a relationship and its problems.
(sharon wegscheider-cruse).
A co-dependent person has let another
person's behavior affect him/her and is
obsessed with controlling that person's
behavior. (melody beattie).
Co-dependence is a dysfunctional pattern
of living and problem solving which is
nurtured by a set of oppressive rules
within the family system. (robert
subby).
A co-dependent person has an unhealthy
dependence on another person/persons such
that s/he is over-involved with the other
and under-involved with the self, which
leads to a loss of personal balance and
power, confused identity, and blurred
boundaries within relationships. This
occurs and is nurtured in an atmosphere of
denial and collusion.
Last edited by danielv on 12-08-03 10:06am; edited 2 times in total
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danielv
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2003 Posts: 124 Location: , Europe
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Common Characteristics of Codependency Posted: 12-08-03 10:04am
What is codependency? (aca checklist)
following is a commonly used list of
characteristics of co-dependency.
My good feelings about who I am stem from
being liked by you.
My good feelings about who I am stem from
receiving approval from you.
Your struggle affects my serenity. My
mental attention focuses on solving your
problems/relieving your pain.
My mental attention is focused on you.
My mental attention is focused on
protecting you.
My mental attention is focused on
manipulating you to do it my way.
My self-esteem is bolstered by solving
your problems.
My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving
your pain.
My own hobbies/interests are put to one
side. My time is spent sharing your
hobbies/interests.
Your clothing and personal appearance are
dictated by my desires and I feel you are
a reflection of me.
Your behavior is dictated by my desires
and I feel you are a reflection of me.
I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware
of how you feel.
I am not aware of what I want - I ask what
you want. I am not aware - I assume.
The dreams I have for my future are linked
to you.
My fear of rejection determines what I say
or do.
My fear of your anger determines what I
say or do.
I use giving as a way of feeling safe in
our relationship.
My social circle diminishes as I involve
myself with you.
I put my values aside in order to connect
with you.
I value your opinion and way of doing
things more than my own.
The quality of my life is in relation to
the quality of yours.
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gomez
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Posts: 2 Location: Florida
Codependency Posted: 12-15-03 13:42pm
I recognize most of those characteristics
in myself...What do I do about it?
